One on One's... And only that! discussion

ONE X ONE > || Jaz & Tabi = 4x the Charm ||

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message 1: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (last edited Feb 17, 2018 11:08AM) (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments description


description //Nickname(s)//
descriptionKit ; Chris

descriptionBirthday//March 21descriptionWeight//176 lbs
descriptionGender//maledescriptionBuild//strong-shouldered; lanky
descriptionSexuality//heterosexualdescriptionHair//silver blonde
descriptionStatus//singledescriptionEyes//sea blue

description//fc: Lucky Blue Smith//

description Faster Car

descriptionKit exudes charm with his quick smiles and ready jokes. Counted a friend to many but counts very few as his friends. Easy-going but reserved, he is down for both partying it up or Netflix and chill. Coffee is his go-to beverage of choice, which means he is generally in a constant state of jittery motion, and crashes hard with a migraine if he doesn't get his regular doses of brewed caffeine. He is an excellent liar if he chooses to avoid the truth, but is most often a very straight-up, forward kind of guy. You don't have to push for his opinion, and he will readily give it and at great, eloquent lengths. He is also a staunch defender of his beliefs - the most prominent of those being feminism, equality, and diversity - even if he gets mud slung at him for them. Sharp-witted, sometimes devious, a part-time prankster, and loyal to the bone, Kit is one hell of an interesting and unique fellow. Watch out, world.


description Ordinary

descriptionThere's nothing really extraordinary or particularly unique about Kit's childhood nor his family -- except perhaps that he is the middle of five siblings. This perhaps gave him such an easy-going, extroverted nature in a wide range of circumstances and most certainly to his casual demeanor towards people. It also means that home life on his college breaks is always a riot, stories and laughter sharing air space. His parents are also very supportive and understanding, almost to a disturbing degree, but Kit loves their acceptance of whatever path their children might take . . . excepting one of illegal behavior. Like his dad once said, "I'll love you even if you murder someone but, kid, if you've got innocent blood on your hands, it won't be the judge you'll have to be worried about." But since he ended this with a smile and a wink, the dark sentence took a humorous slant, even though all the Mason kids knew that if they really messed up, boy-oh-boy were there consequences.

descriptionWhich then kept this family really on the straight and narrow, each Mason owning a healthy degree of respect towards humanity in general, as well as sharing the open-mindedness of their parents. Sure, they might not agree on everything, but you won't find a more open-hearted or supportive clan than the Masons. And Kit knows that he's lucky to have such a great family, something he tries to share with others less-fortunate as much as possible, if only to give them a moment where they can feel loved, supported, and safe.

descriptionLike his best-friend, Zoe, who he's known since 2nd grade. He's shared his home and family with her for so long that she feels like family to him, which is why she's so important to him above his large collection of friends. She means the most, and it's beyond a lustful attraction she holds for him -- it's familial, but different because he knows she is most definitely not related to him -- which is why he gets frustrated whenever assumptions are made that he and Zoe are a couple. He often retorts in varying degrees of the same argument
"You know, people can be super close and love each other without the complications of romance or sex!"

descriptionSo, while most guys would jump upon the opportunity of rooming with a girl with intent for "love", Kit doesn't see it like that. He trusts Zoe, loves her in an almost sisterly way, and that's that. She's a girl and he's a guy and they're friends, nothing more. Because nothing else is necessary, in his mind. He much prefers the uncomplicated path of friendship, though he has dabbled in dating in his mid-teens and lost his virginity at a high-school party when he drunk on both alcohol and the rush of the party. (Afterwards, he dated this girl the longest, a total of three months before their lack of true compatability was realized and they parted ways on good terms.) He'll also go out on casual dates, but doesn't really do long-term, a fact he's very clear about . . . and which then makes him both less and more of a target. Less, because he is firmly uninterested in anything serious, and more because some girls find this a challenge and believe themselves to be The One™ destined to win his heart.

descriptionBut, in reality, Kit is just a guy focusing on making his way through college, there as the shoulder to lean on for his best friend (who just so happens to be a girl), and that's all there is to him. He is attractive not just because of his looks, which he shares with his family, but also because of his open personality.


description ANYTHING ELSE TBRP'd


message 2: by Jaz (last edited Feb 17, 2018 02:32PM) (new)

