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message 1: by Angel, queen b (new)

Angel (angelyh) | 358 comments Mod

message 2: by shinra (new)

shinra | 1179 comments

The faint sound of Bon Jovi could be heard in Odessa’s house. Odessa was working on a painting, while nursing a glass of red wine in her hand. When she was painting, she tended to before being a little buzzed. It helped her imagination flow better. Paint smudges had found their way onto her hands but she was used to it by now. Her apartment walls were crowded with her own art, each one unique in its own way. Every time she looked at them she wondered if her dad would be proud of her. He always said that her art was beautiful but she wondered if he just said that because he knew she desperately wanted to be like him.

Taking a clean paintbrush into her hand, she caught up her hair and secured it with the paintbrush. It was an occupational habit of hers. Every time she made a quick run to the store or something while she was in the midst of painting she always got strange looks from people as using a paintbrush instead of a hair clip was obviously not normal in other people’s eyes. Splattering the canvas with blue paint, Odessa took another sip of wine, as she slightly moved with the music, feeling much more relaxed as the alcohol took effect. She was about to dip her brush in some red paint but then she heard the doorbell ring.

Odessa put the wine glass to her lips, drinking the remnants of the dark red liquid. She placed it on the table littered with art supplies and proceeded towards the door. She then remembered that she was barely wearing clothes. The only thing that covered her body was an oversized button-down that wasn’t even buttoned all the way, which reached mid-thigh. She only shrugged it off, not really caring what she looked like. So she moved towards the door once again, and opened it.

message 3: by rimskur (new)

rimskur | 1470 comments

Mateo was burnt out. Granted, he had done it to himself. The thoughts that had been attacking his mind night and day had worked him up so much that he threw himself into activities, hoping that he could get it off his mind. He wasn’t usually bothered when someone he slept with grew frustrated and upset with him. There had been numerous occasions in which he’d left some girl crying or left a lover irate about this being their last time. Mateo didn’t care. But this - this was driving him nuts. He couldn’t think straight, didn’t have much of an appetite at all, and his mood was just dangerous.

But he’d made plans and he had to fulfill them. Otherwise, he’d have another angry person on his back. Besides, he’d only just made up with Odessa again and he couldn’t bail on her again when he’d promised to be her model. So, moody and having just run three miles to try and waste time and energy, Mateo found himself at Odessa’s loft’s doorstep. He’d only knocked twice when the door was pushed open and revealed a severely underdressed Odessa.

Mateo leered at her, his lips twitching into a smirk while he looked up and down her long legs. “Hey,” he greeted, sliding into her loft and shutting the door behind him. It was nice to enter the cool environment after his run for he was still covered in sweat. “Can I have a drink? And food? I’m starving,” he started immediately, his hand coming down to her hip and twirling her around to lead her towards her kitchen. It was a good distraction, so he pushed himself into it completely. Drink, food, Odessa. Nothing else was in his mind and nothing else mattered right now.

message 4: by shinra (last edited Jul 05, 2018 04:24AM) (new)

shinra | 1179 comments

A smile formed on Odessa’s lips. “Hey.” She greeted, closing the door as he walked in. As they walked into the kitchen, noticed Mateo was acting a little weird. Years of knowing him and pretending to be his fake lover and times made her able to pick up on small thing about him.

Slightly frowning, she moved to her cabinet, standing on her tiptoes so she could get a plate. With skill, she turned off the stove and served the fettucini alfredo she had put together since she didn’t feel like ordering anything. She proceeded to pour out a drink for Mateo, all the while humming to herself.

After placing everything on the table, she sat on the counter, facing Mateo, a glass of water in her hand. As she sipped from it occasionally, she looked quizzingly at Mateo. “Are you okay, love?” She questioned, her British accent more prominent that usual. She thought she might as well just ask him because if something was wrong, she was sure he was probably going to be distracted. And she didn’t want to pressure him into helping her right now if he wasn’t up for it. Art was important to her but she guessed she could wait. As she waited for him to answer, her light brown eyes ran over his body, taking in everything. A small part of her was turned on by Mateo’s current appearance. She bit her lip as her mind wandered elsewhere. She remembered that she kissed Mateo at the party but she couldn’t remember any detail after that except for Everleigh interrupting. Brushing it off, she decided she wasn’t going to dwell over it. Kissing Mateo wasn’t anything new to her.

message 5: by rimskur (new)

rimskur | 1470 comments

It was convenient that he knew Odessa for so long. She was easy to get back into the groove with, the kind of person that he had no hard time trying to talk to. She was comfortable and she gave everything to him that he would ever need. Mateo climbed onto the counter, leaning his hands back and kicking his feet before him as he watched her heat up the food and pour them drinks.

