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Book Suggestions > Gender Violence - Perpetrator's Perspective

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message 1: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Hello, everyone! I hope this post is okay, but just in case it isn't, then please feel free to remove it and accept my apologies.
I am looking for novels dealing with rape and sexual assault, possibly written from the perpetrator's perspective. I would also love it, if you could recommend me any autobiography or biography on the topic. I know it's a harsh topic, so feel free to just ignore this post, if you don't feel like engaging in a conversation.
Thank you and may you have a lovely weekend.


message 3: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Pam wrote: "The Diary of a Rapist: A Novel
Inexcusable"


Thank you so much, Pam!


message 4: by Ross (new)

Ross | 1444 comments Glulia may I ask why you want to read this not judging just curious OSS would seen odd place to look for this sort of material.


message 5: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Ross wrote: "Glulia may I ask why you want to read this not judging just curious OSS would seen odd place to look for this sort of material."

Hello, Ross! I am doing a PhD and my research is leading me towards unknown areas. I thought I might ask here, as being a feminist literary group, Our Shared Shelf has probably an interest in interest in everything that has to do with gender violence and might therefore be able to point me in the right direction. I hope my question was okay and that you have a nice weekend.


message 6: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Meelie wrote: "I've no problem it being here - though my curiosity has struck me - why someone convicted of sex crimes would write a book about it? And who bought the rights to it to publish it?!?

It's one of t..."


Isn't it just crazy, the amount of things that still have to be said about gender violence? I am always so amazed at the small number of literature I can find about it. It is also true that I kind of... let's say, make very specific reading lists. But still, it is so hard to find books about such topics that can give you a real insight.
Also, thank you for allowing me to keep this post here :)


message 7: by Ross (new)

Ross | 1444 comments perhaps your study will uncover why these men write these books and maybe why they find publishers which I also find odd. Bad enough we have fiction full of abuse of women, without real accounts.

That being said we have to study this behavior to deal with it. Best of luck with your thesis.


message 8: by Susan (new)

Susan (susanconder) | 2 comments I think this is an interesting topic, because when you think of the statistics of women who are victims of sexual violence, that means there is a similar number of men out there who have committed violence. I often wonder about how men who commit sexual violence see themselves. Do they feel guilty? Do they ever reflect on what they've done? Have they changed?

I also think that perpetrators are the key to ending gender violence. We need to be having conversations with them so that we can develop interventions to stop violence. Teaching women how NOT to get raped doesn't work. We need to teach men not to commit rape.


message 9: by Ana, Our Shared Shelf Moderator (new)

Ana PF | 746 comments Mod
Soooo, I know this is not the same as what you originally asked, Giulia, but to me it's kinda there. You could try and read The Incest Diary, by an anonimous woman who endured the abuse of her father since she was three, with said abuse turning into an abusive sexual relationship that lasted for 18 years. As you can imagine, lots of mixed feelings and thoughts thrown in there, although I haven't read it myself because I think it's more than I can stomach (I fully recognise the potential use of such a book being around, though!).
I think Susan has a valid point. I will acknowledge that if I think of such acts and their perpetrators my mind is way too occupied with the common thoughts of disgust and repulse. I think the reflection on these men needs to be a very careful one, so as not to find ourselves justificating their crimes, even unvoluntarily so. Redemption...I wonder if such is available to people like that. If I have to be honest, I don't think so. But I would welcome any research / debate / etc. that would help eradicate abuse and assault.


message 10: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Ross wrote: "perhaps your study will uncover why these men write these books and maybe why they find publishers which I also find odd. Bad enough we have fiction full of abuse of women, without real accounts.
..."


Thank you so much, Ross!


message 11: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Susan wrote: "I think this is an interesting topic, because when you think of the statistics of women who are victims of sexual violence, that means there is a similar number of men out there who have committed ..."

I so agree with you, Susan. That's my exact point of view. I hope we can achieve dialogue, true dialogue, so that we can finally build a better word for all of us.


message 12: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Meelie wrote: "No problem, Giulia!

I'd be interested to find out what you discover from studying this. Good luck!!"


Thank you so much! I will keep you posted about my findings :)


message 13: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Ana wrote: "Soooo, I know this is not the same as what you originally asked, Giulia, but to me it's kinda there. You could try and read The Incest Diary, by an anonimous woman who endured the abuse of her fath..."

Thank you so much for your comment, Ana! Yes, it is hard to read such reports and to still be able to go beyond the sense of deep sadness that they awake in every reader. I personally hate to read fition that deals with abused women, because most of the time it doesn't lead to a proper development of the plot - it just stays the way it is: a disrespectful account of a fictional abuse. I would like to carry out my research as carefully and as ethically as possible. I just hope we can make good use of any finding.


message 14: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments To ayone who showed interest in the topic: after a search in Melbourne's libraries I came up with two titles that seem to match what I was looking for. I'll just put them here, so that you can dig deeper into the topic, if you'd like to. Of course I'm always very happy to receive any suggestion. Have a lovely weekend.