Jaz | 415 comments

                                     | Zoe Draver |

                                         | Zo |

              | Age | 20                       | Birthday | August 31st
              | Gender | Female          | Sexuality | Heterosexual
              | Height | 5'6                 | Weight | 134 lbs
              | Hair | Cocoa Brown  | Eyes | Greenish hazel

                                           | Style |

                                          | Aesthetic |

                                          | Personality |

Zoe Draver is a fitness junkie. She loves it. It’s her whole life, literally. When she’s not studying physiotherapy, she’s working out, teaching yoga or covering personal training shifts. She’s extremely picky about what she eats and drinks, avoiding alcohol for her body. The girl pretty much lives in active wear and that’s how she likes it. The strictness of her lifestyle is her way of controlling the eating disorder that gnaws at the edges as she keeps that toxic mentality at bay.

Unfortunately, Zoe was a logical case for developing an eating disorder. Her mother suffered with complications in her pregnancy which left her significantly restricted which led her to gain a lot of weight. Her father started having an affair soon after this, divorcing her mother and marrying the younger, thinner and more beautiful woman. Comments on weight and appearance constantly growing up led her to develop an eating disorder as she began junior high. Over the next few years, her health began to seriously deteriorate.

Her parents put her into therapy but it wasn’t until she was sixteen that she herself began to get serious about her recovery. As she started to eat again and get better, her parents started her with a dietitian and Zoe started to get really into eating healthy and only taking in things that would build her body up. When she asked if she could join a gym, her parents were initially worried but when she expressed her interest in making her body stronger when it had been so weak, they agreed and started her with a personal trainer.

But through all of this, there was one constant, someone who always supported her no matter what: Kit. He was the only person that she trusted to tell everything to. While her own personal drama going on behind the scenes, Kit kept her sane and she loved him for it. He was always the one who could cheer her up and make her laugh. Conversations with him, no matter what they were talking about, were always the highlight of her day. While he was friends with many people, there was never any doubt in her mind that she was his number one.

Being around him, it was easy for her to fall. She'd had a crush on him for years, something that quite a lot of her closer friends knew about but something that he never did. They were always affectionate, overly so, to the point that many people thought that they were in a relationship. They always corrected the assumptions but of course there was a big part of her that wished that those assumptions were true.

message 3: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments ((Here we go XP))

Zoe plopped down on the sofa with a bowl of berries and nuts in hand, her hair thrown up in a bun, still damp from the shower she'd had after the gym. Pajama shorts and a hoodie she'd 'borrowed' from Kit, she was ready to just chill with her best friend for the night. Really though, she was just hoping that Kit was alright with staying in and didn't try to get her to go out anywhere, the reason why she'd already changed into her pajamas, even though it wasn't technically even night time yet. After trying some new things and pushing herself arguably a bit too hard, she was aching.

Night like these were usually movie nights, though the two were quite bad at watching movies. They'd start with good intentions, get the snacks, turn the lights off and try to pay attention. But then Zoe would start talking, often making fun of the movie, which then regularly devolved into a full blown conversation that lasted long past the end of the film. Every time they said that they were actually going to watch the next one but she couldn't remember a time when they'd ever stuck to the promise they made themselves.

"We should have a game night," Zoe decided with a nod, tossing a raspberry up in the air and catching it in her mouth. "We should get a bunch of people around and play some board games. Like monopoly. We should have a huge game of monopoly. Or twister! I'm good at that one." It seemed like every time she was invited out with friends, they were going to some bar where everyone would drink. It was fun, but having everyone around her drunk got boring quickly. Hanging out with Kit was never like that though.

But Kit wasn't really a friend. Of course, he was her best friend, they have been since second grade. But he wasn't just a friend. At least to her. He hadn't been for a very long time. She couldn't pin point the exact time when she'd gotten a crush on him, she could just remember her heart starting to race around him, the way her chest would squeeze and her stomach would twist into knots. Over the years, she'd learned to control that though, at least to a point. There was still that blush that would flood her cheeks when he kissed her cheek or something equally as ridiculous.

In all their time together, as often as people asked them whether or not they were a couple, Zoe didn't think Kit had ever put two and two together. But as adamantly as he corrected those who mistook them for being in a relationship, it wasn't something Zoe ever planned on telling him.

