Snarking LKH discussion

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message 1: by EA (new)

EA Solinas (easolinas) | 15 comments Mod
And go!


message 2: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments Seems fitting to kick this off with one of her signature ironic retweets:

“If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin. IVAN TURGENEV”

Now tell me again how the desk isn’t facing the right direction, the tea isn’t the right brand or temperature, and the cat’s in the way.


message 3: by Bridget (new)

Bridget | 25 comments LaLa has never had any self-awareness.


message 4: by Alyssa (new)

Alyssa | 44 comments So, the other day Hamilton posted that people shouldn't politicize things.
Then today she retweets this:
"Dr: You have cancer
Person: what we can we do?
Dr: Whoa I don't think now is the time to talk "medicine"
Person: But
Dr: Thoughts & Prayers"
Her cognitive dissonance is amazing.

She also posted this: "And we are doing our part by adopting two rescue cats that never go outside except on harness. #savewildlife #RescueCats"
They must have gotten a second cat. So, three dogs, two cats, a lizard (that Hamilton was super excited about for a few days and hasn't mentioned since), and lots of fish. Am I missing anything?


message 5: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments I don’t know how big her house is, but Jesus that’s a lot. 4 people (sometimes 5 if Trin visits) + 6 pets + indoor fish tank + koi pond outside? I’ve got a decent sized house and an acre of backyard but the one week I had a friend’s 3 dogs staying here with my 2 drove me bonkers.

And I’m assuming they’ll be travelling with the menagerie to the tropics by the end of the month or so, which doesn’t give the new kitty much time to adjust to his/her place in the family. Just getting two cats to get along nicely can take weeks let alone doing that with the distractions of the dogs.

As for politicizing…all I can think is that her original stance didn’t garner her many back pats, so she’ll try its opposite.


message 6: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments Ironic retweet of the day:

“Porn is not sex education. Porn is not real sex. It’s filmed to look good, not to feel good.”

But remember, folks – she doesn’t write porn. Sure.


message 7: by Bridget (new)

Bridget | 25 comments LaLa is the queen of cognitive dissonance. Her leack of self-awareness is stunning. I feel sorry for the kitties.


message 8: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments She has a new instagram out with a photo of Eomer on top of her car: https://www.instagram.com/p/BZ4c1eqAUV7/

"Taking the three dogs and cat to my office this morning got complicated when our cat, Eomer, decided he'd go adventuring. Nothing hides like a cat, or so I'm learning. Eventually he let me find him. This is twice we've found him relaxing on top of my mustang, nicknamed, the Baby. #cars #mustang #catsofinstagram #rescue #rescuecat #pets #officecat #writersofinstagram #writing #lkh #lkhamilton #laurellkhamilton #chipfoose #garage #happythoughts #thursday #animals #funnycat"

Guess she still has the muscle car after all. But she should have learned by now to keep the door to the garage closed and to always look for the cat before opening the door. And why does she have to take the pets to the office? Maybe it's me, but I just leave my office door open. If my pup wants to join me and hang out on his dog bed next to my desk, he's welcome to do so but he doesn't have to.


message 9: by Alice (new)

Alice (lunarsiren) | 4 comments She's always done her "best work" with animals in the office. I honestly can't believe she still has that car; I thought it went away a long time ago. I remember when all of that went down and she was learning stick to impress her "bodyguard"


message 10: by Jessie (new)

Jessie (origami76) | 13 comments Perhaps she would write better if 3 dogs and a cat weren't trapped in her office? My pets would always be constantly wondering what was going on in the rest of the house.


message 11: by scaredicat (new)

scaredicat | 8 comments MaeNena wrote: "She has a new instagram out with a photo of Eomer on top of her car: https://www.instagram.com/p/BZ4c1eqAUV7/

"Taking the three dogs and cat to my office this morning got complicated when our cat,..."



I thought the car was something fancier than a Mustang. Something she had trouble driving? Cute cat...


message 12: by Bitchie (new)

Bitchie (matron) scaredicat wrote: "MaeNena wrote: "She has a new instagram out with a photo of Eomer on top of her car: https://www.instagram.com/p/BZ4c1eqAUV7/

"Taking the three dogs and cat to my office this morning got complicat..."


It was some sort of customized Mustang, I think. Because of course she can't even have an "off the rack" car, lol!


message 13: by someClone (new)

someClone | 6 comments Her mustang is a Chip Foose customized Mustang. Basically it has a fancy paint job and rims.

