Fans of Eloisa James & Julia Quinn discussion

Monday Puzzler > Monday Puzzler - Jul 3, 2017

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message 1: by Cheri (last edited Jul 03, 2017 06:58PM) (new)

Cheri (cvenable16) | 134 comments Sorry so late! I've been sick (much better now :) ) and completely forgot it was my turn.

First stop was a boutique with a French name and staffed by extremely thin young women with slicked-back hair and lots of eye shadow. Hero picked out a Michael Kors silk racerback tank top from the first display table he saw and handed it to Heroine.

“You would be a knockout in this,” he said.

She held the tank out in front of her for inspection. Simple, stylish, and practical. Perfect for a relaxing lunch, a brisk walk on the beach, or hand-to-hand combat.

“I like it,” she said, “but it’s four hundred seventy-five dollars. I can get a tank top for twenty-five dollars at T.J. Maxx.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Yeah, one is reasonably priced and the other is insane.”

Hero took three of the tank tops from the table and handed them to the salesgirl, who was lucky she didn’t tip over, since the combined weight of the garments was probably greater than her own. “We’ll take these.”

“No, we won’t,” Heroine said.

“You need those clothes.”

“Fine, but we’ll get them at T.J. Maxx.”

Hero pulled her aside out of earshot of the salesgirl. “No, we won’t. You need designer clothes, shoes, and accessories to instantly sell your cover to anyone who lays eyes on you. If you stroll off the plane in Bali wearing three grand worth of clothes and dragging a Louis Vuitton bag behind you like a gunnysack in a country where the average monthly wage is less than fifty dollars, you will do that.”

“This is so totally wrong,” Heroine said.

“Obviously you opted out of the honey trap class when you were in SEAL boot camp.”

“It conflicted with the one on nose breaking and eye gouging.” Hero added a $900 red silk sarong dress and an $800 cashmere T-shirt and handed the salesgirl his credit card. “We’ll take all these.”

From there they went to a store that featured clothes by Hervé Léger, a label Hero chose for Heroine because their fashions would perfectly accentuate her toned body. And because the store served their customers Dom Pérignon champagne in Baccarat crystal flutes.

Heroine liked the champagne, but she was skeptical about the clothes.

“Try this on,” Hero said, selecting a royal blue bandage dress.

“I don’t think so,” Heroine said. “I can’t see myself in this.”

“Just try it.”

Heroine belted back some champagne and marched off to the dressing room. She shimmied into the sleeveless, skintight dress, with its plunging halterneck and a zipper that followed the contours of her back. She tugged at the bottom of the dress but it instantly rolled back up to mid thigh. Jeez Louise, she thought, how was she ever going to sit in this? For that matter, how was she going to breathe? She looked down at her cleavage and wondered where it had all come from. She’d always thought she had okay but not spectacularly large breasts. The bandage dress had everything squished up and looking like there wasn’t enough bandage to go around, as if her breasts had grown in the last fifteen minutes.

“I can’t wear this,” she said from inside the dressing room. “It’s too small.”

“Let’s see,” Hero said. “Come on out.”

“Get me a bigger size. A lot bigger.”

Hero opened the door and looked in at Heroine. “Whoa,” he said on a gush of air. His pupils dilated to the point where his brown eyes were almost totally black, and Heroine decided the dress must look better than she’d first thought.

“Well?” she asked.

“I think I’m in love,” Hero said. “But then my brain isn’t completely engaged right now. That’s not where the blood is flowing.”

“Too much information,” Heroine said. “It would have been enough to tell me I look okay.”

“Honey, you look a lot better than okay.”

“You don’t think it’s a little slutty?”

“Not at these prices,” Hero said.

By the time they reached the Louis Vuitton store and she paid more for a single Pégase suitcase than she’d spent on her first car, Heroine was sweating and popping Rolaids like they were Life Savers. Their last stop was Neiman Marcus, where they picked up sunglasses and other accessories.

“How many bikinis do you have?” Hero asked.


He grinned. “You swim nude?”

“I do my swimming in the ocean, in a wet suit,” she said. “So I don’t need a bikini.”

“You’re going to need one in Bali,” he said.

“I can’t spend any more money. I’m having an anxiety attack. I can’t feel my fingertips.”

“Fine,” he said. “Leave it to me.”

“You don’t know my measurements.”

“Trust me,” he said. “That’s a tough one.”

message 2: by Manda (new)

Manda Collins (Manda_Collins) | 1637 comments Mod
Glad you're feeling better, Cheri. This one sounds fun but I have no idea what it is.

message 3: by Dls (new)

Dls | 1721 comments Mod
No clue but like Manda I think this sounds fun

message 4: by Leigh-Ayn (new)

Leigh-Ayn | 711 comments Glad you're feeling better!
The book sounds cool! Very entertaining!

message 5: by Janga (new)

Janga | 1070 comments Mod
Clever. But I don't think I've read it.

message 6: by Nicole (new)

Nicole (nikanne) | 190 comments Not a clue but sounds good.

message 7: by Cheri (new)

Cheri (cvenable16) | 134 comments This week's answer is The Heist by Janet Evanovich. It's the first in the Fox and O'Hare series. There are a couple of short story prequels as well. I discovered this one by accident by getting the audio for a long car ride recently and ended up getting the sequels on my Kindle. They are fast paced and fun!

message 8: by Nicole (new)

Nicole (nikanne) | 190 comments I actually read this in December. I loved this entire series. I can't believe I didn't recognize it!

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The Heist (other topics)

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Janet Evanovich (other topics)