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The Leprechaun"Hey mister."
I lowered my gaze and found myself staring into the green eyes of a Leprechaun.
"Do you want to buy this magic jug? It endlessly refills itself."
He demonstrated by pouring out glass after glass of delicious red wine. I drank until I could drink no more. Incredibly, the jug was still half full... same as it'd been when he'd started pouring.
"Five pounds and it's yours," he said.
"I don't think so," I slurred.
I turned and stumbled away. Did the daft little Irishman think he was going to sell me something that was always half empty?
Mod
I caught this over on Drablr.com. Nice drabble...and worthy of a vote :)
Mod
Nice one...as always Ken!
Drablr wrote: "Ken wrote: "The LeprechaunNice one...as always Ken!"
Thank you, from me and the little green man.
Evil Deeds Quota
Dobbin: Arznach, you're the most stupidest demon that hell has ever produced. When was the last time you went on a wickedly good killing spree? 1979?
Arznach: Yea, so? I got sidetracked in the 80's during the heavy metal years. You know I like my metal. Besides when was the last time you done anything evil?
Dobbin: Uh, excuse me? Two nights ago. That was me that killed that nun. Remember?
Arznach: Big Bad Mister Evil. Scaring nuns and stealing granny panties. How will I ever compete? You have less blood on your hands than an anemic double handed amputee.
Dobbin: Arznach, you're the most stupidest demon that hell has ever produced. When was the last time you went on a wickedly good killing spree? 1979?
Arznach: Yea, so? I got sidetracked in the 80's during the heavy metal years. You know I like my metal. Besides when was the last time you done anything evil?
Dobbin: Uh, excuse me? Two nights ago. That was me that killed that nun. Remember?
Arznach: Big Bad Mister Evil. Scaring nuns and stealing granny panties. How will I ever compete? You have less blood on your hands than an anemic double handed amputee.
Rodindeadpan wrote: "Evil Deeds Quota"Nice one... ah yes, those wonderful heavy metal years.
Charlie and Jack
"Sure is quiet," Charlie said.
They stopped and listened. It was quiet. Not an insect buzzed, not a bird chirped, not even a leaf rustled. Never has such a peaceful and serene moment ever been so absolutely filled with terror. The boys were taking tiny steps while leaning onto each other. Both were expecting the unexpected.
"What is there to be scared of," Jack asked.
"I don't know but I sure am scared of it," Charlie replied.
Still they went on.
After what seemed liked the rest of eternity but was really only like three minutes and nineteen seconds....nothing happened.
"Sure is quiet," Charlie said.
They stopped and listened. It was quiet. Not an insect buzzed, not a bird chirped, not even a leaf rustled. Never has such a peaceful and serene moment ever been so absolutely filled with terror. The boys were taking tiny steps while leaning onto each other. Both were expecting the unexpected.
"What is there to be scared of," Jack asked.
"I don't know but I sure am scared of it," Charlie replied.
Still they went on.
After what seemed liked the rest of eternity but was really only like three minutes and nineteen seconds....nothing happened.
Bog BodyBe our King they'd said. Cool I thought!
It seemed like the perfect job. I'd get the best food, clothing, wine, the best women! All I had to do was take care of the people, take care of the land.
Keep everyone safe, don't let anything bad happen. Don't let the crops to fail. How hard could it be?
Then there was the procession. Heading out over the corduroy road. It still rained, that never ending bloody rain.
Immortality they'd told me.
[4000 years later Cashel Man was pulled from the bog]
...the elders certainly weren't lying about the immortality.
http://drablr.com/michael/drabble/bt8/bog-body
Homo Fon ( A Fairy Story)
The ferries wine four wore. Tis thyme fore the vial Profit too bee over throne. The thyme is hear two right ay knew history four they're kind. Never again too flea the tyranny butt too sale the sees and sore the skies as free ferries. Sew fourth onward verses the evilness they must go two urn there piece. His retched sole will know longer reek havoc. Ay small army has Ben mustard and the coo begins.
Why wore ewe ax. The callus ruler has band all blew Jim sax and kneed now bee died read. Wears the pried. The pane.
The ferries wine four wore. Tis thyme fore the vial Profit too bee over throne. The thyme is hear two right ay knew history four they're kind. Never again too flea the tyranny butt too sale the sees and sore the skies as free ferries. Sew fourth onward verses the evilness they must go two urn there piece. His retched sole will know longer reek havoc. Ay small army has Ben mustard and the coo begins.