“I’m fine, Dess,” he smiled at her, and it seemed genuine enough. Mateo had the habit of being very convincing. His easy smiles and soothing voice could persuade anyone of most things, even if they weren’t usually suited to do such things. Here, he easily could convince Odessa that everything was alright, that nothing was on his mind and he was completely fine. He took the glass of water from her, gulping it down quickly from the strong thirst he’d had from his run. But, just as much as Mateo was convincing enough, Odessa also had this way about her - she was so comfortable and attentive and concerned that Mateo would simply spill anything that was on his mind. She had the habit of making his speak his mind.

“We need to drink something a little stronger if you’re going to suck me dry,” he chuckled quietly, finding that his phone was feeling rather heavy in his pocket right now. There was this strong urge to say something, to yell or to shout at someone, but he resisted it, simply staring at the floor between them. Odessa wouldn’t understand, would she? Perhaps she would. Mateo himself couldn’t quite understand what was going on, so how could he even possibly explain it to her? “How about we try to finish this bottle before we get into anything, yeah?” Mateo suggested, grabbing the one already sitting on the counter. It was nearly full, but with the way the two of them drank, he was sure they could finish it rather quickly.

message 6: by shinra (last edited Jul 05, 2018 05:59AM) (new)

shinra | 1179 comments

Odessa’s laugh echoed through the kitchen. She rested her head on Mateo’s shoulder, a sigh leaving her lips. “You’re not supposed to be tempting me to drinking.” She scolded playfully. Despite her words, she hopped off the counter and found two glasses for them. Taking the bottle from Mateo, filling the glasses all the way. She smirked at him and handed him one. “But being drunk is so much fun.” Odessa took a drink from her glass, bottle in hand as she made her way to her living room. As she sait on her sofa, she leaned back her head, looking at the ceiling all the stuff she had painted on there.

She knew Mateo even before high school. So she knew when he didn’t want to talk about something. So she decided she was just going to play dumb because he was stubborn and she didn’t want to argue with him again. Feeling the dip in the sofa, a sign Mateo had sat down beside, she shifted her body and laid down, head resting on his lap, her light brown eyes glancing up on it. She put the glass in her hand on the floor along with the bottle. “So, how’s life?” She drawled, her tone light as she asked the cliche question, lips forming into a playful grin.

message 7: by rimskur (new)

rimskur | 1470 comments

He followed her to the sofa eagerly, trailing her like the lost puppy that he felt like right now. As she moved, he naturally watched her - and he had to admit, she was fucking gorgeous. The bit of hurt that had been blossoming into something larger every day was appeased for a moment when he watched her, latching onto this image of her smiling over her shoulder as she moved her long legs. And when he’d come up next to her on the couch, Mateo sighed softly of relief when she’d laid her head down on his lap. God, he loved being around her and she never made him feel like shit. That smile that appeared across of his lips was genuine for sure, coaxed out of him when he’d lowered his hand to her cheek, brushing against her high bones and tucking loose hair behind her ear.

“Better now that I’m here with you,” he admitted, his shoulders shrugging lightly. Mateo continued his ministrations, stroking the side of her face and playing with the ends of her dark hair. He remembered a time where he’d wanted so badly to be in this place, to have Odessa’s full attention solely on him. He’d wanted her to dawn over him, to pretend that he was the only one she could ever have eyes for. Things had long changed since their freshman year. But, he still yearned for her like this.

