cellar door poa tree discussion

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critique desired > Room for improvement

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message 1: by Stew (last edited Mar 14, 2018 01:44PM) (new)

Stew | 4 comments Drunk but not dead; room for improvement.
Every little thing that gets tossed on the surf is someday put away
For what it's worth, I had a decent chance.

"Drive slow buddy, the cops are ruff", good advise
A riot of light strobes against the blinds, noticing that first, the blazing fire alarm was almost chalked up to dream
"Don't be a little shit," a fly's buzz, "Been bought and sold so low so often its gotta be a come-up!"

Disdain for certain thought patterns is a form of regression; quite practical upfront.
Outrageously overwhelming, phased-out and dated jargon
"Cha-cha-cha, they don't make it the same anymore-ah!" Charisma!

A grisly fascination with worms doesn't make you popular
Maple syrup and the scent of wet pine. Clout.
"Haven't heard from the Patrey-folks in years."

Goosebumps run from the shoulders down
Doubt? Passively controlling your own failure through hesitation.
Eggs or plagues, do both in 3's

Busted tires stacked six-high, asking cash only.
127 hours since last call and the feeling is still here.
Some weeks Friday is the worst.

Charred carpet hung across the panel as if to dry.
No difference in the smells out here
Seedy clods of chemical ash hung about.

Flies on the rotten corpse of a house.
"Jesus Christ..." in a muttered tone is all that any of them can muster.


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

The words flow like a polluted river.


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