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments Kit had looked for three minutes in the pile of laundry thrown haphazardly into his closet, searching fruitlessly for his favorite Hogwarts hoodie he'd had since 10th grade, before giving up. He was still shirtless, his legs draped in the soft, fluttering cloth of lounge pants he always wore at home - and sometimes to class if he was having a particularly zombiefied morning experience - and his bare feet were quiet against the carpet as he padded out into the main room of the apartment he shared with Zoe.

"Hey, have you seen my Hogwa—oh!" He spied his missing hoodie on Zoe, who blinked innocently up at him from her bowl of healthy stuff. "Never mind, found it. Guess I'll go find another one of my shirts to wear . . . " He started back to his room, throwing over his shoulder, "And yeah, game night sounds great!"

Once he'd selected a replacement shirt, one of his many Star Wars ones, he ambled into the kitchen to retrieve his bag of popcorn he'd set going in the microwave before heading into his room to change into his version of pajamas. Tearing open the bag and inhaling the buttery scent, he then plopped down on the couch next to Zoe, smirking at her selected snack as he shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"So," he said around the mouthful, "what's on the viewing venue?"

message 5: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Of course she'd had to snag the one hoodie he decided he wanted to wear. Of course he decided to walk out shirtless and give her that look as he let her continue to wear it. It wasn't that she hadn't seem him shirtless multiple times, or that she didn't see shirtless guys all the time. Her second home was the gym where guys walked around shirtless all the time. And yet still, her heart did that annoying little jump when she saw him.

"Because you agreed, I think it should be your responsibility to organise it," Zoe called into him. "Mostly because organising things is a pain that I'm not bothered to deal with. Though I really want a game night." She tossed a few blueberries into her mouth, scrolling through her Netflix queue to see what she wanted to watch.

Zoe raised an eyebrow at his smirk, nudging his shoulder. "What? And don't be gross, stop talking with your mouthful."

Finally deciding on some new Netflix movie that looked bearable, she started to play it. "Whatever this one is, I've run out of things I actually want to watch," she said around her own mouthful of food, flashing Kit a joking grin. "I guess I should probably start paying attention in class instead of burning through everything on Netflix."

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "Ha! What? No way," Kit said, raising a speculative and judgmental eyebrow. "Your idea, your responsibility. With great ideas comes great responsibility . . . of which I'll be there to help support, of course, but" - here he shoved another mouthful of popcorn in, having finished the first - "if you want it bad enough, you make it happen."

He wasn't being mean in this; he just had enough on his plate to deal with besides kowtowing to Zoe's starry-eyed wishes. A game night did sound like loads of fun, but he already had homework he was skipping out on to watch a movie (though he would have done that anyways whether or not Zoe was around; weekends were for lazing, not holed up studying . . . unless there was a test or finals, which there wasn't) that he didn't want to think of adding another thing to his list. He'd probably end up procrastinating on it, too.

message 7: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments "But come on," she groaned, poking his arm. "Have you ever tried to organise things with our friends? It's practically impossible and like two thirds of them end up dropping out anyway. You basically have to set up and event on Facebook, bribe them to say they're going and then get them to sign an enforceable contract. And that's all provided you can find a time that suits because apparently everyone is always busy at totally different times."

Zoe laughed, taking another handful from her bowl. Of course his answer only reminded her of her stupid devotion towards him. Yes, they were best friends and they'd help each other out through everything. But she was more invested and she quite hated it because she hardly ever said no. She went out of her way more than Kit realised because she didn't want him to know when it inconvenienced her most of the time. She acted like a girlfriend, or at least that was what her friends told her when they gave her one of their speeches on why she had to either confess her feelings or give up on Kit.

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "If most of them aren't going to come, then I'll just strong-arm Gale and Alycia to come over and we'll have a game night by ourselves," Kit said, referencing two of his siblings. "The only bribe those two need is free food, though I'll make sure Gale brings some of his own 'cause he scarfs down chips like nothing else."

Per the norm, they were barely paying attention to the screen in front of them, Netflix serving as background gibberish to their interactions. Kit really didn't mind; if he wanted to watch something and focus on it, he did it by himself. Pretty much the only movies he and Zoe watched and focused on together were the ones they went to the theater for, but even then they ended up holding a whispered commentary on the film.