He twisted her around suddenly, ushering her to rise up. Mateo pushed both of them down on the sofa, tangling his legs with hers as he wrapped his arm around her waist and nuzzled his face into her neck. “Thank you for being my friend, Odessa,” he murmured by her ear, “It means a lot to me.”

message 8: by shinra (new)

shinra | 1179 comments

Odessa closed her eyes, body melting at Mateo’s touch. A lazy smile played on her lips, her skin tingling. Moments like this made her wonder what would have happened if she said yes when Mateo asked her out three years ago. Would they still be able to relax like this? Would they have broken up already. She didn’t know and she didn’t want to think about it. She was just glad she could be so comfortable around him right now. She couldn’t go back into the past and change things so it was best she didn’t dwell on the what ifs.

A surprised laugh left her mouth as Mateo pushed her down. A genuine grin lit up her face as she hummed, coaxing Mateo to relax. Her hands moved to his soft hair, playing with the brown curls. “Always.” She murmured, closing her eyes for a second, pressing her lips to his temple. And that was the truth - even if Mateo and her were completely different people compared to freshman year. If she was his friend, she supposed that was enough compared to the possibility of not being in his life. He was one of her best friends and she loved him even though he definitely pissed her off sometimes. Both of them could be stubborn asses and they always helped each other when they needed it.

So Odessa decided this weird friendship they had going on was okay.

message 9: by rimskur (new)

rimskur | 1470 comments

She was warm and he swore that if he closed his eyes right now, he would fall asleep for sure. Odessa had that kind of affect on him - she calmed him down, gave him a sense of reality, made him get off his high horse. She was real and she was genuine and she was everything he wished he could be. But, he couldn’t be her, so he just latched onto her, hoping that maybe one day she might just rub off on him in some way. He relished her warmth, relished her kindness and open mind. If only someone else was like this...

Mateo’s eyes snapped open again, looking around Odessa’s loft now from behind her shoulder. The reality of his other situation was beginning to sink in again and Mateo was desperate for it to fade away. “Let’s get drunk, yeah?” he rumbled, rubbing a hand down her arm before he leaned over her to grab the glasses one by one. Drinking was a fast and easy way to take his mind off of things and it was a wonder why he hadn’t resorted to it days ago when he’d first left Roman’s house. A shaky breath slipped from his throat as he sat up a bit on the sofa and raised the glass of wine to his lips, just praying that his tolerance would not keep him from getting drunk today.

“You wanna know something funny, Dess?” he suddenly prompted her, heart beating a little faster in his chest. Mateo didn’t know why he was saying this, why he thought it was okay to bring this up. Why was he making a new situation when he already had a problem weighing down on his shoulders? Well, that was just classic Mateo, fucking up everything and everyone in his life. But, he’d started and he couldn’t stop now, “I was really in love with you freshman year. Never got over you, it was really sad.”

message 10: by shinra (new)

shinra | 1179 comments

There it was. The very topic that she had been avoiding since freshman year. Odessa’s eyes widened in shock, a sinking feeling in her stomach as she shot up, her light brown eyes avoiding Mateo. Running a hand through her long dark hair, she bent down and picked up the full glass of wine, gulping down everything without hesitation. She wasn’t mentally or physically prepared to have this conversation with him. And she didn’t think she ever would be. Taking the paintbrush out of her hair, she let the dark locks free, making a quick retreat to the kitchen. A bitter laugh left her mouth. “If we are going to have this conversation, I’m going to need something much stronger than wine.” She screwed open a bottle of vodka that had been hidden deep in her cabinet. She took a swig from it, not even bothering with glasses at this point.

Walking back to the living room, she took another one, and sighed. She sat back on the couch, this time, maintaining a certain distance from him. She honestly didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even know if she should say anything because she felt like she was going to make it worse. “Mateo…” His name was the only thing that left her mouth, voice subtly pleading him to not do this right now. Not after they just started talking again after the party. But a part of her knew he wasn’t going to stop and she wished she was ignorant to Mateo’s personality. If she was, then she could have some hope that he would change his mind and not bring this up.

message 11: by rimskur (new)

rimskur | 1470 comments

His mouth was moving and words were flowing out of his mouth with no control. Mateo hadn't even heard what he said, but all he could comprehend was Odessa climbing off of the sofa, knocking back her glass of wine and taking off towards the kitchen. Mateo's shoulders slumped miserably, holding his head in his hands when he'd finally placed his feet on the ground again. "Fuck!" he muttered to himself with a groan, clenching his hands at his knees. His head was throbbing and he knew he had made a mistake in speaking his thoughts out loud. Different emotions were blending together and the frustration he was feeling with Roman had come out to haunt him by bringing up the hurt feelings he had over this strange relationship with Odessa.