Why wore ewe ax. The callus ruler has band all blew Jim sax and kneed now bee died read. Wears the pried. The pane.
School MazeAugust nights. The dread, the dream, the dizzying moment of sudden wakefulness.
The dark halls and creaking stairways of the high school are coils, twisted knots that lead nowhere. How will she find her classroom? Will she be late? Of course she will and the students will be left unattended!
"Ms. Dust," blasts the the loud speaker. "Report to your classroom, Now!"
She knows she is late, but what to do? Walking, ascending and descending, she hears the laughter of both students and other teachers.
That loud speaker, "Dust, Dust, Dist, Dint, Ding, Ding,Ding!"
It's the first day of school.
Lady Hand
Henry has two hands. His right hand is rough and calloused. Henry's left hand is his lady hand and it's soft, well-lotioned and a pleasure to masturbate with. Well to make a long story short...One day Henry was assaulted by the "Birmingham Axe Murderer" and we all know the "Birmingham Axe Murderer" takes the left hand of his victims as a prize. Henry put up a good fight - with his right hand (his left hand is only for masturbating) but alas he died. Now Henry's lady hand has a new owner and it's still a pleasure to masturbate with.
Henry has two hands. His right hand is rough and calloused. Henry's left hand is his lady hand and it's soft, well-lotioned and a pleasure to masturbate with. Well to make a long story short...One day Henry was assaulted by the "Birmingham Axe Murderer" and we all know the "Birmingham Axe Murderer" takes the left hand of his victims as a prize. Henry put up a good fight - with his right hand (his left hand is only for masturbating) but alas he died. Now Henry's lady hand has a new owner and it's still a pleasure to masturbate with.
Go Go Lusus Naturae
My favourite song is Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult. I have a club foot but that's alright, I can kick a football real far. I have a lazy left eye but it matches my right eye perfectly. I have 54 teeth so I'm always smiling. When I'm lying on the floor at night trying to sleep, I sometimes wish I had a friend... a friend other than my parasitic sibling. I shouldn't say that because we have fun doing our puppet show. I hope Santa knows I'm living in this abandoned house and doesn't pass me by again this year.
My favourite song is Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult. I have a club foot but that's alright, I can kick a football real far. I have a lazy left eye but it matches my right eye perfectly. I have 54 teeth so I'm always smiling. When I'm lying on the floor at night trying to sleep, I sometimes wish I had a friend... a friend other than my parasitic sibling. I shouldn't say that because we have fun doing our puppet show. I hope Santa knows I'm living in this abandoned house and doesn't pass me by again this year.
Horrorshow
I met Horrorshow when we were cellmates at Nolgate State Prison. Now free, we're murdering partners. I'm more of a "bite 'em on the neck, rip out the jugular" type guy while Horrorshow is a "bludgeon them with a cricket bat and let the mortician try to piece them back together" type guy.
Well anyway, Horrorshow has gotten bored with me and now has me tied down to this table (except for my writing hand here). He's been dissecting me and eating me. A spleen for breakfast and he just cut out my kidney for lunch. Smells like pie...YUM, YUM.
I met Horrorshow when we were cellmates at Nolgate State Prison. Now free, we're murdering partners. I'm more of a "bite 'em on the neck, rip out the jugular" type guy while Horrorshow is a "bludgeon them with a cricket bat and let the mortician try to piece them back together" type guy.
Well anyway, Horrorshow has gotten bored with me and now has me tied down to this table (except for my writing hand here). He's been dissecting me and eating me. A spleen for breakfast and he just cut out my kidney for lunch. Smells like pie...YUM, YUM.
Magic Ain't Just For WizardsMagic ain’t just for wizards. Anyone who can read can peruse a scroll. Own a measuring jug and have access to a flame? Make a potion. What’s the big deal?
I’ve been experimenting on my own for years now. Admittedly I have some scars. Mainly from when the cat grew twelve times its normal size and took revenge for the time I locked it out in the rain for eating that bacon.
And I wouldn’t call my limp a scar. I’m proud I turned my left leg into a toaster. I like toast. So yeah. Magic ain’t just for wizards.
She saw him standing just outside the lamp post's circumference of light leaning against the building corner in a dark alley. Leather jacket, white t-shirt, blue jeans and black boots. A faint smile and a slight head nod as he makes eye contact. His gaze hypnotic, her gait automatic. She crosses the deserted street in the dead of night. The corners of his mouth curve upward in delight as she nears. On his lip she sees a perfect drop of still wet blood. I'll live forever just like in my romance novels she thinks to herself. Next morning - another statistic