The Humour Club discussion

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Fun Stuff > Quirky Quotes

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message 1: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Ever since Adam asked Eve, "Honey, what's for dinner?", people have liked reading and repeating ye olde humorous quotation. Post 'em if you got 'em.

I'll start off with:

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.
Dean Martin


message 2: by Jay (last edited Apr 30, 2018 11:53AM) (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Bertrand Russell 03


Thanks, Bert. You're always so damn optimistic, but frankly I prefer
a slightly different philosophy .


message 3: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
I always liked this one, and found it again on Yahooey's Blog :


Kurt Vonnegut 01


message 4: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
I just loved this one!


The plural of anecdote is not data.
Jeremy D. Mayer
Associate Professor
George Mason University


message 5: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
I can believe that.


Steven Wright 01


message 6: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 2420 comments Mod
Jay wrote: "I just loved this one!


The plural of anecdote is not data.
Jeremy D. Mayer
Associate Professor
George Mason University"

Man, how often have I had to point that out to people? (I'm trying to get the right joke in here about my experience proving that people are ignorant... something like that. Please fill in the blanks as my mind seems to have quit on me).


message 7: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
See what $400\hour gets you:


Quote - Larry Brown


message 8: by Joel (new)

Joel Bresler | 1548 comments Mod
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
-Hunter S. Thompson


message 9: by Ken (new)

Ken Magee | 14 comments To sell something you have to someone who wants it, that's not business. But to sell something you don't have to someone who doesn't want it, that's business. Leo Rosten


message 10: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Gotta love Betty!

Betty White


message 11: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
One of those "Truths for the Ages"...


George Carlin 01


message 12: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Everyone should study Basic English.


Gore Vidal 01


message 13: by Guy (new)

Guy Portman (guyportman) | 348 comments Jay wrote: "One of those "Truths for the Ages"...


"


Great quote. I hadn't heard that one before.


message 14: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Likely the origin of the 'Captain Obvious' legend.


Air Force Manual 01


message 15: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Jimmy Carter 01


message 16: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
FINALLY, someone explains it.


No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book.
Edgar Watson Howe


message 17: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
quote 01-09-19


message 18: by Martin (last edited Jan 10, 2019 07:11AM) (new)

Martin (oldfossil) | 353 comments Mod
Jay wrote: ""

Yes, that sums it up well.

Many years ago a regular contributor to the Financial Times newspaper wrote: "If only politicians and economists just talked about the things they fully understood - the silence would be wonderful."


message 19: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Seems sensible to me...


quirky quotes 01-30-19


message 20: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Thoughts a 07


message 21: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
John Wayne 01


For The Record: John Wayne died in 1979, ergo this is not a commentary on the Trump presidency. Regarding Trump, The Duke is simply rolling over in his grave like lots of others.


message 22: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Please take note: There may be a better plan than your 401K.


Phyllis Diller 01


message 23: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
It's also something kept until you find someone willing to listen.


Quotes 03-11-19


message 24: by Gary (new)

Gary Jones (gfjones_dvm) | 123 comments Martin wrote: "Jay wrote: ""

Yes, that sums it up well.

Many years ago a regular contributor to the Financial Times newspaper wrote: "If only politicians and economists just talked about the things they fully u..."


Or as John Kenneth Galbraith said, "If you laid all agricultural economists end to end, it would be a good thing."


message 25: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Doug Stanhope 01


message 26: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Quirky Quotes 04-02-19


message 27: by Jay (last edited Oct 24, 2019 09:58AM) (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
**
Barney Frank 01


**True, but it's also more socially acceptable to be a horse thief, a bank robber, a drug dealer, a serial killer...


message 28: by Jay (last edited Feb 17, 2020 02:20PM) (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Emo Phillips 01


message 29: by Martin (new)

Martin (oldfossil) | 353 comments Mod
Just posted on a discussion list I subscribe to:

List members might like this quote from the online version of a Brooklyn newspaper about the closing of a marina there:

“It’s a huge loss for Brooklyn,” said a marina tenant, who spoke on the condition of anonymity out of fear of his wife, who doesn’t know he owns a boat.

So that's where all the housekeeping money has been going. Not drugs, gambling, booze or women. They are all less expensive than a boat.


message 30: by Joel (new)

Joel Bresler | 1548 comments Mod
Martin wrote: "Just posted on a discussion list I subscribe to:

List members might like this quote from the online version of a Brooklyn newspaper about the closing of a marina there:

“It’s a huge loss for Broo..."


Been there, done that...


message 31: by Joel (new)

Joel Bresler | 1548 comments Mod
Jay wrote: ""

Lots of great Emo jokes. Like, "I used to think my brain was the most important part of my body. Then I remembered who was telling me that."


message 32: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Joel wrote: "Lots of great Emo jokes. Like, "I used to think my brain was the most important part of my body. Then I remembered who was telling me that.""

Love that one!


message 33: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Not all pundits are created equal.


Chat 02


message 34: by Jay (last edited Mar 19, 2020 09:06AM) (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Does one out of three still qualify?


Jennifer L Armentrout 01


message 35: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod


The right order is covered by that other bestseller, "How To Start an Argument."


message 36: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Why didn't I think of that.




message 37: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Today, this is called "psychiatry".




message 38: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Gotta love Jack!




message 39: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Rodney Dangerfield made a career out of one-liners, eventually owning his own comedy club and starring in a series of Hollywood movies. All hail the one-liner!




message 40: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
There's advice worth Six Million Dollars!




message 41: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Sage advice.




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