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why did rogerson hit her?

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message 1: by Alexus (new) - added it

Alexus was there any reason he hit her? The first night he hit her because she was flirting with another guy(even though it still wasnt ok) but the other time why did he do it?


Rishelle because his father hit him. so growing up he was taught that the only was to express your anger is by hitting the person your anger at. its a terrible cycle that is hard to break. he has no excuse but that is why he did it.


message 3: by Stephanee (new) - added it

Stephanee Whiteley Some people have anger and they don't know who to take it out on or how soo they usually start hitting the person(s) they love most and don't realize it. Its pretty sad if you ask me; for the victim and them


Nevena I think this book does a really good job of showing how hard it is to leave someone you love even if they are abusive


message 5: by S.J (new) - rated it 3 stars

S.J he hit her because he is crazy and needs help. and this is going on in real life. there is NO excuse for it.


message 6: by Sαmαnthα (last edited Aug 18, 2011 07:07PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Sαmαnthα I'm not sure why, but strongly disliked Rogerson.


nine he hit her because he's a butt face...just kidding he was mad at her. And he had issues with his dad.


Julia Dezotell Because his father hit him so he had the urge to hit, and then Catlin was flirting with other guys, and was late or kipping dates.


Miss007 He learned from his father that it was okay to hit someone if there was something he didn't like, just as flirting,late home,friends,no calling... small stuff like that just because his father did that to him too.


message 10: by Christie (new) - added it

Christie He was living what he learned. His father was abusive and that was the only way he knew of to deal with negative emotions. It's been a while since I read this one, and I can't remember if she did something to "set him off" each time or not, but it doesn't matter. It's not o.k. to to hit or be hit, regardless. A person can try to walk a fine line to not set an abuser off, but there will always be times that it's just not enough. The only person that can stop the abuse is the abuser, and I imagine that would take professional help and a lot of work on their part.


message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

It was probably bcuz of his father. That's how Rogerson dealed with his anger. Ya had to guess he was gonna go to jail a somepoint, he was dealing drugs.


message 12: by Kayla (last edited Feb 07, 2013 04:21PM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Kayla I wish they talked more about Rogerson's motives, even though we can guess it was his father. that part was very one dimensional


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

Yeah. It was very vague about that.


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

I think that we should have known Rogersons back round.


kw_pagemaster He hit her because he's been hit and thinks that it's just a normal part of any relationship.


Kiran He hit her because he wnated to feel in control of her, like his parents were of him. He wanted to have the feeling of domination.


message 17: by Zuli (new) - rated it 5 stars

Zuli i think that overall there are A lOT of reasons and it really wasn't her fault it was more of rogerson's personal issues. but overall in my opinion some of the reasons were that well he learned how to express his feeling like that, i also think that he was jealous of her life and the affection everyone mainly her parents gave her.


Emily There could've been a lot of reasons...
1. Caitlin was talking with another male
2. Rogerson's dad hit him - he grew up with that, so now in his mind he is "allowed" to do it. He thinks it's right.
3. He wants complete domination over Caitlin
4. Childhood/backround/issues


Nicole One thing yes Rogerson was abused, but not everyone who is does the same so technically he is just a bad dude.


Sandra =) Even if Rogerson is abused, he has NO excuse to hit her. He [Rogerson] seemed really nice inside (without his ugly dreadlocks, him being a pothead and a very impatient man). He seemed so smart, that's what I liked about him a lot. But when I learned that the guy smokes pot, I was really disappointed. A guy so smart like him should NEVER have done that very stupid thing. He should have use the "abuse" he experienced under his father into good use, and promise himself that he will never in his whole life, would hit anyone, for he knows how hurting them makes them feel. I fell in love with Rogerson ... until I learned he is a pothead and is a hitter. What a waste he turned out to be. Maybe, Sarah Dessen could make another future for Rogerson. A grown-up one who will find the "right girl" for him that will make him back into being a good man. :))


message 21: by L (new) - rated it 3 stars

L Alexus wrote: "was there any reason he hit her? The first night he hit her because she was flirting with another guy(even though it still wasnt ok) but the other time why did he do it?"

Yes! Exactly. :)


Chriselle Did anyone else cry?


Chriselle And perhaps he hit her because it made him more powerful and in control over her, unlike with his father where he was powerless over the pain he felt and the shit he dealt. And not ignoring the fact he was angry, and mentally ill.


Melissa I think that Rogerson , took out the aggression he received from his father . Take as an example the part where Rogersons & his dad have an argument over him being late to a family event in where to end the discussion Rogerson's dad responds by slapping Rogerson . It is my idea that Rogerson had alot of problems in where he was mentally hurt , rogerson probably got into a state where he felt less of a person , so when he had catlin in his hands he in a way jsed her to take out all his anger , knowing that because of her love for him it would be easy for Caitlin to forget it , or just look past the violence in their relationship .


