College Students! discussion

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message 1: by Silvia (new)

Silvia (silverware) | 436 comments Okay so I have a bit of a good reads pet peeve. I absolutly hate it when someone adds me as a friend on good reads where they have about 5 books listed and about 1000 friends. I just have this alarm in my head that goes: CREEPER!!! Now I understand when you are new to Goodreads you might have 5 books posted, but if you have 1000 friends...Im a little dubious. So I get thuroughly annoyed when these people add me. And even more annoyed when I see that it's a guy that has only girls in their friends list...HELLO CREEPER AGAIN! I like to add people I always see contrbuting to the college students group or people that have a vast variety of books so I can see book preferences and get ideas for reading new books.

So have you guys notices this and do you have any goodread pet peeves of your own?


Ralph Gallagher | 40 comments Yeah I hate that. A lot of teens have joined here and are using it like a social networking site. Goodreaders is for people who like to read! We're not myspace or facebook!!! grumble grumble...


message 3: by Kimberly (new)

Kimberly (kimberlywithat) | 2140 comments Yes! I had one just the other day!I always check someones profile before I except a friend request. (Unless of course I know you from this group) But this guy had about four books listed, and they weren't exactly um... wholesome. lol. Then I looked at his friend list and they were all girls, and he had 600 something friends.


message 4: by Daniel (new)

Daniel | 14 comments It must be different for the girls here. Whenever I receive friend requests and only have 4-5 books listed - it usually means they wrote them - they're authors. Anyways, that's my side.


message 5: by Silvia (new)

Silvia (silverware) | 436 comments Oh yeah that is the other option on the 4-5 books read and 5 billion friends. I would expect published authors to rate and have an opinion on books other then their own. What kind of author only posts their own books? It makes them seem a bit limited. So sorry to re-instate: pet peeve of creepers and authors that only promote their own books and not other literature!

GAH!!!


message 6: by Drew (new)

Drew Hamilton (DrewHamilton) I'm with Daniel, I have gotten a bunch of female friend requests that have been authors. To me that is really tacky.


message 7: by Kimberly (new)

Kimberly (kimberlywithat) | 2140 comments Silvia wrote: "Oh yeah that is the other option on the 4-5 books read and 5 billion friends. I would expect published authors to rate and have an opinion on books other then their own. What kind of author only po..."

I agree! I had author send me a message telling me about his book. BUT he did it after looking through my "read" list and thought I might like it, which I did. It was an excellent book and we might be carrying at my bookstore. But that was because he approached it in a tactful way. And he also had like 300+ books on his own list. Another thing that always creeped me out is when old guys friend request me, like the guy that was 45 that tried to add me, thats only a few years younger than my dad! ick


message 8: by Tami (new)

Tami | 3103 comments Mod
I notice I am getting authors and/or givers from the giveaways I have signed up for trying to add me as a friend. I don't have a couple ick for the authors that have other insights besides their own books, but some of them, you can tell, it is just self promotion.


message 9: by Jacqueline (new)

Jacqueline | 59 comments Yeah I agree, I'm pretty new on here, but right away I got requests from guys, with 0 books and only girls as friends. It was so obviously creepy! But I posted a picture with my fiance and it stopped :)


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

i welcome everyone, thats just me


message 11: by Annie (new)

Annie Hartman (anniebananie) | 242 comments I guess Im guilty of accepting everyone on here because I really only participate in these group discussions and not really any one-on-one sort of conversations. And I hope I have enough books to not be creeper status lol


message 12: by Tahleen (new)

Tahleen I never accept people I don't know, even if they're authors. It really creeps me out. I'm mostly the same way on facebook too.


message 13: by Jamie (The Perpetual Page-Turner), The Founding Bookworm (new)

Jamie (The Perpetual Page-Turner) (perpetualpageturner) | 4407 comments Mod
I discriminate. I won't lie. I accept legit people. If you have zero books and a million friends who mostly are all women..I WILL NOT add you. Why? Because I am here to talk to people about BOOKS (and obviously other things..but firstly books!). Yes..you might argue that you are "new"..however..if you have not taken the time to add your favorite books that you've read/books you want to read but have had the time to add random people you don't know..then i think you are confused and should be on a dating site or a site to make friends..this is goodREADS. We talk about books and make friends through that.

Whew. End of rant. I've just had a load of creepers trying to add me lately.


message 14: by Annie (new)

Annie Hartman (anniebananie) | 242 comments Jamie: I second that.


Abigail (42stitches) | 53 comments Wow, I've never heard of this, or had it happen to me. I get author requests all the time, and other odd requests where I'm not sure where they came form. I always check to make sure we at least have a group in common and some similar reading tastes. I decline about half the requests I get.


message 16: by Wild for Wilde (new)

Wild for Wilde (wildforwilde) | 22 comments I have to friend a lot of people for my job on here and I have definitely run into some creepers... I'm thinking of creating a separate account for work and one that's mine/personal.


message 17: by Kimberly (new)

Kimberly (kimberlywithat) | 2140 comments I have this one guy who has friend requested me probably ten times. He has 21 books, and 341 friends, and they are all girls. It's rather annoying.


message 18: by Wild for Wilde (new)

Wild for Wilde (wildforwilde) | 22 comments that is annoying... is he cute? haha jk!


message 19: by Annie (new)

Annie Hartman (anniebananie) | 242 comments Wild for Wilde wrote: "that is annoying... is he cute? haha jk!"

haha
Goodreads is becoming EHarmony!



message 20: by Wild for Wilde (new)

Wild for Wilde (wildforwilde) | 22 comments that would be so awful if that happened lol


message 21: by Kimberly (new)

Kimberly (kimberlywithat) | 2140 comments Wild for Wilde wrote: "that is annoying... is he cute? haha jk!"

lol, well that's the part that I don't trust. He has his shirt off in his profile picture, and it looks more like a modeling picture than anything. He's probably some dirty old man.


message 22: by Anastasia (new)

Anastasia (spencerafreeman) Kimberly-- lol he has his shirt off? Okay, if that doesn't SCREAM creeper, then I don't know what does. Haha!

