My Absolute Darling 1.5 stars

[Jen]

So... lots of people seem to love this book and I find that kind of mind-boggling. For those who don't know anything about the book, the synopsis doesn't really mention this but it's pretty graphic account of child sexual, emotional, and physical abuse. Turtle lives with her father in a cabin in the woods. Her father is a survivalist and the two characters are isolated. IN that isolation, her father abuses her. Again and again, and again. And the reader is dragged into the abuse in stunningly repulsive detail.

I'm no light and fluffy type of reader and I can tolerate a LOT of dark material and I appreciate difficult topics when treated well. For example, I loved A Little Life despite the subject matter b/c I think the author brilliantly captured trauma and the way it impacts an individual.

But I found this book completely repulsive. I almost gave up after the first few chapters. This is clearly a book written by a man trying to imagine a young girl's experience of trauma and it didn't work (for me). I do understand what the author is trying to do with the book. I saw him talk about the need to avoid glossing over sexual abuse - go graphic and go dark b/c that is what it is like to experience those things.

I think Tallent also wants to capture this push and pull between love for a parent, no matter how abusive that parent, and the fear, revulsion, and shame elicited by the abuse from that parent. The problem in this book is that in trying to describe those conflicting emotions, the author essentially romanticized elements of truly horrendous abuse.

I could go on and on. I pretty much hated everything about this book. The dialogue was completely unbelievable - teenage boys do NOT talk the ways the books in this book do. There are sections that are really well written (not the dialogue) but some of the descriptions.

Anyway, here are two reviews (one by Roxane Gay) that say it better than I can and that capture exactly how I felt about this book.

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/my...

[Booknblues]

Thank you for your review. I will be skipping this.

The synopsis makes me want to read this especially with the Northern California setting. It doesn't mention the incest.

[Jen]

Booknblues wrote: "Thank you for your review. I will be skipping this.

The synopsis makes me want to read this especially with the Northern California setting. It doesn't mention the incest."

And I don’t get why that isn’t mentioned in the synopsis. It starts from the first chapter so it’s not a spoiler and while I don’t think trigger warnings are usually needed, the abuse here is so graphic that I think it is needed. I knew going in what it was about. I can’t imagine encountering certain scenes without any warning.

[Amy]

I think a lot of people are skipping this book to you too no need to endure such abuse. I myself have had trouble understanding why people are loving this so much and giving it five stars. I find it particularly triggering. I’m not even going near it. I wonder if that’s related to Jasons Sunday conversation of today. Not exactly per se, but I made the link.

[Susie]

I am in the five star camp for this one. I found it to be all consuming and yes, it was repulsive and graphic and violent, but to me that was what made it amazing. It had me feeling a full range intense emotions, and a lot of them were uncomfortable, but so is the topic. I can absolutely see that it’s not for everyone though. You know me, I tend to find the darkest literature the most compelling.

[Anita]

I'll confess, Jen, that I rated this three stars, but that I'm very sympathetic to some of the key points you make in your review. I feel like my three stars was more rounding up from a 2.5.

The two points you make that I really, really agree with are:

"This is clearly a book written by a man trying to imagine a young girl's experience of trauma and it didn't work (for me). "

I felt the entire time that Turtle seemed like a young girl the way a guy would imagine a young girl, not like any actual girls. The characterization just seemed way off to me, and I couldn't get my mind around the voice.

"The problem in this book is that in trying to describe those conflicting emotions, the author essentially romanticized elements of truly horrendous abuse."

While I do understand that abuse yields conflicting emotions, I still believe that in teenagers, these types of conflicting emotions most often result in a lot of anger. This book really portrays them in a much more romanticized light which struck me more like a lover's reaction than a daughter's reaction. I was pretty turned off by the whole thing, but gave the author credit for trying . . .I just don't think he succeeded.

I love dark books and like you, loved A Little Life, but I need to believe in order to feel. I did believe in some specific scenes in this book, but oddly none of them were the abuse scenes nor were they they thriller-esque scenes at the end. I had greater appreciation for some of the quieter moments in the book.

Interesting that this book is very polarizing because I have several friends who loved it and gave it five stars, friends I normally agree with wholeheartedly. And also some I would never suspect would like it, lol. And other friends who just hated it!

[Meli]

I have this on my TBR shelf right now... Initially I only heard rave reviews but starting to see more critical ones like yours.

I'll be curious to see where I land on this one compared to other readers.