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Snow Black (Tatarian Aster #1)
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Critique Partners and Swaps > CP needed for Literary Fiction Novel

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message 1: by John (new) - added it

John Jeng | 12 comments Title: Snow Black
Genre: Literary Fiction
Length, Draft, and Language: 134,200 words, Draft #8, English (US)
Seeking: a critique partner who will leave comments describing spontaneous reactions to the text.
Giving back: the same

Logline: “Skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and a heart as black as ebony” aptly describes Juleena Woods, dubbed “Snow Black,” a juvenile delinquent out on parole.

Sub Genre & Keywords: High school, Southern Gothic, Coming of Age, Gentrification, Immigration, Literature, Racism, Social taboos

Known Issues: Possibly too long, not enough verisimilitude
Critique Requested: Continuity, dialectical dialogue (American South, AAVE)

Method of Communication: Word Online and email

Disclaimers (violence, some strong language, implicit sex)


message 2: by James (new)

James | 2 comments John,

I was an alternative high school teacher for many years, and dealt with kids of all kinds, including in a state-operated juvenile detention facility where the typical resident was guilty of multiple felonies. I might have input on some of your versimilitude concerns. However this was all in the state of Washington, so I would be no good for the dialect.

I have a 137k gay historical novel, London, 1770’s. It has been revised and tweaked countless times, and recently copy edited.

issues and questions: Length? Narrator’s diction — too elevated or otherwise unrealistic? Dialogue sufficiently varied among the various characters? Pacing - are there scenes that are unnecessay, or too long, or are not long enough, given their weight in the overall narrative? Can you see everyone and where they are?

discalimers: homosexual content; scenes of attempted sexual abuse, one scene of homosexual sex; public hanging and the pillory.

If this would be of interest, let me know.

James


message 3: by John (new) - added it

John Jeng | 12 comments Thanks for the trigger warning. Yeah, sure, let's swap. Let me guess, the gay character gets the public hanging.

I've been getting spammed by robots lately... could you PM me your contact?

James wrote: "John,

I was an alternative high school teacher for many years, and dealt with kids of all kinds, including in a state-operated juvenile detention facility where the typical resident was guilty of ..."



message 4: by John (new) - added it

John Jeng | 12 comments Oh btw, I have a condition; you have to use Microsoft Word Online, edit in Word.

James wrote: "John,

I was an alternative high school teacher for many years, and dealt with kids of all kinds, including in a state-operated juvenile detention facility where the typical resident was guilty of ..."



message 5: by James (new)

James | 2 comments Hi John,

You're almost right. One of the homosexual characters is hanged, two others get the pillory.

Sorry, I'm fairly new to Goodreads, and tried to email you internally, but failed,

I saw your condition re MS Word Online. Fair enough. I use an older version of MS Word, and am not familiar with the online thing. However, it says it's free to use. Not sure if I would be willing to load my work onto their platform, but would be happy to read yours there, and perhaps when I have used it, I will see the advantages. Always eager to learn new things.

Idk if this will be acceptable to you, and if not, that's okay. You did put your condition out there for all to see.

Thanks,

James


message 6: by John (new) - added it

John Jeng | 12 comments I have Microsoft Office 365, and use Word 2016 for my editing needs.

Just so you know, I have some standards for CPs: Don't be a jerk and don't cut and run. xP

If we read each other's first chapters and feel like the partnership won't work, it behooves the reader to communicate this to the author. Because if the genre or subject is out of one's depth, then no one wins.

Here are some guidelines for your perusal:
https://absolutewrite.com/forums/show...

James wrote: "Hi John,

You're almost right. One of the homosexual characters is hanged, two others get the pillory.

Sorry, I'm fairly new to Goodreads, and tried to email you internally, but failed,

I saw yo..."



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