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Authors Seeking FREE Betas > Looking for insight/opinion for my book's description. 200 words.

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message 1: by S.L. (new)

S.L. Wyllie (kingjasteroth) | 28 comments “If your powers aren’t harnessed and controlled properly, they could consume you and take command. Or, something far worse…”

When Princess Ariella learns she’s to be tutored for ten hours a day, she believes it to be a punishment of her father’s. That is, until she meets her tutor Austin, and discovers she is gifted with an incredible power, and that Austin was sent to her castle to train her.

Darkness looms on the horizon when Austin discovers a malevolent group called the Black Magic Sorcerers plan to capture Ariella and harness her powers to help them take over the Eastern Realm, because of her connection to King Jasteroth which Austin realizes runs deeper than the identical powers Ariella and Jasteroth both possess.

A strange force dwells within the castle; overturning Ariella’s once quiet and simple life. Threatening to destroy all Ariella holds dear, but only if she and Austin cannot find and destroy it first.

message 2: by S.L. (new)

S.L. Wyllie (kingjasteroth) | 28 comments This is for a YA fantasy book with an overall positive message for younger female readers.

message 3: by Merissa (new)

Merissa Racine | 1 comments In my humble opinion, I'd suggest a different ending, i.e.:
Threatening to destroy all Ariella holds dear, can she and Austin find and destroy the evil force before it's too late?

message 4: by S.L. (new)

S.L. Wyllie (kingjasteroth) | 28 comments That's good I will rework that and post the changes in the comments, thank you :)

message 5: by Keith (new)

Keith Oxenrider (mitakeet) | 1167 comments You might get better feedback posting here:

I agree the last sentence is awkward. BTW, the supposed sweet spot for blurbs is 100-150 words, so yours is 'too long' in that regard. My opinion is your could be trimmed without losing anything and possibly gaining.

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