"Pass me the bottle," he shook his head having followed her into the kitchen, knowing that now that he'd started it, he was going to have to continue going through with it. And when he'd taken a swing of the bottle, he didn't feel any more invigorated than he had before. So much for liquid luck to get him through this conversation that he had started.

"Look, I don't know why -" he tried to explain himself, pressing his hands against the counter and stretching his body back. Mateo couldn't quite look her in the eye. He needed more vodka. Shaking his head, Mateo grabbed the bottle again, swinging it back until his throat was burning and his head was spinning. Mateo began to sputter, gasping from the drink, "I-I just get with so many people and it's fun. It's really, really fun. But, it's just...it's not satisfying anymore. It's easy. And then - then the people I like, like genuinely like, well - they don't want me and it really hurts."

He just couldn't get himself to admit that this was not the only time. Odessa was not the only one. There'd been a cycle of Mateo getting attached to someone very strongly without the sex and the scandal all of his life practically. But, in the end, that person would always leave him somehow. It started with his childhood friend Abigail and now Mateo couldn't handle the idea of Roman not wanting him nor could let it remain unsaid that Odessa was always an unrequited love for him.

message 12: by shinra (new)

shinra | 1179 comments

“Bloody fucking hell.” Curse words flew out of Odessa’s mouth. She pressed her hands against the sink, as she rocked back and forth on her heels, anxiety eating at her. One hand ran through her hair as she let out a sigh, overwhelmed from this conversation and apparently drinking was a bad idea because it just amplified her anxiety. Taking a deep breath, she moved in front of Mateo, situating herself in between his legs. Gently, she took the bottle out of his hand and placed in on the counter. Her hands moved to his cheeks, forcing her to look her in the eye. “Mateo, look at me.” She coaxed him, trying to seem calm despite her heart beating out of her chest. “I’m not leaving. If you thought that I’m sorry.” Sniffling, she smiled at him, masking her pain. “I admit I was a bitch to you when we were freshman. And I’ve been a bitch to you after that because I ignored and avoided this whole thing.” She bit her lip, as she rambled, words flowing out of her mouth without much thought.

Stepping back from Mateo, she sniffled again. When she was drunk, she was prone to be very emotional. Fighting the tears, she grabbed the bottle, taking another swig and hopped on the counter. She keep drinking, trying to focus on the burn of the vodka running down her throat and tried to push down the feeling in her chest. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.” She said, suddenly realizing something. “Maybe we wouldn’t be so fucked up and could act normally around each other.” She said this but a part of her didn’t regret it because Mateo always tempted her. And she always welcomed it. Every time she gave in, she was surely not disappointed. There was also the fact that was the closest she was going to get with him after she had rejected him three years ago even though she wanted to say yes. But right now she really didn’t know what she wanted.

message 13: by rimskur (new)

rimskur | 1470 comments

Mateo threw his head back, refusing to look at her by staring up at the ceiling. The panic was slowly setting in now, a prickling sensation that started right in the center of his chest. Then, slowly, bit by bit, it began to grow, inching first to his lungs and then a pain in his ribs. Mateo felt like he couldn’t suddenly breathe, as if the air was robbed from his lungs. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth and he bit back the response sitting on it.

She’d done it again - perhaps she hadn’t realized it. He’d always flirted with her, always took the opportunity to kiss in her stride. He always complimented the way she looked and dressed, always tried to talk to her. His interest in her had always been made clear, but since their freshman year, it had become more friendship than it has anything else. There wasn’t room for more - until there was. And he saw the sliver of opportunity and he ruined everything.

“”See, this is just what I mean,” Mateo protested, his words tumbling into one another as the strong alcohol began to sit in some. He grabbed the bottle from her by the neck and it almost slipped right through his fingers and crashed onto the kitchen floor by her feet. But, he held on and pushed the opening to his lips, focing the drink down his throat.