It probably looks like one of these: https://www.google.com/search?q=chip+...


message 14: by scaredicat (new)

scaredicat | 8 comments Huh.


message 15: by Malinda (new)

Malinda Graves | 15 comments MaeNena wrote: "She has a new instagram out with a photo of Eomer on top of her car: https://www.instagram.com/p/BZ4c1eqAUV7/

"Taking the three dogs and cat to my office this morning got complicated when our cat,..."


#Youcouldhavewrittenanentirechapteroutofallthehastags.


message 16: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments Makes me thankful Anita is a technophobe so LKH can't put hashtags in the actual books. Just imagine how Anita would be on Twitter.


message 17: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Abram | 34 comments Its a Foose Mustang, fancy paint job and wheels and most likely a tweeked engine. No idea if anybody is driving that thing still.


message 18: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments New tweet:
“A new word! Thank you! Could it be stretched to say of a person, too, their form, movement, voice, that lets you know someone?” In response to: “Word of the day: “jizz” – the sum or gist of a bird’s characteristics – form, plumage, flight, call – that allows its instant identification.”

I refuse to believe that “jizz” is a new word to a woman constantly mentioning semen in her books.

And a new Instagram with another photo of Eomer on the car:
“Again our cat, Eomer, eluded me on the way to the office. I took the dogs up & came back down to play hunt-the-cat which is apparently just part of cat ownership that no one tells you about. Though I'm beginning to look for him on the cars first. #cat #catsofinstagram #cars #rescue #rescuecat #tuexdocat #blackcat #lkh #lkhamilton #officecat #petsofinstagram #catsoncars #Sunday”

“hunt the cat” is one part of cat cohabitation that EVERYONE will tell you about. Losing the cat in the house, hairballs in your shoes, and meowing at 3am while kitty pounces on you are pretty much what every well trained cat servant teaches the new slaves.


message 19: by Jessie (new)

Jessie (origami76) | 13 comments Her social media posts are just eye rollingly bad.


message 20: by Myst (new)

Myst | 17 comments Hunt the cat usually doesn't include the garage unless you left the door open or have a pet flap installed...


message 21: by Susan (new)

Susan | 2 comments "on top of my mustang, nicknamed, the Baby. " As always, the comma abuse is painful.


message 22: by Duamuteffe (new)

Duamuteffe | 3 comments Oh dear gods - there is going to be an amazing misunderstanding when she tries to work this version of "jizz" into a conversation o_O


message 23: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments New tweets (among a ton of retweets):

“Behind you in my footprint free choir robes.” In response to: “In order for a person to walk all over you, you must first lie down. We teach people how to treat us. So it’s ok to ask for what we need.”
Wait…so Granny and her ex told her what to do and she gave in, but she’s never been walked on? Decide if you want to be a hero or a victim, Laurell.

“So I’m not a bird watcher, I’m a dinosaur watcher? Sounds much more macho. *laughs*.”
Firstly, of course she needs the manly descriptor. Secondly, is it me, or does this sound like this is the first she’s heard that birds are descended from dinosaurs?

“Write about what really interests you, whether it is real things or imaginary things, and nothing else. C.S. LEWIS.”
Yes, we know that the only things that interest her are: sex, wangst, and pissing contests.

“I can sleep in today. My husband & I agreed we would. I can’t sleep, must run or write or DO something! #SaturdayMorning.”
She needs to get Jon to agree that she can sleep in? FFS, I just tell my boyfriend, ‘hey, I’m not getting up early’ and he just shrugs and says, ‘cool, I’ll try not to wake you.’


message 24: by Myst (new)

Myst | 17 comments The dynamics in her house sound really weird...gotta tell everyone you need to use the potty in the middle of the night...gotta "agree" to sleep in...

And why would she say she can sleep in *today* when she's apparently already awake and wants to do something? If you can't sleep, it's best to just get out of the bed and do something quietly until the other person wakes up...otherwise your moving around is going to WAKE THEM UP too.

In the past it sounds like she often wakes up before everyone else, so Jon's convinced her to 'sleep in', but her body knows to wake up at a certain hour. Is Jon trying to break her bad habits in some way...try something new etc?


message 25: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments New tweet: “I’m very different from the person I was in my early twenties, just like Anita. She’s nearly a decade older than the first book.” In response to: “I fell in love w/ the AB series, but I really hope that Anita’ll get rid of someone. She’s totally different from the 1st book.”

Okay, but this person didn’t ask about you. They were talking about Anita. Try not to be so transparent that you and your MC are one and the same in your mind.