Brenda I think Rogerson hit her, because he had so much frustration. Usually you would never hurt someone you love. You know they will come back to you no matter what happens. So he knows that she would come back to him.


Gemma Brenda wrote: "I think Rogerson hit her, because he had so much frustration. Usually you would never hurt someone you love. You know they will come back to you no matter what happens. So he knows that she would c..."

Rogerson was frustrated, but most of all he was emotionally and physically hurt by his father. His father would hit him and since he was in that abusive environment, he learned to do the same. He once hit her because she was flirting, and other times, he hit her because i think he was drunk and didn't know any better. You said that they'd come back to you no matter what happens, but in this story, Caitlin didn't go back to him. I think he even ended up going to jail.


Maggie Jessica wrote: "I dont think it was his fault, i think he should go to jail for the drugs, but i think they could keep the charge light on the abuse for him, i mean he grew up with it, ya know? &we cant control wh..."

But you can control your actions. It shouldn't matter if you grew up in fricken Hollywood or Harlem , hitting a girl is wrong, no matter what your issues are.


Maggie Brenda wrote: "I think Rogerson hit her, because he had so much frustration. Usually you would never hurt someone you love. You know they will come back to you no matter what happens. So he knows that she would c..."

..... Was this your attempt to be funny? Because no one is laughing. You are absolutely sick and messed up in the mind if you think abuse is funny. Just wait till it happens to you or someone you love. You will not be making jokes about it, it will not be funny or amusing to you then.


Maggie So it makes it okay to hit someone because your high? Wow. That makes so much sense! Thank you for explaining this and for saying that its okay to hit someone because of pot! Wow! You have some intellectual talent if you think this.


Sandra =) @Maggie - Look. I wasn't talking about Rogerson, the pothead guy, being okay with how he treats Caitlin. I was talking about him being under the influence of drugs, which drove him to do things that are COMPLETELY wrong. :)


message 31: by Priscilla (new)

Priscilla Mendoza I think he hits her because he has lived all his life with abuse and I think that you always end up being similar to what your parents have taught you. I mean you grew up in an environment where they don’t appreciate you or they don’t respect you even though he was rich he never had the love of a family especially from his dad. It doesn’t justify that he should or its excused that he hit her. But I think that’s the reason why he is so abusive and doesn’t recognize he needs help.


Michelle he hit her because he knew that she loved him and would stay with him and not tell on him. it was also a way for him to release the anger and hurt he felt when his dad hit him. but in his own sick way he loved her. he let her see a side of him that he never showed anyone. I guess in his mind the thought that hitting her was normal because his dad was abusive towards him. whenever you grow-up in an environment with abuse or that is dysfunctional that becomes the new norm.


Maggie I hate how there are books like this in the ya genre! So he's not an abuser! he is just damaged and he can be saved and love her is basically what everyone is saying.


Michelle Maggie wrote: "I hate how there are books like this in the ya genre! So he's not an abuser! he is just damaged and he can be saved and love her is basically what everyone is saying."

I'm not arguing that he can't be changed. I'm just giving my reasons why I think he was abusive.


message 35: by Zaria (new) - added it

Zaria I was asking myself this question throughout the rest of the book after he first him her. I was really confused because I assumed he would never do something like that since his father did the same to him. I thought Rogerson would know how it felt to be abused and know not to do it to anyone else. But I guess I had it the other way around. Maybe he did it so he could feel impowered for once. So he could be incharge instead of being the victim.
I think ROgerson hit her because he wanted to see if he could. Maybe the first day it was a mistake, but after Caitlin didn't tell, he knew he could get away with it, so he continued to do it.


Angela I guess he just didn't have a real escape from whenever his father would hit him. We must also keep in mind that we was always stoned and was never always fully there. With everything happening with his father and the drugs... I guess he just had major anger issues and didn't know how to take care of it any other way.

He became dependent on Caitlyn for always being there, that he would get mad whenever she wasn't there.

Personally, I would've thought that if he would talk to her about his problems, instead of unleashing his anger in an abusive manner, it would've changed him a bit. Talking about your problems help a lot. That's something that people don't realize.


message 37: by Kelly (last edited Jul 12, 2013 05:09PM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Kelly But that is the thing, "talking" about your problems really is not that easy for some people. Especially when there is already abuse going on.
Rogerson being a guy, who was also dealing with his own issues of abuse in his childhood probably very likely saw "talking" as weak, admitting that that there is something wrong. That he was not always strong enough to stand up to his own abuser-his father when he would hit him.
Yes, it is wrong that he hit Caitlin and he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. But he was also someone who clearly needed help.


message 38: by Zuli (new) - rated it 5 stars

Zuli sarah dessen should make another rogerson book. with his POV.