He liked how loose he could be around Zoe -- not the weird kind that drew winks and suggestive smiles -- but the kind where she was like family. He could hold a conversation with her whilst shoving deliciously buttery popcorn into his face and lounge like a moron on the couch, something he didn't do with any other girl. Sure, they had boundaries like every other person did, but it was more of a familial kind with him and Zoe.

"So," he said a little bit later, once their game night discussion had dwindled away into the distance and an hour had progressed on the movie, "I heard Lucas asked you out a couple days ago. You say yes or ice queen him like the others?"

message 9: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments “That sounds like a better idea,” Zoe agreed as Kit mentioned his siblings. Zoe had practically grown up as part of his family, always around for dinner and invited to family events. His parents treated her like one of their own, something that she relied on when her parents were going through their divorce and the period after. Kit’s family was a rock for her and she could never thank them enough for it, even though his parents brushed her off every time she tried to. Gale and Alycia were basically her brother and sister too. “Let’s just do that. They’ll be more fun than Lola trying to get advice over her latest boy troubles,” she said with a laugh.

Everything was going fine until he decided to bring up Lucas. He was nice, attractive, funny. He liked her, he had made that clear from the start but she’d shut him down pretty quickly. Still, he tried even though she had friend zoned him. It was nothing to do with him, he was a catch by any girls standards, but she was emotionally unavailable thanks to her hopeless crush on the person sitting next to her.

“I’m not an ‘ice queen’,” Zoe insisted with a roll of her eyes. The word ‘detest’ perhaps could sum up how much she hated the nickname she’d gotten herself simply by not being interested in guys who were interested in her. Maybe she was a bit cold about it sometimes but she always tried to make it clear from the get go that she wasn’t interested so when they insisted, she could lose her patience.

“Lucas is a great guy. Really. He’s really funny, he’s really hot, he’s good for a conversation. But, I just don’t feel anything romantic for him and I’m not gonna agree to go out with him when I’m not interested in him like that and lead him on.” Zoe shrugged, reaching into her bowl only to find it empty. “Lola was trying to get me to go for it anyway. She doesn’t approve of my current romantic situation. But I’m not gonna lead him on.”

She hoped that was enough to satisfy his curiosity and not prod further into what her ‘current romantic situation’ was. Lying was a strong point for her, she’d done it for years without giving herself away. But Kit knew her like no one else and if anyone would catch her out on a lie, it would be him.

message 10: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "You are too an ice queen," Kit retorted, throwing a piece of popcorn at her, the puffy white kernel catching on the side of damp bun. "Own it. Ice queens are epic in all the fantasies I've watched and read, which granted aren't that many, but still. They're super cool. Ha! Literally."

He honestly couldn't care less about Zoe's dating life, unless of course she thought a jerk was a saint, in which case he'd do his best to sort that out. He was protective towards her the way he was with his sisters; sure, he might not one-hundred-percent like someone they thought was the cat's meow or whatnot, but that wasn't his place to like them the way they did. If a guy (or in Alycia's place, a girl or a guy) was okay as a person in both actions and morals, he didn't have a problem with them.

"I don't like Lola," he commented, frowning at the mention of the girl. "I kissed her once when I was high on a third espresso in two hours, and ever since then she hasn't acted the same way towards me. Like, she likes me, even though I've made it abundantly clear that was a one-time mistake. I mean, it wasn't even a long or even hot kiss, either! It just sorta . . . happened."

He'd ranted to Zoe about it the night it had happened a year ago, still pretty jacked on caffeine and also a heavy dose of regret. He didn't blame her for staying friends with Lola -- though, admittedly, Lola was the one putting in the hours towards the friendship -- but Kit didn't go out of his way to hang out with Lola himself. Especially since that ill-fated, super non-intense kiss.

"So, don't listen to Lola," he ended, licking butter off his fingers. "It's not up to her, or Lucas, to dictate your feelings. It's your job for that, no one else. But" -- he grinned at her, pulling his pinky finger out of his mouth after it's butter-residue-cleaning -- "if you do end up liking Lucas, I'll say that he's a nice guy. I wouldn't label him hot, but I suppose he's not bad looking." And then he frowned, catching onto the word "current" that she'd dropped.