Btw, the comments include: “Honestly I adore you but what killed it for me is when it took endless pages to safely take a shower in the Circus which is the stronghold- Yet they just ran off alone to have sex in an unsecured hotel room in another country with enemies actively against them.”


message 26: by Alyssa (new)

Alyssa | 44 comments How Anita ages is always amusing. She doesn't age a year for books, and then suddenly she's thirty.


message 27: by Diane (new)

Diane | 6 comments This is the cat's way of laughing at her for still being afraid to drive The Baby.


message 28: by Alice (new)

Alice (lunarsiren) | 4 comments Nearly a decade older? I thought Anita wasn't aging at all. Could you imagine the horror that old age would bring? She couldn't wear heels or lift weights or wear short-short skirts as business casual or...
Wait, was this about Anita or LKH?


message 29: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments We have a title for the 2018 book: Serpentine.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BbR_qHfhYHw/

I can't be the only one thinking of Melanie and the Lamia, right?


message 30: by Myst (new)

Myst | 17 comments I was thinking of the process she's going through to get it published.

Not a straight 1 draft shot, she's been getting turned left & right trying to make her mess publishable.

But snake shifters or the lamia might be making a re-appearance...for 2 chapters.


message 31: by Malinda (new)

Malinda Graves | 15 comments MaeNena wrote: "We have a title for the 2018 book: Serpentine.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BbR_qHfhYHw/

I can't be the only one thinking of Melanie and the Lamia, right?"

I doubt she remembers the lamia, if it makes an appearance it will be because someone reminded her about it. But, really, when have her titles & plots of her recent books ever had much of a connection?


message 32: by Hollie (new)

Hollie Ginoza | 24 comments She's gonna screw a male Lamia.


message 33: by MaeNena (last edited Nov 09, 2017 12:55PM) (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments My guess is she’ll introduce weresnakes as if for the very first time…having completely forgotten about the weresnakes in NiC or the Lamia.


message 34: by Alyssa (new)

Alyssa | 44 comments At least it is better than some of the other more recent books, aka Kiss the Dead, Flirt, Dead Ice, etc.


message 35: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Prough (deprough) | 14 comments Maybe "the Serpentine" is a new sex position (that she ripped off from another series or culture). That'll be the entire plot: her doing it vaguely over and over with harem members until we all go mad.


message 36: by Patchwork Cat (new)

Patchwork Cat | 1 comments Is this the UK book? As in the Serpentine lake/river?


message 37: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments Last I heard, this book was set at home and the next was to be in England. But this is LKH, so who the hell knows which way her Muse blows.


message 38: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments New tweets:
“Call someone else & make sure they can see it, too. If they can’t, I’ve finally had my psychotic break. If they can, then call 911, & check news. Arm myself & enter sacred space for prayer & magical solutions, but be prepared to find out if dragons are bulletproof.” In response to Christopher Paolini asking what you would do if you woke up and saw a giant dragon towering over your city.

Mind you, the photo shows a dragon taller than skyscrapers and longer than a mile, so….sure, your 9mm will kill it. Smh.

“Laurell K. Hamilton Retweeted Sean Hannity. I’m drinking their coffee right now. They’re part of my creative fuel for making book deadlines. #BlackRifleCoffee”

She’s following Sean Hannity now? She’s also retweeted Dana Loesch. If she wants to go right wing, go for it. But I hope she realizes that right wingers will hate her for being a poly bisexual pagan. Just loving her guns isn’t enough.


message 39: by Alyssa (new)

Alyssa | 44 comments And she's retweeting Hannity at a time when he's in hot water with even his own audience for saying that Moore's sex with a 14 year-old was okay because it was consensual.


message 40: by Maryam (new)

Maryam | 17 comments Dawn wrote: "Maybe "the Serpentine" is a new sex position (that she ripped off from another series or culture). That'll be the entire plot: her doing it vaguely over and over with harem members until we all go ..."

That's what I though of immediately, too, although she never mentioned it from the England trip. Nor is this supposed to be the English book, so far as I remember.


message 41: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments New tweets (among a metric tonne of retweets):

“#qotn House rules don’t change just because there’s an apocalypse.”

“If I didn’t work from home; yeah.” In response to: “I’ve been at the office so long that the cleaning ladies just came around with jello shots.”

“Peppermint hot chocolate, peppermint mocha creamer, and peppermint whipped cream. My girlfriend @MsMistoffelees has the best ideas.”

She’s also been tweeting and retweeting Neil Gaiman quite a bit. She seems to do that more when she’s on deadline. Maybe his work ethic inspires her to get her shit done? Or she’s just trying to suck up to him by showing that she’s working so hard, yo.


message 42: by Maryam (new)

Maryam | 17 comments MaeNena wrote: "New tweets (among a metric tonne of retweets):

“#qotn House rules don’t change just because there’s an apocalypse.”

