Young Adult Book Reading Challenges discussion

Lock and Key
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message 1: by Angie, YA lovin mod!! (new) - rated it 5 stars

Angie | 2687 comments Mod
OK so for those who have read the book, or read about half way through you know about the assignment Ruby has to complete. Ruby goes around asking people their definition of family. I thought it might be fun to see the different definitions our group members have. So what is family to you?

Anna Having lived in 4 states and also have spent time in the military I have found family to be a constantly changing group of people. I envision a Venn Diagram--parts of my "tribe" overlap with other parts--family of origin which sometimes overlaps with HS friends or college friends or neighborhood friends; HS friends overlapping with neighboorhood friends (raised in IN, but moved to KS and so have some friends); work friends overlapping with college friends, etc. I also have the parts of family that still impart wisdom to me, but they are no longer available to me (due to death or lost contact) so a second Venn Diagram would involve those that imparted wisdom; hope; encouragement, etc. and have shaped and continue to shape my behavior and character.

message 3: by Angie, YA lovin mod!! (new) - rated it 5 stars

Angie | 2687 comments Mod
I see family as the people who have been with me the longest. Meaning those people who have bothered to try to keep in touch with me. Sending me photos, calling, taking the time to send Christmas cards. I haven't lost anyone close to me to death yet (I dread it) but I know I will always have a place in my heart for them.

message 4: by Mounica (last edited Aug 02, 2009 05:38PM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Mounica | 29 comments No matter how many arguments you have with them, you still love them. It's kind of like how Ruby still cares for her mom even after all the lies she told and all the secrets she kept. And yes, family is the people who are with you the longest, through the good and bad. They are the comfort, the hope, the advice, the encouragement. And family doesn't have to mean the people you are biologically bonded to; your best friend can be your family.

Anna Do you think it is harder to make that "family" connection with friends you make post-HS/college? The oldest ones were with you at the time of all your "firsts" so sometimes for me it is harder to connect with folks not knowing all of their past what shaped their personality. For instance I have a friend who I found out 5 years into our frienship that she and her husband were held at gunpoint during a robbery attempt during the first year of marriage. It wouldn't be something that you would just mention in casual conversation, but it helped understand the sacredness of their relationship.

message 6: by Angie, YA lovin mod!! (new) - rated it 5 stars

Angie | 2687 comments Mod
Yes I do think it is harder to make family connections later in life. You tend to go to less places where you might meet people. Just to work and home. Sometimes I am glad I am married to someone I went to high school with. I know connections can be made with anyone, but when I talk about someone from the past he knows who I am talking about.

message 7: by Anna (last edited Aug 05, 2009 02:51AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna (gqannanguyen) At fourteen, has never moved, known about twenty or thirty people who went to school with me since I was in kindergarten, I also have about 20 cousins and 15 aunts and uncles who all get together EVERY holiday, and has never really been out in the real world, I guess my horizon on the word "family" is fairly limited, but here you go: There are many different kinds of family. Those who you are born in. Those who are born to love you and you are born to love them. You don't have to like them, agree with them, or even want to be in the same room as them, but puzzlingly enough you love them anyway and would lay down your life for them.

And there are the family you create. It could be your best friend for the last five years, the neighbor who always gives you cookies on Christmas, the teacher that you have known since even before you entered school. These are the people you choose to love, and who choose to love you. If they are truly your family then even through distance and time, the love that is held in the memories of your times together can never break the connection.

message 8: by Angie, YA lovin mod!! (new) - rated it 5 stars

Angie | 2687 comments Mod
These are all so good!

Anna Love your definition Maxi! Do you attend a small school so the friends have been the same? My daughter is a 7th grader, but has switched schools and has several friends who have moved out of state so her group is constantly changing. She tends to switch groups depending on the sports season too. Due to all the changes I am not sure who she considers "family"--it was interesting she made a locker collage today and she had pics of her 5th grade friends, 6th grade friends; winter bball team; camp friends; and mom/dad/cousins/cat. Many of the friends live in different states now, but she must still think about them as she went to the trouble of printing the pics for the collage.

message 10: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna (gqannanguyen) Anna wrote: "Love your definition Maxi! Do you attend a small school so the friends have been the same? My daughter is a 7th grader, but has switched schools and has several friends who have moved out of state ..."

Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. No I don't really attend a small school, it's just that for some reason the people who went to my school from elementary through high school and still hadn't moved.

I am amaze at your daughter. It is a special quality to be able to hold so many friends through time in your heart so dearly. I can tell that your daughter is a true friend and the people on her locker are her true friends.

Adriana (msbibliotecaria) | 29 comments I'm jumping in kind of late on the discussion, but I really liked how in the book Ruby got to garner a wide variety of answers to what family is, and that is exactly what I think makes families around the world so great. I know there are members of my family that I don't see eye to eye with, or that I don't see that often, or that I feel don't make an effort to keep up with me. But when it comes down to it family to me is the circle of people that surround you and that you surround yourself with that love you no matter what. They are made up of those who are joined to you by blood and those who are joined to you by choice. I know some come and go, but they also leave an impression, a memory, etc.... I also think family equates to home and the comforts of home - the ability to be yourself. I remember growing up and most of my friends hated spending time with family, especially when they had to, like at Christmas or Thanksgiving. I always looked forward to that, so I felt kind of glad and kind of sad for them. I think maybe now those same friends appreciate their families more. I know I still do.

message 12: by Angie, YA lovin mod!! (new) - rated it 5 stars

Angie | 2687 comments Mod
I love reading all the different point of views... kinda like when Ruby interviewed people for her report. Gathering all the different point of views.

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