Kit sat up from his lounging position, his curiosity piqued. "Hold up," he said, lifting a newly-cleaned pointer finger for emphasis. "What do you mean current romantic situation?" He grinned teasingly, pointing at her now and moving his finger in a little teasing circle. "You got a secret boyfriend or something? Huh?"

message 11: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Zoe flicked the piece of popcorn out of her hair with a frown, pulling the tie out to let her long, mocha brown hair down. It was still slightly damp but she wasn't really one to bother using heat and effort to dry her hair. "I'm not an ice queen," she insisted, feeling a twinge of hurt in her chest at that nickname. She had feelings, more feelings than she would have liked, and just because she didn't make those known to everyone didn't mean they didn't exist. It wasn't as though she was about to confess her love for Kit or anything.

Rolling her eyes, Zoe ran her fingers through her slightly tangled hair. She had heard the rants from both of them, the two of them using her as a soundboard for their feelings about the event. Part of her wanted to tell him to get over himself because Lola was much more concerned with her current on and off boy toy who was giving her much more steamy content than a silly kiss. Another part of her felt that usual twinge of jealously whenever it was mentioned. Yet another part wanted to tell him that Lola's push towards Lucas had nothing to do with Lola and everything to do with Lola's knowledge of her unreciprocated feelings towards her best friend.

"I don't like Lucas. Plus, Lucas isn't crazy about how much we hang out, so in that way he sucks," Zoe added with a shrug, very nonchalant about the fact. It wasn't anything new. "He pretty cool but he also makes like so many comments about we're going out so I can imagine that if I took him up on his offer, he'd be constantly bugging me about spending time with you."

"No," she answered quickly, turning her body slightly so she could look at him better. "I don't have a secret boyfriend. How could I have a secret boyfriend?If I had a secret boyfriend, I wouldn't spend most of my time hanging out with you. It's already confusing the amount of guys who decide to try and hit on me when their second line is 'are you dating him?'"

He had caught onto the one thing that she hadn't wanted him to catch onto and she was hoping that she would be able to get off topic. If there was something that Kit wasn't fond about, it was people getting them confused for a couple. Zoe had never really minded but it was one of the things that could set Kit off on one of his honest opinion rants.

message 12: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "God, not this again . . . " Kit groaned, leaning forward and shoving his hands up into his hair. "How many time do I have to explain how perfectly natural a platonic relationship is and how it doesn't mean a romantic one is just one step away?" He looked up. "If you want me to explain things to Lucas, I can."

Kit had never been the one to offer to pretend to date Zoe, and they'd never been in a situation where that had been the only option to get someone off her back. Or vice versa. He did, however, own a working knowledge of his fists and how to best use them, as well as owning an impressive catalog of intimidation tactics. He liked seeing how many ways he could scare someone off; it was part of his pranking nature.

"What I don't get, is if people think we're dating, why do they still hit on you?" Kit mused, his frustration at the old grievance fading as he sat up, idly running his fingers through the un-popped kernels in his bowl. "Like, isn't it taboo to hit on someone's supposed girlfriend, even if it isn't true, or are guys just that stupid nowadays?"

message 13: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments If only Kit knew how wrong his belief was. She was sure that there were platonic relationship where there was no semblance of romantic feelings between the two but if he believed that their relationship was purely platonic, he was completely wrong. He had been wrong for a long time and she wasn't sure when, or if, his belief would ever become true between the two of them again.

"You really don't have to bother. I told you, I'm not interested in him." Zoe shrugged, hoping that would be the last mention of Lucas. It was always awkward when Kit decided to try and talk to Zoe about guys, or vice verse. Of course, he never understood how awkward it was because Zoe was determined to never let him know that she was feeling that way. Considering how she'd never been pulled up on it, she was sure that she had done a good enough job to convince him that there was nothing wrong and she wasn't feeling anything other than her normal 'ice queen' lack of feelings.

