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Authors Seeking FREE Betas > Sci-Fi Beta-will swap

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message 1: by Jonas (new)

Jonas | 19 comments Here is my query, wondering if anyone want to check out ten chapters or so.

Thank you. Will swap.

In the moment that the government can weaponize human’s DNA is when Curtis realizes, it has become everyone’s worst enemy.

It's the year 2162, and as is the tradition, Curtis gets his Annulus on the day he becomes an adult. Created from each person's DNA in the shape of an octahedron, the Annulus holds everyone’s spiritual and biometrical codes. It's a pivotal moment, but Curtis' joy is short lived, because as soon as he steps out of the Annulus center he witnesses a robbery. The thief steals vital information that exposes everyone’s top secret Annulus location.

This triggers the loyalty and motivation the Foundation has planted in Curtis when he was an embryo in his mother's womb, now he yearns to help the Foundation bring long lasting peace to the people of the region. He immediately enlists to be an Annulus Protector, an elite task force that’s trying to apprehend the thief.

As he tracks the thief, Curtis befriends Elok, an underground assailant, who has illegally enhanced his DNA by manipulating his through the Annulus in order to fight the Foundation. Being a former engineer for the Foundation, Elok reveals that Curtis is the first creation of the Foundation, intertwining Curtis’s fate with the Foundation’s secret plan: To use the Annulus to manipulate everyone’s DNA to create a new race. He faces a decision: catch the thief or sacrifice his life to oppose the power he's trained to protect.

message 2: by Alex (new)

Alex Fromill (alex_fromill) | 5 comments Hi Jonas!

I am interested in beta reading your chapters if you could do the same for me. Know that my manuscript is complete and contains about 95K words. Yikes. But it is a light reading (fantasy/comedy). It's really fun to read. I think. Well, it was fun to write!

If you are interested, let me know here or by email :

message 3: by Bmr1591 (new)

Bmr1591 | 14 comments I think you need to work on that query as well. It's clunky and has a lot of words that are repeated over and over and over again. I'm not an expert at query letters by any means, so I can't offer any helpful suggestions on that end, but I do know it's a bit confusing and clunky. Smooth it out, don't repeat things like Foundation and Annulus as much, and cut out the filler.

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