*Best Friends 4 Ever* discussion

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I Need Boyfriend Help

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message 1: by Lexi (new)

Lexi Hansen | 2 comments I am having trouble getting the attention of some boys, and not sure if I am doing something wrong. What are some things that you look for in a boy or that your boyfriend has done that made you like them?



message 2: by Jayda (new)

Jayda Kindness, for one. That's a good trait in a boy.

Now, not having a boyfriend honestly isn't something to get upset about :) Why are you so upset that you don't have one? If you explain this it may be easier to help out.

Isn't the whole point of dating to find a life-long-mate/husband? That's why I didn't start dating until I was sixteen (actually, I haven't even started since I just turned sixteen yesterday) and probably won't take my relationships very seriously until I'm eighteen and can actually get married.

Do you have any crushes?
What do you think is the problem?

I'll try to help as best I can :)


message 3: by Lia RaeAnn (new)

Lia RaeAnn (myhappyending) I need some help as sooon as possible. I like this guy. He's the most popular,hottest, and sweetest person ever. He's girlfriend is my best friend.Well, he broke up with her and told my best friend he's thinking about asking me out. I'm not supposed to know but i do. My mom works at the school too. so does his mom. HELP!!!!!!


JustAnotherConverseLovinGurl | 56 comments Dont go out with him.
If he just broke up with ur best friend,
dont go out with him.
That would be horrible for her.


message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

I agree.

I know a guy like that. We all crushed on him in elementary, and in someways he's really nice and funny, but when it comes to dating all his relationships end badly. One of my friends went out with him even though he came with a warning label, they broke up, and they're probably gonna go again, even though she think he likes someone else.
This kinda makes me sad because they're both my friends and I know it's going to end badly, and michelles going to be hurt.

I reccomend ignoring the problem unless he asks you out. If he does, think about it: how much do you like this guy, and is it really worth hurting your friend even more?


message 6: by Sheeky (new)

Sheeky (sheekster) | 642 comments I also have a problemo too, well actually not really. My friend just thinks I'm hot and he has a girlfriend and I like him but he doesn't like me back ANDDDD..............he doesn't know I like him.


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

That's happened to me before... Since he has a girlfriend you should try to ignore your feelings, or at least put up with them. For more than one reason, you'd put your friend in a really akward position if you let him know how you feel. I know it sucks, but your friend isn't likely to dump his gf for you and it's worth saving your friendship with him to deal with it


message 8: by Sheeky (new)

Sheeky (sheekster) | 642 comments Yeah, true.


message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

.... I need help now. I just got off the phone with my friend. You know the two other friends I used as a example before? Apparently Michelle (the girl in the example) thinks he likes me.

This is confusing me on way to many levels because michelle is my friend and alot of other girls are mean to her because she's pretty and gets attention from all the guys. Then the guy I have liked in the past, but bc of how his relationships end I don't really wanna take a chance if he asks me out. Finally, everyone has been trying to get us together for years, sayng how were a perfect couple, etc.

Can someone give me advice on how to sort out the situation?


message 10: by Jayda (new)

Jayda Sorry if you already told us this, but how do his relationships end?

I don't know the whole story, so if you posted it, go ahead and tell me and I'll read it and let you know! :)


message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

Usually he doesn't even like the girl but goes out with her anyway (this happened with my friend michelle) then after awhile he'll break it off hurting the girl. A couple years ago one of his exes was really hurt and her friends fought with him. They were in my classes so I got to enjoy the whole drama.

Michelle has said before that he's a a****** but I'm kinda worried that he's probably gonna go with her again. They're both my friends, and it's way too confusing!


message 12: by Jayda (new)

Jayda Ahhh... What confuses me about these things are the girls that call the guy such a name (and perhaps he is) but then go out with him again.