Pointing at him, Zoe grinned. "Ah my friend, that's an easy question. They think we're dating which means two things: One, I'm attractive enough to have someone like me; Two, I'm unavailable, which makes me a challenge. Apparently dating you makes me attractive enough to have chemistry with someone and therefore, many guys believe that they have a right to hit on me."

message 14: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (last edited Feb 28, 2018 12:42PM) (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments Kit sighed and tipped his head back against the top of the couch, the edge of it crooking his neck at an awkward angle. His only view was of the ceiling, but if he strained his eyes, he could maybe catch a glimpse of the top of the tv screen in front of him. And since the faint flash of the movie gave a dizzying effect, one he wasn't too comfortable with, Kit closed his eyes.

"I'm not bothering," he replied. "I'm just curious, because if you really think about it, it doesn't make one bit of sense."

He then opened his eyes and shifted his position so that he was leaning in the corner of the couch, legs tucked and his gaze facing Zoe. He set his empty popcorn bowl aside on the floor before ruffling his still quiet-buttery fingers through his hair, trying to get some semblance of order to his scattered thoughts. It wasn't that he didn't like the topic they were discussing, he just didn't see the logic in it.

"Okay, yeah you're pretty attractive," he said in a purely factual way, not thinking much of it. "But first of all, room mates doesn't equal dating. If you were rooming with a girl, would they automatically assume something romantic? Probably not, which is another issue in this world where heterosexuality is still the assumption, but again that's not the point here. The point is . . . gah!"

He trailed off with another groan, scrubbing his hands across his face and smelling popcorn in the action. He knew Zoe got it, it was why he still roomed with her because she didn't assume anything. They were friends, closer than friends, but not in that way. And everything was fine! Anything else would have honestly felt beyond weird. Abnormal, even. Sure, Zoe was extremely attractive, but Kit saw that about her in an aesthetic way, not a lustful way.

"Subject change," he finally said, lowering his hands. "Well, sorta. So, I get that you don't like Lucas, but are you interested in dating anyone or just not interested in dating at all?"

It was curiosity that drove him to ask this, since while Zoe kept turning guys away, it wasn't like she'd ever said she wasn't interested in dating. Or maybe she wasn't interested in guys? They told each other everything, even the super awkward things, but maybe she was dealing with something that she hadn't understood about herself yet?

"Or do you not like guys in that way . . . ?" Kit asked hesitantly, not sure why he was asking this, but still curious. Whoever Zoe liked, he didn't care, he just wanted to help her.

message 15: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments The compliment should have put her on cloud nine. Kit telling her that she was attractive should have had her ecstatic. But instead, she just felt a stab of pain in her chest because she knew it meant nothing. Everything he said was devoid of the one feeling she wanted: attraction.

That was biggest difference in their relationship. They were best friends who got along and were always there for each other. But Zoe was attracted to him which made the romantic side click for her. And Kit, he told her she was attractive but without any feeling of attraction towards her. He said it in a way someone appreciate a painting, but it wasn't as though they were in love with it or anything.

The problem that her friends had was that she said nothing. She never made an effort to show him how she felt or to try and convince him to feel the same way. They told her that she should just go for it but they didn't have these sorts of conversations with him. They didn't know just how much he didn't see her in that way and she wasn't ready to risk everything she had with him simply because she was so selfish that she pushed for a relationship he didn't want.

Zoe rolled her eyes at his question. "You know, that feels like a very close minded thing for someone to assume. I surprised at you," she teased, running her fingers through her hair as she tried to make sure it dried the right way. "Just because I'm not interested in dating doesn't mean I like girls or no one."

"You do know I have kissed guys and stuff, right?" Well, she had only ever kissed a few guys at a few different parties over the years and that was only because she was mad at Kit and hoping to feel that spark she felt whenever she was near him with someone else. It hadn't happened. "It's just that no one that I'm interested in dating is interested in dating me too. I guess they just don't see me that way."

She shouldn't have said that. She most certainly shouldn't have said that. That was too close to the truth. She had to do something to back track.

"Maybe it's because they're actually good guys who see you and don't want to step on your toes because they think we're a thing," she joked, feeling like an idiot about the whole situation. Damn Lucas.

message 16: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "Whoa, whoa, I was just asking!" Kit said with a grin, holding his hands up. "I wasn't assuming anything--okay, maybe a little--but it was more a curiosity thing rather than a "Oh, she doesn't date guys . . . she must be into girls!" No. Nope. Not at all like that."

