Nina Markus has lived her life like anyone else, goes to school, has friends and family and enjoys it. The only problem is that she is not like everyone else. Every year she has to hide a terrible secret that almost rips her apart knowing that one day everyone will know.
A room filled with balloons, cards, and people sitting in chairs as a girl about 15 lay in bed. Her eyes shut closed. She took slow, but steady breaths.Hi, I am Nina Markus, I am fifteen. I was born on the 31st of October. As I lay here still alive, there is story I would like to tell you before I die. Let me begin about a year ago; I was fourteen going onto fifteen in about a week. It was almost Halloween.I walked down the hallway and towards my locker. I wore my favorite hat as my long brown hair ran down to the middle of my back. I also wore my brown cowboy boots, and a plaid blouse and a stylish knee high skirt. “Nina!” Casey called me over as she waved at me. We all started high school about a month ago.“Hi, Casey, Nico, and Jannett. What is up?” “Well, we, I mean I, was wondering what you were going to be for Halloween,” Nico asked me. To tell you the truth, I have been friends with them since kindergarten, and they always forget that my birthday is on Halloween. “I have not decided yet,” I told them while opening the locker. “Do you know what you are going to be?” I took out my books for my next class.“Nico and Jannett are going to Salt and Pepper shakers. I am going to be a witch.” Casey answered me.I was in the processes of closing my locker when my heart started to slow. I took slow and steady deep breaths, I did have a chip inside me, but one day I was going to get it. “Nina, are you okay?” Janet asked me.“Yeah, I am fine.” I then started to head to my English class. Okay, I did not tell my friends yet, but ever since I was born, I had been sick. It is like this, the doctors said that there is no cure, but I doubt that. Anyways, I have to take so much medication and only have to do it at night and in the morning and at noon.
Why do I even go back to the same person over and over again no matter how many times we fight? Not physically, but emotionally. The problem is that I love her and I don't know what to do. Most times I cannot hold myself back from ignoring the fact that the fight was useless. I don't know what to do now. Every night I cry myself to sleep, thinking what it would be like if different events played out that did not affect the outcome of having a fight.
Was scrolling through shows that arrived on Netflix and just found a show that many years ago (when I was younger), I read the books for. I don't know if I should happy or questioning why there is an animation of the books.
Update: I am watching it and liking it so far eventhough it is the first episode.
Update: One day left until I leave. Still pumped as ever!
It is weird to think that it has been three years since I have posted on here. I am not sure why I stopped. I guess there was nothing to say or put into my diary/ journal. I think this year I might actually do a post a day. I will see what I can do, but I guess this the best of how I can come back and continue. Now that I think of it, I might put down any thoughts I have and see where this will take me. I wish I could say 'wish me luck' but I guess I need all I can to finally come back. For right now there is nothing I can say, but maybe see you tomorrow.
Goodmorning, afternoon, and evening. I still cannot believe that the journal has been sitting here for three years. I am going to try to post a day so here is day 2. If end up doing two comments on here, I might do one in the morning and one in the evening. So here is the morning one. Not much is happening except going to work, so the second post will be when I get home (and eat dinner, of course). I have been thinking and wondering if I could just put my thoughts down during the day (with the app) and see where that will take me. Anyways, have to go so let's do this thing!
Well the day has been going well. Over where I am the weather is gorgeous! I am so happy that it is a lot better than the last two days. Two days ago we got snow and rain in the same day. I am not fully complaining, but it is spring and where I am, we will take any weather as it is 'somewhat' acceptable. Anyways, I won't be able to go outside and enjoy the sun as I can only look outside and hope I do step outside for a bit.
It is wierd to reread what I had put into this topic and think that I did an update of a trip I did. That was crazy. Now that I think of it, I am not sure if I can compare.
Have you ever had a moment or day where your brain fritz out and freezes on you? Well I have and it is the most annoying thing ever.
Okay well I am finally home. Today was an amazing day. Already had dinner and dessert and now it is time to relax since it is not bedtime yet. I might actually write a bit, just the question is go to one of my books or write some poems.
So the last few hours were a waste. I wish I could say that I had accomplished a few things (ex writing), but I can truthfully say that I procrastinated this whole time. As for what I am currently doing, jamming out to song from a soundtrack of a show I am currently watching. It is an Asian drama called Ashes of Love. The link to the song is down below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpan9...
So I just noticed that I have 40 comments (plus this one = 41) and 50 views on this topic, I wonder how long it will take before I can either catch up and keep with the views or catch up and pass the views. This seems like a good challenge for me. I might actually see if this will work. Now the question is how long it will take? Can I do it? I think so. Alright, challenge accepted!
Since this is the best place to rant, I am going to do so. A few days ago I have texted my fiance and was checking in with them to make sure they are still alive (this is how we interact since we only a few towns away), anyways, when they responded they had let me know that they were in the hospital for a number of days. Apparently, they were passed out on the bedroom floor. Right now they are at home resting and I am trying my best to pray for them. All I can do right now is try and be there for them, but when they say it is fine, (ex to go and visit them at their home), they insisted that I be 'myself'. I truly love them and I am praying for them. Is this the best I can do? I have a car and I have the capability to drive to their home since I know where they live but is that the best option? I work and go home every day except two days a week where I am off, but I have the urge to go and visit. Should I? If anything happens to them, I will be distraught as they are a big chunk of my world. I am so conflicted with what to do that all I am able to do right now is contemplate and make a decision. I do not want to sit here and do nothing. I want to really be there for them.
When you are supposed to be a responsible adult and go to bed, but you are up and refreshing a page on Goodreads. *Sigh* Well going to bed seems like a good option but staying up is a good idea, right? Prove me wrong.
Good morning, afternoon, and evening! It is another glorious morning! As far as whether or not I am able to keep making 'entries' every day, I think I can do this. I commented yesterday morning that I was able to do this and the funny thing is that later that day, I wrote another comment that maybe I might not be able to, but THEN last night I did at least three comments on here proving myself wrong. I do believe in myself and can get one out every morning (and hopefully) every night. I do have work today so I might or might not be able to get a few out during the day (Maybe some random thoughts in my head). We will see. Well, that is it for now. I must go devour some food and get ready for work. I might be able to stop by a certain place and get an iced coffee. I will see what I can do. Alright, that is it. Bye!
When you are feeding your cat and you are unable to find one of the cans and them you go to your parents and they tell you that it was behind a few things. *Sigh*
So before work I plan to stop by a place that has iced coffee and an iced latte. I need to decide before I go. I wish I could spin, roll a dice or flip a coin or even a way to make this decision with out fully going insane thinking about it. Iced coffee....or.... Iced Latte?.....When I was at work a coworker went on their half and brought me back iced coffee, so now that I am thinking, I will go and the ice coffee.
I made a decision and decided to get the iced coffee. Plus I was able to order it through the mobile app and this feels so weird to have done since I have never ordered online for food.
I don't think I am regretting getting the iced Coffee. I can wait about a few hours and then maybe, but in the current moment, not regretting.
It has been an hour or so and I am still feeling fine. Maybe....
It has been a good number of hours and I can say, I enjoyed the iced coffee.
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