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MISCELLANEOUS TOPICS > Psychology of Dating

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message 1: by Sagar (new)

Sagar Acharya (acharyasagar) Fellas, could you help me on some books which throw some light on psychology of dating. I'm getting better but still never got through to the relationship phase. Also, I'm in a place where the sex ratio is tremendously high! 9!! So there's some scope for learning here.

Definitive Guide to Body Language was a good one. Helped a lot but still there's some problem with me approaching as a friend and never getting to the dating stuff.


message 2: by B. (new)

B. | 220 comments I would highly recommend the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Not a dating book, but will give you some understanding of the human psyche and some factors that play on it.


message 3: by Lance, Group Founder (new)

Lance Morcan | 2799 comments Well, we did say no topic was off limits when we formed this group...

I guess this could be underground knowledge?


message 4: by Sagar (new)

Sagar Acharya (acharyasagar) Nick wrote: "I would highly recommend the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Not a dating book, but will give you some understanding of the human psyche and some factors that play on it."

Lance wrote: "Well, we did say no topic was off limits when we formed this group...

I guess this could be underground knowledge?"


This is miscellaneous topic Lance. Come on, you gotta allow. I found no other group where I can discuss this.

Will read that book Nick, guess art books would be more appropriate here than science (psychology books)!


message 5: by James, Group Founder (new)

James Morcan | 11225 comments The Underground Dating Agency is imminent by the looks...


message 6: by B. (new)

B. | 220 comments Sagar, I've been out of the dating game for a long time since I am now happily married, but it took me a long time to figure out this most important commandment for dating: Be Yourself!

If someone doesn't appreciate you for all of your flaws and idiosyncrasies as well as for your skills and attributes-move on! No amount of tips and tricks will make her or you happy in the long run. Make a woman laugh, listen to her, don't push too hard, be kind, be courageous, take care of yourself, treat everyone around you with respect(unless they give you reason not to) and hell, it wouldn't hurt to learn how to cook lol . Oh, one more thing- BE YOURSELF!!!!! Haha

Love yourself and the rest will follow!


message 7: by Sagar (new)

Sagar Acharya (acharyasagar) I am myself all the time, but I'm super eccentric and narcissistic. It just that I open up very late even to my friends. About 2 years later, it gets completely comfortable.

Dating is more of a short term game according to me, only then the long term occurs. I'm comfortable interacting with men, but haven't been with many women. I'm way more comfortable now than I was 5 years ago but still there's some leap needed. Read the introduction of the art of seduction, author is a real bad boy man! :D

One of my friend says that you become friends with a girl and there comes a time when you've to flirt really strongly and see for signs and then that dating regime starts. Well, I never get to when to start that flirting moment. I don't know, I think you can sense my rookie nature here.


message 8: by Lance, Group Founder (new)

Lance Morcan | 2799 comments Sagar wrote: "Nick wrote: "I would highly recommend the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Not a dating book, but will give you some understanding of the human psyche and some factors that play on it."

Lance wr..."


Lord give me strength...


message 9: by J. (new)

J. Gowin | 121 comments Never underestimate the value of money and power in the dating scene. How else do you explain Trump's romantic history? His small hands?


message 10: by B. (new)

B. | 220 comments If a woman dates you for money....run!!

Seriously though, as I said before, there are no tricks. There is some one right for you, so date a lot, ask a lot of questions, have fun and relax. It will come when it's right. I've dated many wonderful women, but I was so lucky to meet my wife because she gets me-believe me man, I'm a book/movies/watch collecting/martial arts nerd, but I found common interest with my wife with her profession. She is an attorney and I graduated law school but never practiced....but I asked her a lot of questions about her and we found out her boss was a good friend of my dad and my former employer -if I wasn't interested in her, I may never have found that out. Just drop your defenses, be genuinely curious about her and have fun! Women, well at least the ones you want to end up with, can see right through the tricks! If you say you are a narcissist, then own it and be self deprecating about it. It's all good man....if you want to read a great book, check out What Dreams May Come by Richard Matheson. It's a novel about undying romantic love....it's a beautiful testament to true love and recognizing your soul mate. Enjoy!


message 11: by B. (new)

B. | 220 comments Plus What Dreams May Come is based on philosophy of Harold Percival which many believe to be "underground knowledge"-it's a blend of Hindu and Theosophist beliefs. It's a beautiful and intriguing philosophy that defies common "religious" beliefs.


message 12: by Sagar (new)

Sagar Acharya (acharyasagar) Undying romantic love, soul mate and stuff like that, it all creates fantasy man. It just doesn't happen and also science kind of denies that approach. We respond as a function of our genes, and genes are codes that dynamically behave with their environment which is governed by our environment. I'm getting all scientific here but definitely one of the mistakes which I've done earlier is drift into true love fantasy! Umpteen films in India show that picture just because people love to believe that and it doesn't work. You're true in that aspect that need to drop defenses and talk to many girls until finding one which appreciates my nature!


message 13: by B. (new)

B. | 220 comments I guess my point is, women respond to all of the stuff I listed above...women like romance. Love itself is a psychological and physiological response to certain stimuli, no doubt...but if you focus on love as simple science, women will not respond, I promise. Love also isn't a fantasy if you find the right one-my grandparents, my parents, my brother and his wife and my marriage all have one thing in common....the men in my family all found our best friends and married them...it wasn't easy mind you-I dated a lot....I was bitter, conceited, agitated, frustrated, etc. I turned into a damn bridge troll- that was the mistake. When I took time and started learning things and doing things I'd always wanted to(like travel, learning several different martial arts, learning guitar, etc), I stopped worrying about finding someone and just relaxed(found myself), went with the flow-along the way I met and dated a lot of beautiful women and eventually, like i said-found my amazing wife. She was coming out of a bad relationship and was on the fence about dating, but she told me later that my relaxed attitude,constant kindness, and thoughtfulness towards her finally broke her negativity-I mean dude, she told me she liked to walk down to see the giraffes every day before work (she lived a block from the New Orleans Audubon Zoo and could see them from the street)...so I set up a tour at a wildlife preserve near me where we could actually feed and pet them). I listened and thought of her. Was really straightforward.

My whole thesis isn't that you will magically or immediately fall in love, you just need to get out there( a lot) and just have fun. If you like someone, give them your full attention and just be a good dude and everything else will come.


message 14: by Sagar (new)

Sagar Acharya (acharyasagar) Got it! Just gotta meet a lot of girls then! I don't know if this is appropriate but what similarities and differences do you and your wife have?

Like at some instances where you have say short temper and she bears your strong emotions at the moment so you require some complementary status there and similarities where you feel like can there be anyone cooler than my wife when she speaks your mind out?


message 15: by Lance, Group Founder (new)

Lance Morcan | 2799 comments Yo Sagar - You once famously said, "I found no other group where I can discuss this."

Now why is that I wonder?


message 16: by Tony (new)

Tony Sunderland | 308 comments Nick wrote: "I guess my point is, women respond to all of the stuff I listed above...women like romance. Love itself is a psychological and physiological response to certain stimuli, no doubt...but if you focus..."

Nick, that was beautifully written! Great advise....


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