“If I didn’t work from home; yeah.” In response to: “I’ve been at the office so..."


I always assume that the Gaiman tweets and retweets are to attract his attention and approval and to make her sound as though she's just as hardworking as he is.

Peppermint everything sounds like overkill to me, but it's just another "my girlfriend is so wonderful" thing.


message 43: by Maryam (new)

Maryam | 17 comments Alyssa wrote: "And she's retweeting Hannity at a time when he's in hot water with even his own audience for saying that Moore's sex with a 14 year-old was okay because it was consensual."

I haven't followed all the Moore stories closely, but I didn't have the impression that any of the women involved were talking about its being consensual. Even if it was at least nominally so, he was more than twice the age of a minor.

I'm glad to see that the women who accused Trump are insisting that their cases should be heard and not forgotten. Women have been reporting about Trump's behavior for over 30 years, and he's bragged about how many of them couldn't get away from his grabbing, kissing, and fondling-yet women voted for him.


message 44: by Alyssa (new)

Alyssa | 44 comments "I always assume that the Gaiman tweets and retweets are to attract his attention and approval and to make her sound as though she's just as hardworking as he is.
Peppermint everything sounds like overkill to me, but it's just another "my girlfriend is so wonderful" thing."

Agreed on just wanting to get Gaiman's attention. Maybe she believes that if he pays attention to her, she'll magically develop his skills and get his sales numbers. Of course, she probably already believes that she's just as good as he is, if not better.
Now, contrast Hamilton's behavior with Gaiman with Billy Martin (formerly Poppy Z Brite). Martin is actually friends with Gaiman, as in, Gaiman visits Martin, and he helped orchestrate Stephen King's buying one of Martin's original manuscripts. Martin is a big King fan, and was thrilled.

We should count down how long it takes Hamilton to complain about how work is getting in the way of her gym time since it sounds like she's drinking a whole bunch of calories.


message 45: by Alyssa (new)

Alyssa | 44 comments "I haven't followed all the Moore stories closely, but I didn't have the impression that any of the women involved were talking about its being consensual."
No, it wasn't phrased as consensual. Hannity has done an about-face on that since advertisers started pulling out of his show.


message 46: by Bridget (new)

Bridget | 25 comments it's also more, "I have a girlfriend BTW. Aren't I edgy??? Tee-hee, tee-hee."


message 47: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments Alyssa wrote: We should count down how long it takes Hamilton to complain about how work is getting in the way of her gym time since it sounds like she's drinking a whole bunch of calories. "

She does this every time. Gobbles down the calories while on deadline, then goes nuts at the gym for a couple months, then injures herself to the point of having to avoid the gym in favor of seeing a physical therapist. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I'll admit to adding more sugar to my diet while on deadline too, but not to her extent.


message 48: by MaeNena (new)

MaeNena | 34 comments Ironic retweet #1: “First requirement of the writer is the ability to concentrate for long periods of time. Second, more urgent requirement, the wish to do so.” JOYCE CAROL OATES.
Do you need me to mention that this is in a flurry of retweets about a zillion different subjects? Didn’t think so.

Ironic retweet #2: “Continued research into human behaviour showing when presented with evidence disproving our current position we are more likely to NOT change our mind on any given issue. Baffling to me but explains a lot.”
Like, say, being told that readers balk at your sex scenes not because they’re too edgy but because they’re too repetitive and boring?

Other tweets:
“I’m tired of tea & coffee. What madness is this? Without my creative fuel how will I finish the edits?”

“And this is one of the many reasons I have only one child, who is now in college. Brave you to start over.” In response to Neil Gaiman saying his 2 year old son woke him up and then Neil couldn’t get back to sleep. All this tells me is that LKH resented her kid for waking her up even though a 2 year old can’t exactly help it.

“Back to edits, because deadline is upon me, and I just rewrote this tweet three times. Editing on the brain. #WritingLife”
On the upside that editing seemed to work as this is one of the few tweets she’s put out without spelling errors.


message 49: by AndreaNZ (new)

AndreaNZ | 2 comments She appears to be spending a lot more time on edits than usual. Is there hope for a coherent book?


message 50: by Alyssa (new)

Alyssa | 44 comments AndreaNZ wrote: "She appears to be spending a lot more time on edits than usual. Is there hope for a coherent book?"
Crimson Death had a lot of edits too, and it was still bad. I think if Cindy can keep Hamilton more focused on the plot and less on relationships the book could be better than the previous 15 or so, but that is a very low bar to beat. Her/Anita's nasty attitude and preachiness will still probably be there, even if somewhat muted by edits.


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