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Critique Partners and Swaps > beta swap wanted for Paranormal Sci-Fi

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message 1: by Luralee (new)

Luralee | 66 comments Hello. I'm looking for a beta swap for my completed manuscript.

I need general feedback on plot, characterization, what works, what doesn't, etc. I particularly want to know if the plot changes I have made are working. I have done several beta swaps in the past and think I have the hang of it now, though I am probably not the best choice for a first draft.

genre is Sci-Fi (alternative future, time travel, paranormal clones, romantic subplot, not hard Sci-Fi) 100,000 words

A vagrant musician is accused of a crime and only Joya Day stands up for him, even though it means antagonizing the head of the council and risking another visit from the mental health committee.

He could have at least said thank you, but he refuses to even tell her where he came from or anything else about himself.

His reticence drives Joya to dig deeper and find out what he is hiding.

Meanwhile, at a defunct human cloning facility, the only remaining outpost of the musician's world, the last group of clones works tirelessly to repair the timeline and restore history.

If they succeed Joya's world will no longer exist.

I read most genres, no erotica please.
google docs preferred

message 2: by M.L. (new)

M.L. Tishner | 7 comments Hi!
I am open to swap if you'd like. Your story sounds interesting. I have a fantasy/space opera that's 110k words. If you want we can swap a few chapters first to see if we make a good fit.

My address is

For as far back as Rei Ettowa could remember, she was afraid of rabbits. Whenever she saw one of those fluffy creatures, she would be bombarded with images of a great beast with horns and nasty pointy teeth. Her mother, Hotara, always said that Rei must have battled one of those creatures in a previous life. Rei would then roll her eyes.

Only the Gods - the Volocio - could reincarnate.

For most of Rei’s life, she lived in secret as a barmaid on a planet floating on the far reaches of the Tyre star cluster. There she dreamed of doing more with her life: join the Nation in the civil war against the Dominion, fall in love, avenge her brother, or at least just get off this damned planet.

In a far and distant future where the people pray to a goddess of lightning or a god of plants and prophecies swirl of their reincarnation for a final battle against tyranny, Rei clings to her faith and its stories as a source of comfort in her small and mundane village. But what starts out as a pilgrimage to the religious capital, becomes an adventure that reveals more about Rei than she bargained for, especially when she is suddenly able to channel lightning with her own hands.

message 3: by Luralee (new)

Luralee | 66 comments I emailed you :)

message 4: by M.L. (new)

M.L. Tishner | 7 comments Hi, for some reason - I haven't received the email :-/

message 5: by Luralee (new)

Luralee | 66 comments I’ll try again

message 6: by Kirk (new)

Kirk | 128 comments Hi Luralee (and anyone else reading this),

I'm currently looking for beta swapper and critique partners for my 10K word sci-fi short story, and I came across your post. Here's a (very rough) blurb for my story:

We've all seen movies about brave explorers leaving Earth in search of new homes when the planet becomes uninhabitable. But what those that stay on Earth? What about those that get left behind? My story tackles that question, and follows a father and son as they try to carry on, and as they think about what to do next.

It sounds a little bleak, but hopefully I've made it positive and up-lifting. Anyway, I don't need any critique on the prose, as yet. That includes spelling and grammar issues. Those things can wait until a later draft. I want to get the bones of the story right beforehand. What I need help with now is someone who can pick out any problems with the story's plot, character, and pacing. In return, I'll look out for similar issues with your script.

As for anyone else reading this who happens to be interested, I'm available to beta swap and critique any genre, and a script of any length. I don't really read romance and erotica, as they're not really my cup of tea.

If this sounds up your alley then send me a private message.

I hope to hear from you soon.


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