chin up and we'll drown a little slower; Showing 41,551-41,600 of 46,581

[jay, rip]

okay cool yes there was a mumps vaccine (it’s the same as the chicken pox one) and i got it so i guess i don’t have to worry about that

[jay, rip]

there’s another shot that i should’ve gotten this year that i forgot to go get rip

[jay, rip]

meningitis i think

[jay, rip]

i would go get it but yer boy doesn’t have a primary care doctor

[jay, rip]

bc i no longer see my pediatrician bc apparently you can’t if you’re over 18

[jay, rip]

smh that’s a stupid rule

[jay, rip]

actually it’s not stupid

[jay, rip]

can someone find me a hot boyfriend so we can be gay together

[jay, rip]

you guys know how self diagnosing irks my soul?

[jay, rip]

so apparently one of my cousins got jealous that my brother died of cancer.
so he has a swollen lymph node on his neck and is telling people that it’s the same kind of cancer that my brother died of??

[jay, rip]

1) wtf
2) my brother died of an extremely rare type of lymphoma that only occurs about 1200 times a year in america
3) wtf
4) why
5) WTF

[jay, rip]

why are you jealous of someone who’s dead

[jay, rip]

why are you jealous of someone who had cancer

[jay, rip]

why would you want to pretend to have cancer

[jay, rip]

I don’t know y’all this is a grown ass man too. he’s inhis 40’s and is married with 3 kids,,

[jay, rip]

ok i’m gonna go work out now

[jay, rip]

OH SHIT

[jay, rip]

the exercise equipment is put away in the closer right now, damn it. because the twins were playing on them and could get themselves hurt

[jay, rip]

how tf am i gonna drag an elliptical out of the basement closet right now

[jay, rip]

cries forever

[jay, rip]

okay i’m gonna be brave and i’m gonna go do it

[jay, rip]

maybe tomorrow

[jay, rip]

no you little fucker, do it now

[jay, rip]

but i’m so tired and cold

[jay, rip]

UGHHHHH I HATE MYSELF

[jay, rip]

i hate to be alone in my bed but not as much as i hate that she’s not alone in hers

[jay, rip]

jayson get tf up and go exercise

[jay, rip]

please

[jay, rip]

i’m gonna try intermittent fasting

[jay, rip]

i guess my health kick has officially begun. i did intermittent fasting for 15hrs, worked out for 22 minutes, and weight 162 pounds as of 18 october 2018.

[jay, rip]

to think, when i started this journal i was legit over 60 pounds lighter than now

[jay, rip]

i also ordered a bunch of vitamins from care/of

[jay, rip]

for energy, weight, memory, and stress

[jay, rip]

exercise helps with my anger, maybe it’ll help with the other stuff too

[jay, rip]

i wonder if my PTSD is gonna get bad again bc my brother dying is a trauma

[jay, rip]

wow my third trauma to deal with

[jay, rip]

it’s almost like i’m an expert now

[jay, rip]

jay wrote: "wow my third trauma to deal with"

4th if you count someone else that technically sent me spiraling bc Traumatic Af but i don’t let her have that much power over me tbh 🤷‍♂️

[jay, rip]

jay wrote: "it’s almost like i’m an expert now"

achievement unlocked: deal with third outbreak of PTSD

[jay, rip]

people with dark skin give me life ok

not just like african dark, i’m including carribean dark, indian dark, navajo dark, arabic dark... all of the above, mate

[jay, rip]

y’all give me life and you’re fucking gorgeous

[jay, rip]

me @ every human ever: you’re gorgeous and perfect and i probably have a crush on you uwu

[jay, rip]

is exercise considered self care?

[jay, rip]

“Anyone who has lived through it, or those who are now living through it, knows that caring about an addict is as complex and fraught and debilitating as addiction itself. At my worst, I even resented Nic because an addict, at least when high, has a momentary respite from his suffering. There is no similar relief for parents or children or husbands or wives or others who love them.“

[jay, rip]

sigh

[jay, rip]

drugs are not self care unless they’re prescription

[jay, rip]

ok jayson: no new clothes until you lose 30 pounds uwu

[jay, rip]

lmfao great motivation am i right

[jay, rip]

i want this class to start so it can be over quicker

[jay, rip]

pls