What's the Name of That Book??? discussion

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Suggest books for me > Nonfiction books for dealing with toxic mothers?

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message 1: by Raevyn (last edited Jun 25, 2017 04:14AM) (new)

Raevyn Oswald Maybe this is too personal, but I really want/need to read a nonfiction book about having an estranged, toxic mother. It should be available in physical format (if it's absolutely exceptional. I might consider an ebook as a last resort). Not too graphic or adult--I'm a teenager, and I like my books to be somewhat clean.
:)


message 2: by Heather (new)

Heather | 169 comments This book isn't specifically about mothers, but if it's the one I think it is (since I read it over 20 years ago, and I don't have my copy with me where I am at the moment), it might help. Toxic People: 10 Ways Of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable I feel for you. I've been there, and done that.


message 3: by Deanne (new)

Deanne Devine | 116 comments If you are looking for a memoir, then maybe Mommy Dearest, by Christina Crawford? I can't find it on GoodReads, but here is the Amazon link: Mommy Dearest.
I haven't read it, so I can't speak for its quality, but it is about an unhealthy mother/daughter relationship.


message 4: by Rosa (new)

Rosa (RosaIglarsh) | 1847 comments It was pretty bad.


message 5: by Lauren (last edited Jul 17, 2017 09:46PM) (new)

Lauren (LLbookworm95) | 68 comments My Mother the Cheerleader is pretty good. It's historical fiction YA but the mom/daughter relationship is interesting.

I've also heard The Glass Castle is good but I haven't had the chance to read it yet


message 6: by MJ (new)

MJ | 722 comments Maybe not what you're aiming for, but there's a series written by a guy who's mother for some reason he never figured out turned on him as a child. Older and younger siblings were fine, but she abused, neglected and somewhat tortured him for years before he ended up in the foster system... Think there are about 4 books. Covers him from childhood thru adulthood and all the crap that happens throughout. As far as I know, it's a true account.

Dave Pelzer, A Child Called It


message 7: by Aerulan (last edited Jul 17, 2017 11:04PM) (new)

Aerulan | 786 comments Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life Haven't read it, but I've seen it talked about as being excellent and very helpful.

You might also take a look at this list (if you haven't already) for other books worth reading
https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/9...
There's several specifically about mothers, depending on what type of toxic behavior you've dealt with some of them might resonate with you.


message 8: by Christine (new)

Christine | 63 comments Non-fiction: 1) By Karyl McBride PhD... "Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers."
It's supposed to be excellent and I'm looking forward to reading it myself. It's supposed to focus on narcissism in mothers, but that covers a lot of ground, in terms of being a toxic, controlling, or damaging parent.

2) Non-fiction, but not specific to mothers... By Peter A. Levine, PhD. "Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past," subtitled " A Practical Guide for Understanding and Working with Traumatic Memory." Also recommended to me as excellent.

: ) I hope these help!


message 9: by Christine (new)

Christine | 63 comments I cannot recommend Mommy Dearest. It's a tale from the adopted daughter of the actress Joan Crawford. It is supposedly biographical and therefore non-fiction. But it is also violent, disturbing, depressing, disheartening, and negative, especially if you're a teen. I read it as a teen, and I regret it. There was nothing encouraging or helpful to take away from it. Also, it was about celebrities, and did not really pertain to the average person's life.

My advice is to read something positive and helpful, something written by a qualified doctor or researcher or therapist. Something with techniques for coping and for taking care of yourself. (I recommended two books above ^^^ ). Also, to read fiction books with positive mother role models.

Sorry if that's too much advice! Your post struck a chord in my heart. I have a narcissistic, toxic mother. I feel for you!


message 10: by Christine (new)

Christine | 63 comments I just found one more: "Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters" by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier. Sending you (((hugs))) and good wishes!!


message 12: by Deanne (new)

Deanne Devine | 116 comments Christine wrote: "...Sorry if that's too much advice! Your post struck a chord in my heart. I have a narcissistic, toxic mother. I feel for you! "

Not only is it great advice, I am sure the OP appreciates your candor! I shouldn't offer suggestions of books I haven't read - sorry about that:(


message 13: by Rosa (new)

Rosa (RosaIglarsh) | 1847 comments Of course, Christine hasn't read any of the books she recommended, either.


message 14: by Amy (Other Amy) (last edited Jul 26, 2017 12:45PM) (new)

Amy (Other Amy) | 153 comments I am currently reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents and it is really surprisingly good. I'm only half way through, but it has helped me think through a lot of things. It was recommended to me by a therapist I respect. The reading level is not hard and I don't think you would have any difficulty with it.


message 15: by Christine (new)

Christine | 63 comments I did specify that the books I suggested had been recommended to me, but that I had not read them yet. (They were suggested to me by a friend who is also a therapist). Is there a rule that I missed somewhere, saying we can only suggest books that we've personally read? If so, I apologize.


message 16: by Christine (new)

Christine | 63 comments Deanne, I'm sorry if my post about Mommie Dearest was taken personally; I wasn't trying to insult anyone... only to post warnings, similar to "trigger warnings," because that particular book is very, very disturbing.


message 17: by Heather (new)

Heather | 169 comments Christine wrote: "Non-fiction: 1) By Karyl McBride PhD... "Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers."
It's supposed to be excellent and I'm looking forward to reading it myself. It'..."

I started reading it myself as a result of this post, and it does have a lot of good material. The third section requires some actual work on your part, something I need to start doing in addition to the reading. My mom's narcissism wasn't the social snob type the author talks about so much as a religious/how-low-can-I-make-myself-seem-while-controlling-everything type, which was just as damaging as the social snob type.


message 18: by Deanne (new)

Deanne Devine | 116 comments Christine wrote: "Deanne, I'm sorry if my post about Mommie Dearest was taken personally; I wasn't trying to insult anyone... only to post warnings, similar to "trigger warnings," because that particular book is ver..."

Oh, I'm sorry! No, I didn't take it personally, but it did make me think because your post was so thoughtful and compassionate--and appropriate to the OP's request. I have such a tendency to jump the gun when I believe I have an answer that I don't pause to carefully consider the question. So, you actually helped two people with your post!


message 19: by Rosa (new)

Rosa (RosaIglarsh) | 1847 comments Christine wrote: "I did specify that the books I suggested had been recommended to me, but that I had not read them yet. (They were suggested to me by a friend who is also a therapist). Is there a rule that I missed..."

No, there's no rule. I just wanted Deanne to feel less bad about recommending a book she hadn't read. Having them recommended by a therapist is just as good.


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