So, she said she thinks he likes you? Well... if you're really not comfortable with going out with him knowing his reputation, you should base part of it on that, then don't go out with. But knowing him as a friend you should base it on your friendship and knowledge of him as a friend. Do you think you could get through it without getting hurt? Do you think you two have something different than what him and the other girls did? How much do you really like him?

Everything little adds up to something big, meaning small things could lead to a relationship. But you have to ask yourself all of the basic questions - knowing what happens between him and girls, do you want to take the risk? Do you think it'll be different between you two? Do you really like him?

Once those questions are answered, then you can see which factor it leads to - you two dating, or not.

I hope that helped!


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

It did, I was mainly stressing because of michelle possibly getting hurt.

I don't think I'll ever go out with him, mainly because I'm
Not allowed to date for another year, and we might not go to the same school next year


message 14: by Jayda (new)

Jayda Ah. How old are you? My parents wouldn't let me date until I turned sixteen :) Not that I cared to...

If it were me, (considering ONLY what you've told me of him) I wouldn't go out with him. And it does seem that there would be some complications in the way :)


message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

I'm fifteen. I go to a private Montessori school that goes through 9th grade, so I'm gonna transfer to a public highschool next year. My parents are same as yours

If I did go out with him ever, all my friends would be saying 'I told you so' which is a reason to prove them wrong. He's not a bad person, he just can be kind of stupid


message 16: by Jayda (new)

Jayda I think it's best to wait until you're sixteen. Teenagers, generally, are much more mature at sixteen than they are even at fifteen, you know? :)

I see what you're saying. I had the same problem with my guy friend... He's an idiot sometimes, but he's a good guy, in general.


message 17: by [deleted user] (new)

Yup I agree. Im not dying to start going out with someone. Iknow people who started when they were 11 which is way way way too early


message 18: by Lia RaeAnn (new)

Lia RaeAnn (myhappyending) Thanks, but it turns out he didn't like me at all.


JustAnotherConverseLovinGurl | 56 comments Aww im sorry lia.
yeah i agree with Jayda, Bendomela.
Good luck (:


JustAnotherConverseLovinGurl | 56 comments Umm okay so my friend, umm lets call her Sally.
Okay so she went out with this guy (lets call him Billy)
okay so Sally went out with Billy for a while and he ended up asking another girl out and then breaking up with her, so technically, he cheated on her.
And since then hes had 2 other girlfriends.
And hes dating one at the moment.
So Sallys really sad, because even though he cheated on her, she still wants him back and is waiting for him to ask her out again.
And Last Thursday Sally and Billy hung out and they kept kissing and stuff...
but Billy has a gf and she knows that.
So, even though she knows how much it hurts to get cheated on, she helped him cheat on his present gf.
AND SHE STILL WANTS HIM BACK EVEN THOUGH HES CHEATING ON MULTIPLE GIRLS.
And shell do like anything to get him back.
i want to be there for her and everything,
and i want her to be happy,
but i dont know what to tell her because i KNOW that if she goes back out with him shes gonna get hurt.
What should i tell her? should i do something about it?


message 21: by Lia RaeAnn (new)

Lia RaeAnn (myhappyending) yeah, he keeps watching me so i don't know what's up!


message 22: by Arekusu (new)

Arekusu | 30 comments Richelle Mead's 3rd Succubus book, there's a line "she won't thank you for mothering her". Similar situation. It's a thankless job, but a true friend does it anyways, and doesn't follow up with "I told you so" later.

Technically Billy didn't cheat on Sally. nothing wrong with asking a girl out and dumping your current...Now making out, yeah that's cheating.

Point it out to her, she'll probably dismiss you but you tried.



JustAnotherConverseLovinGurl | 56 comments i have.
But she wont listen.
Shes like me,
She wants what she cant have.
And what she cant have is Billy.
For the time being anyway,
so when she CAN get himm..
well shell jump at the first chance she gets.
Iv told her, and her other friends have told her but she wont listen.


message 24: by Arekusu (new)

Arekusu | 30 comments Then you need to let her make her own mistakes, and hopefully it's not a costly mistake like STD's or pregnancy, or serious humiliation. And be there for her when things fall apart.