"I Will Find You" Joanna Connors
"South of Forgiveness" Thomas Stranger


message 15: by Elsa (new)

Elsa Carrion (ecarrion) | 21 comments Giulia, I agree with you, although the topic is a horrific one, one must overlook and separate our feeling to get to the why of things.

I definitely would love to read why these individuals came to be.

I think your topic is very interesting and would wish you luck on it. Keep us posted on your progress and hope you let us know once you have it done. I would love to read what you gather.


message 16: by MeerderWörter (new)

MeerderWörter | 2388 comments Giulia, it might not fit perfectly into what you look for, but Robert Galbraith's Career of Evil is partially written from a male perpetrator's perspective. It also deals with rape and sexual assault, if my memory serves right.
It's a very well-written book, and while it is the third book in a series, you can still read it without having read the first two books (which are really good in their own way, not that I don't want you to read them as well).

I hope the work on your thesis goes well!


message 17: by Britt (new)

Britt | 123 comments Like everyone else I'm quite baffled by the fact publishers are interested in publishing the perpetrator's perspective, but at the same time lots of disturbing stories are published all the time, so I guess there's an audience for everything...

I see why it could be interesting to "understand" the motives behind an agression and they could definitely help research into ways to mentally "heal" people who commit such terrible acts (if that is even possible).

Like Meelie said, I would love to know more about your research and your findings.

MeerderWörter wrote: "Giulia, it might not fit perfectly into what you look for, but Robert Galbraith's Career of Evil is partially written from a male perpetrator's perspective."

Oooh, I hadn't thought of that one, but yes, it may definitely help your research!


message 18: by MeerderWörter (new)

MeerderWörter | 2388 comments Britt wrote: "Like everyone else I'm quite baffled by the fact publishers are interested in publishing the perpetrator's perspective, but at the same time lots of disturbing stories are published all the time, s..."

I wouldn't use "mentally 'heal'" in this context. To say everyone who is committing a horrible crime is mentally ill is actually pretty sanist.


message 19: by Jeremy (new)

Jeremy Thompson | 62 comments I do some work in sexual assault prevention education. Understanding predators and predation is critical in effective prevention efforts.


message 20: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Elsa wrote: "Giulia, I agree with you, although the topic is a horrific one, one must overlook and separate our feeling to get to the why of things.

I definitely would love to read why these individuals came ..."

Thank you so much for your support, Elsa. So immensely appreciated! :)


message 21: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments MeerderWörter wrote: "Giulia, it might not fit perfectly into what you look for, but Robert Galbraith's Career of Evil is partially written from a male perpetrator's perspective. It also deals with rape and sexual assau..."

Thank you so much! I am definitely going to check on the book. Thank you :)


message 22: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Britt wrote: "Like everyone else I'm quite baffled by the fact publishers are interested in publishing the perpetrator's perspective, but at the same time lots of disturbing stories are published all the time, s..."

Hello, Britt! Thank you so much for your support. So hugely appreciated :)


message 23: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Jeremy wrote: "I do some work in sexual assault prevention education. Understanding predators and predation is critical in effective prevention efforts."

I strongly believe so. And congratulations on the important work you do.


message 24: by Ross (last edited Oct 16, 2017 01:17AM) (new)

Ross | 1444 comments Giulia wrote: "Hello, everyone! I hope this post is okay, but just in case it isn't, then please feel free to remove it and accept my apologies.
I am looking for novels dealing with rape and sexual assault, possi..."


Given recent events, it would seem your work is more timely than ever. Weinstein reaction was typical of such men first the deny them the try humble apology and then revert to type. Is this pattern typical of all abusers or does fame have an effect magnifying the arrogance of already disturbed individuals?

Hollywood has unique problems in other ways the A-list (with notable exceptions) are tempted to use NDR and restricted question list when dealing with journalists as a first resort where other use them with thought and justification. Even so, when used correctly is this not using power structures in the same way as Weinstein himself Did.

This secrecy mechanism used so freely by some worth the cost to women would more openness make what Weinstine did less easy to cover up. Are they for example preventing women even now coming forward to confront their accusers, is Weinstein a throwback to another time or a fact of life for Hollywood?


message 25: by Astrid (new)

Astrid (astridaster) Anna Salter, Predators. Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders


message 26: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Astrid wrote: "Anna Salter, Predators. Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders"

Thank you so much, Anna!


message 27: by Ana Paula (new)

Ana Paula | 14 comments Giulia wrote: "Hello, everyone! I hope this post is okay, but just in case it isn't, then please feel free to remove it and accept my apologies.
I am looking for novels dealing with rape and sexual assault, possi..."


