Girls!?!? discussion

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ImperatriceofGloom | 88 comments If this is an inappropriate joke then tell me and I'll delete it
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What does a fish say when he swims into a wall?

"Dam!"


message 2: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments ha ha ha thats actually kinda funny :D


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

That's HILARIOUS!!!!


ImperatriceofGloom | 88 comments YAY!!

:D


message 5: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments ok get ready 4 a rly cheezy joke that evry1 has prob heard b4 ...:D

what did the boy do when he wanted to see a butterfly?

He threw butter out the window!


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him 20 dollars and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him 40 dollars and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your daddy a great big hug!"



message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

I know. I was laughing by the end.


message 8: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments ha ha ha ha ha
oh i just got it
sry i am rly slow at these things lol
oh ha ha thats funny XD


message 9: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments let me post one..
two boys had found a ten dollar bill and they were arguing over who should have it. They decided that whoever tells the biggest lie gets the cash. A teacher walks into the classroom and asks what's going on and the boys tell him. the teacher replies "You should be ashamed of yourself! When i was your age i didn't even know what a lie was!" The boys immediatly handed over the ten dollar bill to the teacher


message 10: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments lol thx XD


message 11: by [deleted user] (last edited Aug 13, 2009 07:21PM) (new)

this is the world's funniest joke, seriously!

"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

the ahem...laughlab spent years finding that joke!

Runner up

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
Holmes says, "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

the funniest jokes in the world, people!




message 12: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments lol XD i like the second one its rly funny :D
the first one made me kinda sad...lol


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

those what? those jokes? those monkeys? those words?


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”


message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”




message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.


message 17: by [deleted user] (new)

lol, grace. huneeya, that was hilarious! the sherlock holmes one was funny, too.


message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

LOL, THE FIRST ONE WITH THE BABY WAS SOOOOOO FUNNY!


message 19: by [deleted user] (new)

haha


message 20: by [deleted user] (new)

lily isn't here....

@@
__


message 21: by Acacia (new)

Acacia (acaciaa) I apologize for the jokes that are to follow.

Three men walk into a bar.

You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
-----
A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi turns to the priest and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?
-----
Chuck Norris once walked into Mr. T's favorite bar while the latter was inside. The building immediately exploded, because no building can contain that level of awesome.


message 22: by Acacia (new)

Acacia (acaciaa) Haha, I didn't come up with them.


message 23: by Mimi (new)

Mimi Danese (mimsters) | 2 comments **Fox** aka **Dora** wrote: "At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Littl..."


I know Im stupid but I dont get it.


ImperatriceofGloom | 88 comments HAHA!

Those are funny!!!!


message 25: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments deleted user wrote: "A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to ..."

THATS HILARIOUS


message 26: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments Acacia wrote: "I apologize for the jokes that are to follow.

Three men walk into a bar.

You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
-----
A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi turns to the p..."


i dont get that....



message 27: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments the NASA one is hilarious :DDDD
and i thought they were smart...lol


message 28: by [deleted user] (new)

i don't get the jokes either


message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

the NASAone is hilarious i told my friend that the other day we were cracking up!! okay get this one:
(its a blonde joke but im blonde so i can use it)


One day a blonde office worker comes out to the warehouse to walk around. As she is walking she looks up and sees a co-worker hanging upside down from an I-Beam in the ceiling.

She asks "What ARE you doing"?

The co-worker says "I need a few days off but the boss won't let me have them so I'm hanging upside down from this I-Beam acting crazy.

The boss will see me, think I need rest and send me home for a few days".

The blonde says "That won't work...uh ohh...here comes the boss now, you're in for it".

The boss spots the blode looking up and sees the man hanging up there and asks him "Just WHAT do you think you are DOING?!!"

The man says (in a "crazy" voice) I'm a light bulb...I'm a light bulb"

The boss says "Buddy, you need some rest..take the rest of today and tomorrow off and get some sleep".

As he is climbing down he winks at the blonde showing her it worked.

The blonde thinks about this for a moment and starts to follow the man out the door.

The boss asks her "WHERE do you think YOU'RE going?"

The blonde says "I can't work in the dark".
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message 30: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments haha :D
heres anothe blonde one
no offense to blondes...i just think theyre funny...no offense

There's a blonde crying in the park, so a guy comes up to her and asks her why she's crying.

blonde: everyone is always making fun of blondes and how stupid they are but im not stupid! and everyone always makes fun of me just because im blonde!

guy: aww, its ok, look there are stupider people than blondes!

so the guy picks a random brunette and says to her: go and see if ur home

the brunette starts to walk away to her house to check..the blonde starts cracking up

blonde: shes so stupid!! i would have just called instead!


message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

lol!! no i dont mind blonde jokes cuz im blonde and im in all AP classes so its nothing personal! i think theyr hilarious!


message 32: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments lol me 2 hi 5!! some r rly lame though..


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

woo! ok heres one its kinda stupid:

so a blonde goes into the doctors office. When the doctor asks her whats wrong, she says "Everything hurts, see watch," She pokes herself in the arm with her right index finger, and goes "ow," then she pokes herself on the cheek and goes "ow," then she pokes herself on the knee and goes "ow! see, everything hurts!"

the doctor stares at her for a minute then pokes her on the knee again. "Does that hurt?" he says. The blonde smiles. "Doctor, you've cured me! It doesn't hurt anymore!" the doctor laughs and says "Miss, I didnt cure you, you have a sprained index finger."

ha ha ha ha ha!!!


message 34: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments thats funny!! :D


message 35: by [deleted user] (new)

i read it in a joke book! i was cracking up even tho it was kinda stupid!!


message 36: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments lol ha ha ya its funny :D


message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

lol



ImperatriceofGloom | 88 comments Blonde jokes are just plain funny!!

I don't think anyone should take offense to them. I'm blonde, so I have the right to use blonde jokes. But when I tell them everyone looks at me kinda weird.

:D


message 39: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments lol theres this blonde female dog at our skool(no offense - its not caz shes blonde) and she takes SO much insult at blonde jokes shes like einstein could have been blonde!


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 346 comments OMG!! these blonde jokes are HILLLArious!!!!!!!!


message 41: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments lol :)


ImperatriceofGloom | 88 comments Probably everyone has heard this one, but I laugh at it like an idiot every time I hear it.

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever!




message 43: by [deleted user] (new)

HA HA HA thats hilarious!!!

hmmmm....does that make me a dog???
lol ttly kidding i love blonde jokes!


message 44: by [deleted user] (new)

HA HA ME TOOOOO lol i love blondes most of my friends are blondes and they are in ap classes


message 45: by [deleted user] (new)

ya.....im actually, like, the only smart blonde, all the others are the total epitome of dumb blonde!! lol but we love them anyway! sometimes when im really stupid tho my mom tells me my blonde is showing!!


message 46: by [deleted user] (new)

lol thts nice catherine


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 346 comments I need more!!!!LOL!


message 48: by ♫Huneeya♥ (new)

♫Huneeya♥ | 737 comments Catherine wrote: "ya.....im actually, like, the only smart blonde, all the others are the total epitome of dumb blonde!! lol but we love them anyway! sometimes when im really stupid tho my mom tells me my blonde is ..."

thats hilarious! lol XD


message 49: by [deleted user] (new)

hee hee yes i knw :D
what do u need ruby?


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 346 comments Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax."

Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"

Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"




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