I remember a sitcom where the friends keep together a "care package" handy because their friend gets totally crushed so often, so they're prepared to help her through it.


JustAnotherConverseLovinGurl | 56 comments Yeah well this friend lives in a different city so i cant comfort her and be there for all the time.


message 26: by Arekusu (new)

Arekusu | 30 comments ah i'm not used to thinking in terms of the digital age and "friends" aren't always the traditional friends in real life


JustAnotherConverseLovinGurl | 56 comments what?
no like i no her personally i didnt meet her online or anything...


message 28: by *Sklip* (new)

*Sklip*  (stalkerninja) Lia wrote: "I need some help as sooon as possible. I like this guy. He's the most popular,hottest, and sweetest person ever. He's girlfriend is my best friend.Well, he broke up with her and told my best friend..."

well, i'd say just talk to him for a while and see if you really like him. anyway, not to dampen anything, my friends and i think its bad to date your friend's ex


message 29: by *Sklip* (last edited Sep 23, 2009 05:57PM) (new)

*Sklip*  (stalkerninja) JustAnotherConverseLovinGurl wrote: "Umm okay so my friend, umm lets call her Sally.
Okay so she went out with this guy (lets call him Billy)
okay so Sally went out with Billy for a while and he ended up asking another girl out and ..."


tell "Sally" that "Billy" isnt worth it. even if it hurts her. if "Sally" doesnt get the point, push her into a pond/bathtub/shower/river/sea and tell her to WAKE UP!!!! ((lol haha))


message 30: by *Sklip* (new)

*Sklip*  (stalkerninja) Lexi wrote: "I am having trouble getting the attention of some boys, and not sure if I am doing something wrong. What are some things that you look for in a boy or that your boyfriend has done that made you lik..."

i'm sure you are a very kind person. most guys nowadays (especially teenage boys) tend to go for the "hot" or the "cute chicks." looks are sorta important i guess, but personality matter most. there are a lot of stuff you can look in a guy. my list is probably huge...lemme see.

-makes me laugh
-easy to communicate with
-understands me
-likes/loves me for who i am
-good personality
-good looking i guess?


message 31: by *Swimgal* (new)

*Swimgal* (bookfreak11) Hey everyone! My boyfriend ROX


JustAnotherConverseLovinGurl | 56 comments HAHAHA. ThatStalkerGirlBehindYouWhoIsAlsoACreeper (ok really do you have an easier name????? haha) i like the way you think >=] haha yeahh i figured it out thanks


message 33: by *Sklip* (new)

*Sklip*  (stalkerninja) Just call me StalkerNinja XD


message 34: by *Swimgal* (new)

*Swimgal* (bookfreak11) Good BF qualities:

-makes you feel better when you're upset, even ,makes you laugh
-you are able 2 talk about anything
-he's nice 2 your friends
-doesn't want me 2 change,cause he loves you the way you are
-funny
-cute


message 35: by Arekusu (new)

Arekusu | 30 comments I don't know, being too nice to your friends may not be a good thing. And if a girl was insecure, she might feel the nice to friends was hitting on friends.

I think the first 2 and 4th are the most important as a bf/gf

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02...

I thought this was very fitting, Lizard-happy :)


message 36: by Naomi (new)

Naomi (NaomiFluffy) | 2 comments That's cool, so cute! :)


message 37: by Naomi (new)

Naomi (NaomiFluffy) | 2 comments I have a problem. I love my BFF's brother, and he knows, and my BFF doesn't like it. My BFF, lets call her K, told me that she never liked it, and my other BFF, lets call her J, says that I should be careful, and the boy in question, lets call him T, stares a me all the time and then acts as though I don't exist for a while.
What should I do? I need help, cause I've loved him for a year now, and he has known for about 9 months.
Can you help, please?


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