The Love Dare The Love Dare discussion


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message 1: by Bob (new) - rated it 2 stars

Bob I really wanted this book to be different. It started out so well in formulating a prescription for marriage and love that I was very impressed. As a Christian, as a ministry leader and personally, I found the book rewarding and thought others would to.

And then I came to the middle of the book and was greatly disappointed. I came to a sentence "That's why if you're not right with God, you can't truly love your spouse because He is the Source of that love". I stopped and pondered - what does that say to the estimated 50% of Christian marriages that end in divorce? Though the years of the marriage did they not love God because their marriage failed. Are we as a community of faith going to place upon their heads this guilt and shame?

What does that say to the estimated 50% of Non-Christian marriages that last until death and are loving? According to the book they are not. Does that mean they loved God and did not know it. What does that say to other cultures and religions that have good marriages? From all that I know, they love each other. At least from what I know, their love lasted and seemingly was good.

Is this part of the problem that got us into the divorce problem in the first place - wrong spiritual thinking and formulas. I have been around numerous Christian people, good people doing good things whose marriages have failed for one reason or another. They live lives of shame and guilt - which I contend is not of God. Are we so arrogant to believe we have the right formulas?

Just in case you wondering, I have been married for 22 years. It has not always been perfect, nor has it been horrible. I welcome your thoughts.

Bob


message 2: by Julia (new)

Julia Bob wrote: "I really wanted this book to be different. It started out so well in formulating a prescription for marriage and love that I was very impressed. As a Christian, as a ministry leader and personall..."

Hi Bob - your comment was quite a while ago - so I hope you still get my reply. :) I totally agree with you. My husband and I worked through the book. There are very good principles and it challenges you to concentrate on the other person etc etc, but you're right - in the middle somewhere it got a bit too much. We are also Christians, but definitely more open minded and able to think for ourselves. :)


message 3: by Bob (new) - rated it 2 stars

Bob Julia, thanks for your message. I was taken aback as my wife's name is Julia.

In the Christian community we really do not have answers to the perplexing questions relating to marriage, sexual relations and our faith.


message 4: by Julia (new)

Julia Bob wrote: "Julia, thanks for your message. I was taken aback as my wife's name is Julia.

In the Christian community we really do not have answers to the perplexing questions relating to marriage, sexual..."


Nice people are named Julia. :) Regarding your comment - that is something we can debate till kingdom come!! That's why I like Rob Bell and Donald Miller - they make you think ...


Tamie charbonneau i loved the movie its on my to read list. My husband loved it and he really doens't go to church


*Kashi* interesting, 'cause the movie doesn't have that specific part Bob was talking about. "That's why if you're not right with God, you can't truly love your spouse because He is the Source of that love."
I'm not a Christian anymore but I enjoyed the Movie and the book in that order, it really did help with my Relationship. I try to see the positive aspects of everything in life, you should take what is good and works for you and discard the other aspects. I do Agree that it was too much prosceritism but I enjoyed the book and still recommend it.


message 7: by Natalie (new)

Natalie Bob wrote: "I really wanted this book to be different. It started out so well in formulating a prescription for marriage and love that I was very impressed. As a Christian, as a ministry leader and personall..."

I really agree with you and I'm rather happy I'm not the only person who thought that. I know of Christians who both have lasting marriages and have many ended relationships, but they are all Christians. Whereas, I also know many atheists and some others of different religions who have had lasting marriages that I could only describe as absolute love to have lasted so long. So that line really struck a chord with me because I simply have to disagree about. I'm not sure why it works out that way, but I've seen love and lasting marriage in people who do not have our God. I may not know where it comes from, then. I just know that line doesn't have it right.
On my own personal example, my mother has divorced once before and my father has twice, yet together my mother and father have been married for 21 years now and there's no sign of it ending, they love each other and are best friends. Dad doesn't even go to church, and mom will try to occassionally, but it just doesn't fit the book's formula of "if you're not right with God, you can't truly love your spouse."


message 8: by Julia (new)

Julia i agree natalie!! ;)


message 9: by Bob (new) - rated it 2 stars

Bob Thanks for your post Nathalie. I agree with you.

I read an interesting quote the other day. " A Christian makes a good Atheist and an Atheist Makes a good Christian." I am still contemplating that one.

Julia/Nathalie have you ever heard that marriage was a concept developed because society needed a means to deal with personal property between spouses? I thought marriage was a Biblical concept and tradition.

Bob


message 10: by Natalie (new)

Natalie Bob wrote: "Thanks for your post Nathalie. I agree with you.

I read an interesting quote the other day. " A Christian makes a good Atheist and an Atheist Makes a good Christian." I am still contemplating t..."


I like that quote. I think it has to do with how we interact with each other. They each challenge each other's beliefs, making the other side study into why they believe what they believe. It's really an opposite effect of what is desired, but fits well into how I've seen the debates and arguments over it.

I hadn't heard about that, but it doesn't quite surprise me. I study cultures so I knew that marriage wasn't quite simply God's command. Other cultures were doing similar things way before they knew about God.


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