¡ POETRY ! discussion

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message 1: by Lou (new)

Lou Fun House

Living in a house of mirrors has pitfalls
For the guise is only useful part-time
The curtain has fallen
My show has ended
Forcing me into the depths of nothingness
Until the curtain rises once more
Each act improvised
The show lives for the audience
Changes for the audience
For the show is judged
By the audience
Of a thousand reflections of myself
Refracting on that stage


message 2: by Dave (new)

Dave | 382 comments Very much after my own heart; I have a fascination with mirrors


message 3: by Meagan (new)

Meagan Really cool concept. I feel like this has the potential to really play with the formatting and wordplay. It could be strengthened with a sense of phrases and images creating refracted versions of themselves. Not sure if that makes sense, so please feel free to ask me to clarify and I'll try my best.


message 4: by Dave (new)

Dave | 382 comments This is one of my poems on a related theme:

Let’s Melt Into Our Mirrors

I’ll turn my mirror into yours
Dreaming you dream of me,
and as I see my form set free
See you revealed through me.

Our floodlight gaze absorbed
By our translucent buttons,
As we undo each other.
Our hands riveted
By belt clasps, zips,
Before the breeze,
Limb-manifesting fall.

I want to get behind your eyes,
Feel your desires:
Let my shirt melt into your blouse,
Your bra into my singlet,
Our loving eyebeams fuse our briefs
Through deep-held breaths of our desires

Our vision goes light years
Beyond the Internet.

Then let that mirror turn to water
Hiding its reflective power
To us, who fuse and blend,

And through disrobing revelation
Mill edges of androgyny.


message 5: by Lavina (new)

Lavina | 2 comments Laura wrote: "Fun House

Living in a house of mirrors has pitfalls
For the guise is only useful part-time
The curtain has fallen
My show has ended
Forcing me into the depths of nothingness
Until the curtain r..."


I like the juxtaposition of relationships/life being a stage and mirror. The word play is restrained, yet reflects on how the world influences us to recreate it anew.


message 6: by Lou (new)

Lou Thank you for your kind words and help, I tried to limit the word play as I feel we cannot really expand into the people we would like to see staring back at ourselves in the mirror as society, even different people keep us in little boxes, little images of who we should be and how we should act depending on the person/situation.
I can honestly say though I am not very clued up on poetic techniques anyway, but I'm learning slowly haha just gotta keep writing I suppose it's the only way to improve x


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