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Authors Seeking FREE Betas > Completed fantasy novel 97K

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message 1: by Ariel (last edited Mar 30, 2018 07:08PM) (new)

Ariel | 15 comments Summary:
Seven years ago, Nyra Stein’s magic went out of control and she made a deal with the creature she knows as the Empty-Dark. She has not spoken since that night, and is plagued by broken memories and nightmares of what happened. Now, she is fourteen years old and her ability to do magic has grown beyond what a normal mortal can do.

When the King of Kaidif lost Nyra seven years ago, he drew up plans to create an army of child soldiers. Now he has finally started to Collect them. Elias and Nyra are forced to flee their forest home when news of this collection reach them. Nyra is thrust into a world she doesn’t understand. A world that isn’t ready for a girl who can break or build planets by her will alone.

Elias sees how terrible Nyra’s power has grown the first time when she uses it in attempt to save him after they are caught in a city with the Collection’s soldiers. Afterword, the man who was meant to protect her, begins to fear her awesome power.

Meanwhile, at the edge of the Red Mountains, a creature known only as Master learns of Nyra’s existence and begins to hunt for her. Other ancient powers stir when he makes his move.

When Elias’ rejection of Nyra’s magic causes her to flee him, it puts her into the cross hairs of a larger war she knows nothing about. Elias tries to find her, but he is caught by the trouble from his past and is pulled into an ever deepening spiral of decisions that drive him farther away from the man he wanted to be.

They will both soon learn that not all answers are easy, and sometimes there is no way to escape the truth.

Title: Bluebird
Length: 97,500
Genre: fantasy
Multiple POV

For those who are interested this is what I am looking for:
1) Are there any continuity errors? This goes for both characters and plot. There is a little bit of time jumping in one of the POVs, so this is extra hard for me sometimes.
2) Are there any unnecessary characters, and why?
3) Where is revision needed, and why?
4) And my personal favorite: Does the story make sense from beginning to end. As in, do you understand how we got there?

Please let me know if you are interested. I always begin by sending the first 2-3 chapters to see if we are a good fit.


message 2: by Josh (new)

Josh Henderson | 1 comments I am interested in committing to beta reading Bluebird, and I can be reached at ankhuri@gmail.com. Feel free to contact me anytime.


message 3: by Ariel (new)

Ariel | 15 comments I guess I should be clearer, no one person has to do all the things I mentioned. If you are interested in reading, and there is something that you are good at, let me know.


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