He was starting to feel dizzy after swallowing what felt like a lot of vodka. They were moving through the bottle too fast and it wasn’t good for either of them. “You’ve known, you’ve always known. I was pathetic in freshman year but I’ve turned into this because I thought you would like it more, but you still don’t want me,” Mateo shook his head. He grew distracted, thoughts racing and blurring as his fingers jabbed at his phone, a message being haphazardly sent to that stupid white haired boy that wouldn’t get off of his mind.

message 14: by shinra (last edited Jul 05, 2018 06:19PM) (new)

shinra | 1179 comments

Odessa buried her head in her hands, hair hiding her face from view. “That is not what I fucking meant.” She said, suddenly feeling drained. She threw her head back, combing back the strands. She couldn’t handle Mateo’s reverse psychology right now. She was too drunk for the bullshit. “I’m not dealing with this. Not today.” She moved out of the kitchen, retreating from the living room, putting as much distance as she could between her and Mateo. If she talked any longer, she was going to cry. Damn that vodka. She knelt on the floor, taking out a sketchbook she had hid. She flipped through the yellowing pages as she looked at all the sketches she made in freshman year.

Most of them were of Mateo which she found so fucking ironic. All this was ironic. She had rejected him first. But now here he was, basically rejecting her apologies and putting words into her mouth. She never thought he was pathetic. She just was bitter when she came back from London. She could have tried to explain this to him but there was no reasoning with him when he was drunk. And she doubted he would be interested in what he was going to say. Sniffling, she got up throwing the book across the room and moved back to her canvas, picking up her paintbrush again, she continued what she was doing. At some point she had picked back up the wine bottle, occasionally taking large gulps from it. “Fuck it.” She mumbled to herself, trying to chill out. “Fuck it all.” Her paintbrush moved aggressively against the white canvas as if her hand had a mind of it’s own. "How the fuck was I supposed to say anything to you when all you do is talk about how you want to sleep with everyone?" This time, it was directed towards Mateo. "I would have to be insane to think that you actually still had feelings for me. You drive me crazy sometimes and it's not fair for you to blame me for not saying anything like I'm one of your fuck buddies and then say you still like me."

message 15: by rimskur (new)

rimskur | 1470 comments

His hands were stuck on his phone, fingers feeling heavy as dumbbells as he tried to type messages across the keyboard. The words he typed blurred before his eyes, looking like incomprehensible lines and shapes. But his emotions were stirred wildly in ways he couldn’t possibly understand, feeling his pride being hurt and his drive for certain individuals making act a little crazier than usual. It wasn’t fair that the people he sought out who’d been originally so easy to gain affection and attention from before now were the ones holding back the most from him. Mateo grumbled at this, staring down at the screen of his phone in detached panic. Why did he need to have anything with either Roman or Odessa or any of these people? It didn’t matter how he felt - things between him and these others just didn’t work out. Maybe it was the age or different ways of thinking - so far, the person whose company he’d enjoyed the most and didn’t stir shit like this was Arni, the cute nerdy teacher he was fucking. Maybe he should just stick to him.

But then he heard Odessa’s voice coming from the next room, his texts forgotten after some point, and the previous feeling vanished. Whatever might be different about Mateo since his freshman year, his feelings for Odessa had always remained. Perhaps they had dulled throughout the years, but it was always there - the yearning desire for something more with her.

He stood by the entrance to the living room, leaning his shoulder on the wall as she ranted while swiping her paint brush against the canvas. His mouth opened, ready to snap some kind of response, but Mateo realized something then - “You’re right. You’re completely right. I’m sorry, I-I’m not blaming you. I just - I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now with this whole thing going on with - with...” he trailed off, slightly defeated eyes looking down towards the floor. Mateo felt deep shame, skin prickling with nervous energy.

He realized one more thing however from what Odessa had said - “You didn’t say anything about how you felt - or feel about me? Now, I mean. Not - not freshman year...” Mateo was slow and awkward to bring up the right words, feeling terribly exposed in front of her right now.

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