Hi Giulia. I highly recommend "South of Forgiveness: A True Story of Rape and Responsibility" written by Thordis Elva and co-authored by Tom Stranger, who raped her.
Its a really outstanding book. Very emotional read, but I wish everyone would read it because it puts the responsibility where it should be and helps you reflect about the consequences of violence.


message 28: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Ana Paula wrote: "Giulia wrote: "Hello, everyone! I hope this post is okay, but just in case it isn't, then please feel free to remove it and accept my apologies.
I am looking for novels dealing with rape and sexual..."


I started reading it yesterday night! Found it in a public library. Also, for anyone who was interested in "I Will Find You" by Joanna Connors, I'd say the last few chapters with the interviews were quite outstanding.
Thank you for your help, everyone :)


message 29: by Ana Paula (new)

Ana Paula | 14 comments Glad to help!
If you feel like it let us know what you think.
:)


message 30: by Gerd (new)

Gerd | 428 comments Not a topic I'm currently in any emotional state to read about (as if ever), but gonna bookmark the thread for later reference ... maybe, some day.


message 31: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Ana Paula wrote: "Glad to help!
If you feel like it let us know what you think.
:)"


Hello, Ana! I just finished the book and I am writing a review (in Italian) for a blog. I feel like this novel is very, very personal. I believe it was to be published to show everyone that going beyond the labels such as victim and perpetrator is possible. At times I found it rather slow, but I presume it was because the account is made in such a way so that nothing goes missed. I am actually thinking of reading some more by Thordis Elva :)


message 32: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Gerd wrote: "Not a topic I'm currently in any emotional state to read about (as if ever), but gonna bookmark the thread for later reference ... maybe, some day."

You have my unconditional support and understanding.


message 33: by Ana Paula (new)

Ana Paula | 14 comments Giulia wrote: "Ana Paula wrote: "Glad to help!
If you feel like it let us know what you think.
:)"

Hello, Ana! I just finished the book and I am writing a review (in Italian) for a blog. I feel like this novel i..."



Hi Giulia!
I haven’t been very active on OSS these past few months because things have been a bit hectic, but I had been meaning to write you back.
I’m glad to hear that you liked the book. Thordis Elva is definitely inspirational. Was the review you wrote already published on the blog? I would love to read it if you want to share! I speak some Italian, so it’s fine if it’s in Italian.
Xx


message 34: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Hello, Ana! That's so sweet of you. Thank you :)

Sure! I'll post it here. It's the first time I send a link via comment on Goodreads, so I hope it will work. It's two links.

- http://oubliettemagazine.com/2017/11/...
- http://oubliettemagazine.com/2017/11/...

PS Really glad we are now Goodreads friends! Thank you for the add! xx

Ana Paula wrote: "Giulia wrote: "Ana Paula wrote: "Glad to help!
If you feel like it let us know what you think.
:)"

Hello, Ana! I just finished the book and I am writing a review (in Italian) for a blog. I feel li..."



message 35: by Michaela (new)

Michaela (yuvilee) | 124 comments Oh i would also have suggested South of Forgiveness. There us also a very ibteresting and emotional TED talk with Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger, where they talk about their experiences.
Haven't read the book yet, but it has been on my to-read list for a while. Thanks for sharing the review!


message 36: by Giulia (new)

Giulia Mastrantoni (giulia_mastrantoni) | 28 comments Michaela wrote: "Oh i would also have suggested South of Forgiveness. There us also a very ibteresting and emotional TED talk with Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger, where they talk about their experiences.
Haven't rea..."


Oh, I must watch the TED talk, then! I hope it's going to offer an insight on the book :)


message 37: by Ana Paula (new)

Ana Paula | 14 comments Giulia wrote: "Hello, Ana! That's so sweet of you. Thank you :)

Sure! I'll post it here. It's the first time I send a link via comment on Goodreads, so I hope it will work. It's two links.

- http://oubliettemag..."


Hi Giulia! Thanks for sharing the links! I’m also glad we are Goodread friends :)
I really like the articles you wrote! This is such an emotional topic and it so important that we are finally breaking the silence around the issue of sexual violence. It’s really cool that you contacted the authors! And the fact that Tom participates in the discussion helps shift the focus from the victim and irrelevant questions such as “what was she wearing?”, “how much had she had to drink?” to the perpetrator and the questions that really matter such as “what made him feel entitled?”, “how can we change the culture to keep this from happening again?”. You also made a really good point that it is traumatic to be involved in violence even if you are not the victim.
I think this is such an important book and I wish as many people as possible would read it. Having said that, I totally understand anyone who might at moments feel triggered by it and wish to avoid the topic as much as possible. That is totally normal and ok too!
Hope everything is well with you in Melbourne!
Xxx


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