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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Thoughts on Sci-fi/Fantasy blurb

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message 1: by Erin (new)

Erin (redlaire) | 21 comments Hello! I'm looking for some advice to improve my blurb. I would love to hear what you have to say!

The creation of the Fae peoples by persons unknown plunged the world into a war that devastated much of the United States. The Fae won the war, but at a terrible cost. Fifty years later the Fae have been forced into Havens to keep them safe from those who would rather see them destroyed.

Owen Williams, loving husband and doting father, is shocked when his wife Tiffany falls prey to the unknown force that turns humans into Fae. He and his family are forced to flee for the Fae Haven of Tearmann after Anti-Fae forces attempt to kidnap his children. Owen struggles to keep his family safe in a place he doesn't understand and a world full of people that want to destroy their new home.


message 2: by Keith (new)

Keith Oxenrider (mitakeet) | 1166 comments Since I've read your work I can say that you cover the basic plot no problem. The problem? Your description isn't interesting. The general way I've understood a lot of blurbs is to introduce your main character and let the background seep in, rather than give a dump at the beginning. No different than writing the book, just in a micro scale. If you start with the second paragraph you immediately set up tension.

BTW, since Tiffany is thought to be dead until the very end of the book, you really should tell it that way in the blurb. Else you are basically spoiling the ending.

This is just a stab, use as much or as little as you like:


Owen Williams, loving husband and doting father, is shocked when his wife Tiffany falls prey to the unknown force that turns humans into Fae. With his wife dead and the Anti-Fae forces attempting to kidnap his children, Owen and his family are forced to flee to a Fae Haven.

As Owen learns more about the mysterious process of Fae transformation, he is horrified to see it happening in his children. Can Owen accept his children's transformation? Can he survive as the only human in a Fae community? When the normals inevitably attack, who will he ally with?


Roughseasinthemed | 263 comments Nice suggestion Keith :)


message 4: by Keith (new)

Keith Oxenrider (mitakeet) | 1166 comments Thanks! I find this process excellent practice for reworking my own blurbs, which all suffer from the same issues.


Roughseasinthemed | 263 comments Agree. I think we all get something out of it by thinking, what is someone trying to say, what would engage a reader and have the most impact, plus, how can we say it as concisely as possible.


message 6: by Erin (new)

Erin (redlaire) | 21 comments Thank you for all your help everyone! I'll take your advice into consideration.


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