Maggie It's still not an excuse for someone to hit a girl! So when he gets arrested, do you think if he says "officer, I only hit her because my parents hit me... I can be changed..." That they will listen? No! And he cant be changed. You think someone who used to hit girls can suddenly become a great guy, married with kids. It's not how the universe works. rogerson was a drug dealer from what I remember. In the real world, people like him don't change , they die of an overdose.


message 40: by Zuli (new) - rated it 5 stars

Zuli ohhh yeah he actually did do drugs though.


Shaina Rogerson hits Caitlin because he Dad hits him. It's not an excuse I know, but it's all he's ever known. It's like smoking. If you have a parent that smokes you know it's wrong of course, but it's a casual thing. You're used to it because it's been around you all your life. That's how it is for Rogerson; he knew it was wrong he was just use to it. Or maybe it's because he wanted to see how it felt to hurt someone you love so much like his dad did to him. He knew his dad loved him, but still hurt him repeatedly. Maybe he wanted to see how it felt. It's no excuse I know, but Rogerson was my favorite character in this book. Actually in any book! It sounds crazy but I feel in love with him. I feel like he wasn't all that bad, and that he just needed help and love. Something people wouldn't even think about giving him based on his actions. But that's all he wanted. TO be loved.


Shaina Chriselle wrote: "Did anyone else cry?"

I cried for three hours after reading this book, and many days after.


Shaina Angela wrote: "I guess he just didn't have a real escape from whenever his father would hit him. We must also keep in mind that we was always stoned and was never always fully there. With everything happening wit..."

I agree!


Shaina Zuli wrote: "sarah dessen should make another rogerson book. with his POV."

That's what I said!! I met her and asked and she said she doesn't write sequels.


message 45: by Passion (new) - added it

Passion Writer Rishelle wrote: "because his father hit him. so growing up he was taught that the only was to express your anger is by hitting the person your anger at. its a terrible cycle that is hard to break. he has no excuse ..."

I agree


message 46: by Emma (last edited Jul 21, 2014 07:44PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Emma It had nothing to do with Caitlin. It wasn't her fault in any way. There was nothing she could have done differently to change it. That's very important to know. My father was super critical of me. He would point out everything I did wrong. He could be very cruel. I hated it. I swore I would never be like him. And for the most part I'm not. I'm very critical of myself, but much more relaxed on other people. But that is because I'm constantly working on it. It's not easy. And sometimes I slip. When I do get critical of others, those times I slip, it's not because of them. It's just that I let my guard down and say things I regret. Anyway, my point is, our upbringing impacts us far more than we realize. And when you have been abused in your childhood, sometimes you never learn healthy ways to deal with emotions like frustration or anger. I think Rogerson never learned healthy ways to deal with his anger and jealousy. That doesn't make his actions okay because at some point it is a choice, but he's just a very flawed person who needs help and compassion. An upbringing like his is so hard to overcome. He needs therapy to heal from his abusive childhood and counselling to learn healthy ways to deal with his emotions. It's something he would have to work on everyday of his life.


message 47: by Emma (new) - rated it 2 stars

Emma Maggie wrote: "And he cant be changed. You think someone who used to hit girls can suddenly become a great guy, married with kids. It's not how the universe works. rogerson was a drug dealer from what I remember. In the real world, people like him don't change , they die of an overdose."

That's absolutely not true. It would be hard but with the right help and the desire to change an abuser can stop abusing others. The problem comes when the victim thinks they can be the one to change the abuser. That would never work. And I know plenty of alcoholics and drug addicts who have been clean for a long time. My mom included.


Dawyn.S. Hunter YOU KNOW WHY? cause hes a SHUCK FACE IDIOT WHO I WANTED TO BEAT UP SOOO BADLY UUHH he made me so ANGRY


Kelly He [Rogerson] hit her because he had been abused his whole life. I agree with previous comments that more of his background would have helped in determining what set him off. I also fell in love with him at some point in the book and then he smoked pot and hit her and that was a major turn off, I actually almost stopped reading the book because I was disappointed with that turn of events but I'm really glad I read it. It was still a great book!


Maddie This book is terribly wonderful. I love the ending so so much! Made me tear up a bit. I think I agree with one of the other comments. His dad whipped him, so he was taught that's it is alright to hit people. It is an acceptable punishment. That's how Rogerson grew up.


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