I also heavily screen my GR friends... Unless they're from a group I'm in, I usually click the "compare books" button & scan what books they've read. I'm actually considering upping my security by adding a question when people want to friend-request me.
Facebook has gone astray, and I'll be damned if I let that happen to GR!!


Jana at ThatArtsyReaderGirl.com (miss_jana) | 125 comments A creeper just tried to add me today! I didn't know there was a security feature on here that limits who can add you as a friend and who can't. Where's that setting?


message 24: by Jen (new)

Jen (wishesandwanderlust) | 696 comments I think it's under My Account. On the right-hand side, under your picture it says My Account Settings, Privacy, and Challenge Question. Under Challenge Question it says "Ask members a question for them to answer along with their friend request." Then you should be able to put a question that someone has to answer if they want to be your friend, and put a Challenge Answer. I think if they get the question wrong they can't try to add you?


Jana at ThatArtsyReaderGirl.com (miss_jana) | 125 comments Oh, ok. I think they do something similar on MySpace or something. Thanks, I'll look into it!


message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

wait, how do u know its a creeper?


message 27: by Jana at ThatArtsyReaderGirl.com (last edited Nov 02, 2009 11:53PM) (new)

Jana at ThatArtsyReaderGirl.com (miss_jana) | 125 comments There's signs. I look at the kind of books they read, the kind of friends they have, and how active they are. I also look at their profile pictures. Sometimes shirtless men who read only sex books and have a bunch of girls with skanky profile pics try to add me. Basically, you just use your own judgment. :)


message 28: by [deleted user] (new)

i guess, you see it that way, but i dont know and i dont really care, if someone friend requests me i add them, i actually welcome them i am not the type of person to push people away because of their style but thats just me


message 29: by Jana at ThatArtsyReaderGirl.com (last edited Nov 02, 2009 11:59PM) (new)

Jana at ThatArtsyReaderGirl.com (miss_jana) | 125 comments So... that was a tad harsh.

I've come across some scary people online, so I'm more careful than some people. I don't push people away because of their style. I used to befriend everyone and ended up getting bad, disturbing e-mails. I've started being more careful as a result and tend to gravitate towards people who appear to use this as more than just another social networking site. I like to get book recommendations and have compelling conversations. I can't do that with people I have nothing in common with. :)


message 30: by Tahleen (new)

Tahleen Gene, that wasn't very fair. I know you think it doesn't matter, but you must remember you're a guy and it is different for women. We have to be careful because we are often the targets for unsavory characters and tend to be harassed and made extremely uncomfortable.


message 31: by Jamie (The Perpetual Page-Turner), The Founding Bookworm (new)

Jamie (The Perpetual Page-Turner) (perpetualpageturner) | 4407 comments Mod
Jana & Tahleen--I agree on everything you said in regards to the issue. It's not being judgmental or discriminating against people..it's just protecting yourself. And why would you want to be friends with somebody that you have nothing in common with? Especially when those guys have questionable intentions with adding girls.

Gene- I understand you are voicing your opinion and you have every right to do that. However, the manner in which you go about doing so needs to be in a while as not to be attacking a member or making their opinion seem any less. You could have said your opinion without trying to make it sound like you were insulting Jana and acting like she isn't a welcoming person and "pushes people away."

This is not an acceptable way to respond to another member. It took me alot of thought of how to approach this issue but I want it to be known that this group does not tolerate that kind of behavior. Stating your opinion is totally fine but it can be done in a respectful way.


message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

i apologize to jana about the comments that i have stated, the truth is i was not trying to attack anyone, i was simply stating my opinion on the matter but i do apologize for the way i choiced my words


Jana at ThatArtsyReaderGirl.com (miss_jana) | 125 comments Thank you, Gene. :)


message 34: by Jamie (The Perpetual Page-Turner), The Founding Bookworm (new)

Jamie (The Perpetual Page-Turner) (perpetualpageturner) | 4407 comments Mod
Thanks Gene! I really appreciate that. Sorry if I sounded harsh. I just do not want members to feel like they might be "attacked" (for lack of a better word) if they say something. I'm glad that you weren't trying to attack what she said.


message 35: by Wild for Wilde (new)

Wild for Wilde (wildforwilde) | 22 comments 1 luv!


message 36: by Emily (new)

Emily ya watch out for the creepers. Luckily I haven't had too many on here, but when I used to be on myspace I got a request from an average looking guy with a generic sounding name and so i clicked on his pics to see if i actually knew him and there were dozens of pictures of him masterbating. I've also had guys on facebook friend me up to six or seven times even though I didnt know him and kept rejecting him.

I would be very sad if goodreads became like myspace/facebook!!! This is suppose to be about sharing a love of reading, not trying to pick up girls.


message 37: by Wild for Wilde (new)

Wild for Wilde (wildforwilde) | 22 comments Emily wrote: "ya watch out for the creepers. Luckily I haven't had too many on here, but when I used to be on myspace I got a request from an average looking guy with a generic sounding name and so i clicked on ..."

LOL!


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