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Authors Seeking FREE Betas > Completed Novel (~160,000 words)/YA/fantasy/sci-fi

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message 1: by Ryan (last edited Jul 28, 2014 10:17AM) (new)

Ryan Troske | 55 comments Hello all,
I recently finished writing my first book of a planned series and am looking for some readers outside of friends and family to get some true feedback and constructive criticism.

The book is titled "Supernaturals-The Rising" and is a 160,000 word young adult/fantasy/sci-fi piece set in the United States. If you like X-men, Heroes, Percy Jackson, and other similar works then I think you would enjoy this piece.

Ethan Myers is just your typical high school teen. One consumed with sports, music, and a girl he's infatuated with. That is until he suffers a horrific car accident and realizes he's developed some kind of super powers. He soon discovers there are others like him, groups of supernaturals, but which is the right one for him? Ethan struggles to find the truth behind who these people are and wonders what he's gotten himself into. Who will he stand alongside, who will he fight with? And when the opportunity arises to go back to a normal life, one without powers and his new friends, will he take it?

I don't want to reveal too much and it's a bit difficult to give a short summary when there's so much involved. But anyway, if you're interested in giving my book a run-through please leave a comment or email me at ryantroske@gmail.com I'd certainly appreciate any help.


message 2: by Kelsey (new)

Kelsey (kelsey_simon) | 103 comments That's kinda scary long for a YA


message 3: by Ryan (new)

Ryan Troske | 55 comments Most of the Harry Potter books are longer than that.


message 4: by Kelsey (last edited Jul 29, 2014 08:53AM) (new)

Kelsey (kelsey_simon) | 103 comments Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - 76,944
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - 85,141
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - 107,253
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - 190,637
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - 257,045
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - 168,923
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - 198,227

How long is her first book? Way way way under your word count. Once you have a solid book that establishes the story and characters (mind you she had three books published within reasonable word count before she went crazy with words) and at that point she was known, harry potter was known and she was selling books like hot cakes.

There's a reason that word counts are what they are, and sure there might be an exception here and there(I'd say like .00000001% chance for an unestablished writer), but you have to be boom bang slamming hats off amazing to get this anywhere with that word count.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

If you don't understand this I'd look at you MS and show you where u can cut, but I'd be aggressive about ripping out chunks cause I know what the word count is and you got about 60,000+ words to cut.


message 5: by Ryan (new)

Ryan Troske | 55 comments Yes the first books are shorter but when she started they were also geared more towards children, so of course they'd be shorter. There's plenty of long books out there, longer than mine. A good story shouldn't be confined by some word count. In your opinion it may be too long, (even though you know nothing about how the story goes), but in the end it's just that . . . an opinion.


message 6: by Kelsey (last edited Jul 29, 2014 09:01AM) (new)

Kelsey (kelsey_simon) | 103 comments MM... It's not though. That's the thing. If you are going to self publish, then you won't have a problem. But if you are going to try to send this to agents at this length, you won't get any response. Send it out. See.

This isn't something I'm just saying cause I can. I'm not trying to pick a fight with you or get you upset, I'm telling you what I've read and heard from agents and from published writers. It sucks, but it won't get picked up at this word count.

The sad part is, if you can't at least acknowledge that it's absurdly long in comparison, then you'll have a hard time seeing and making other changes that probably need to happen to make this a great book.


message 7: by Kelsey (last edited Jul 29, 2014 09:17AM) (new)

Kelsey (kelsey_simon) | 103 comments I'll grant you, after doing some research, there are two exceptions. Eragon and Inkheart. Inkheart though, she had many books published before Inkheart. Eragon might be your one hope to grasp on to.

I'd still cut it down. One example is not good for your chances. And my offer still stands. I'll look at it, and I'm very very thorough. But chances are you've got things to cut and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.


message 8: by Kelsey (new)

Kelsey (kelsey_simon) | 103 comments BTW, while doing my own research for a novel I'm working on about WC I came across this site. Check it out. This is exactly the point I was trying to make and here it is on a Writers Digest post by someone who knows what they're talking about.

http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-b...

He does bring up a point I didn't think of, you might just have more than one book here in this total, and you haven't realized u need to split it up yet.


message 9: by Lola (new)

Lola (leemcb) | 10 comments Kelsey wrote: "BTW, while doing my own research for a novel I'm working on about WC I came across this site. Check it out. This is exactly the point I was trying to make and here it is on a Writers Digest post by..."

Kelsey, you are a very patient and considerate person. He should take you up on your offer. ;-)


message 10: by Miracle (new)

Miracle | 12 comments I sure liked Inkheart. Anyway, if I saw this book on a shelf, I'd snap it up, but I'm pretty sure most people I know would take a pass. I think you should split this into two books, but if you want to try sending it out first, go ahead! ~Mira


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