Well, he felt stupid now. Not much, but enough that he regretted asking her the question, but there wasn't any taking it back now, was there? Either way, at least it was answered . . . sort of. Whatever. It wasn't really important anyways, because it wasn't like he cared or would be upset if she didn't like guys. Hadn't he just been defending the fact that he saw her only as a friend and nothing more? So whoever she liked wouldn't affect him, not one bit.

He nodded in agreement when she mentioned kissing guys at parties. Those were the same parties he'd kissed girls at because he was either bored, jacked on caffeine, or vaguely attracted and willing to act upon that. Pretty much every girl he'd kissed in such a situation hadn't turned out to be the greatest decision, and before he'd learned better and keep his mouth to himself unless there was serious, logical attraction, Kit had accidentally broken quite a few hearts.

But his interest was caught when, right after Zoe had stated several times she wasn't interested in dating, she mentioned an intriguing thing. She was interested in someone . . . Kit leaned forward, folding his arms as he quirked an eyebrow in conspiratorial confidence at her. And the fact that she quickly backtracked in a way to try and hide her reveal only made him even more set to ask her who this mysterious interest was.

"Oh, really?" he said. "So, ah, just who are these good guys who aren't interested in the extremely dateable roommate of mine sitting right across from me, hey?"

message 17: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Zoe felt like tearing her hair out. How had she managed to mess up so bad? The one thing she didn't want Kit to pick up on had been the one thing he seemed to have heard. She had no idea how to answer, though she was sure that Lola would say that it was the perfect opportunity for her to dramatically confess her love for him. But Zoe wasn't a drama queen like Lola so even if she did think that it was a good idea to tell Kit how she felt, she would confess in that sort of way.

"Well clearly I'm not all that dateable if they don't want to date me. Be logical here," she scolded jokingly, trying to deflect the attention that she really wasn't comfortable having. They didn't discuss her love life, or at least not to this extent. The conversations were usually quickly resolved with Zoe brushing it off. Apparently Kit was in a more curious mood than normal.

"Does it really matter who he is if nothing's ever going to happen?" She shrugged, her head tipping to the side. That was the big question. Her feelings didn't matter if nothing was ever going to happen between the two of them and if the years of friendship were any indication, it wasn't something that would be happening any time soon or, more accurately, ever.

But there was no one else that she wanted to be with. She spent time with guys, she had other friends who were guys, but none of them, even when she tried to think of them a different way, ever made her feel the way Kit did. No one gave her butterflies or made her heart flutter or made her blush. No one made her feel as comfortable as he did, as able to be herself.

"But hey," she said with a grin, "Maybe I'll embrace the fact that I'm not attractive enough, romantically attractive too, and just get a cat. Or maybe not a cat. I'm not a big fan. Maybe a dog. I'm sure he'll like me."

message 18: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "But I thought you just said that a lot of guys did want to date you?" Kit said with a frown, glancing momentarily to the side when a particularly loud bit of music spiked from the TV, before focusing once more on Zoe. "So, you want to get logical? Okay."

He shifted position once again, sitting cross-legged on the couch, but still facing her. So one knee was pressed against the back of the couch while the other hung over the edge, making Kit feel like a lopsided frog trying to fit into a spot that was clearly too small . . . but that thought passed briefly in light of the conversation being held.

Kit was normally a very logical person. He liked to puzzle things out, to find answers where no one else did, and preferred it when others did the same. Especially regarding conversations, where topics tended to range far and wide. Which he didn't mind . . . as long as they made sense. Usually, Zoe made sense, but right now she wasn't. Not one bit.

"If you were anyone else," he said casually, "I'd think you were totally romantically attractive. Don't say you're not physically attractive, at least not in the general sense, another topic I'm not going to get started on right now" - he cleared his throat - "anyways, because you work out enough to be in possession of a very attractive body. That's just a fact. But personality wise? You're a nice catch, too."

Kit then lifted a hand, checking items off on his fingers. "You're funny, but not an air-head. You're smart, but not annoyingly smart. You're loyal, but not clingy about it; trust me, guys may think they want devoted girls, but they're really a pain. And, most importantly, you've got self respect. You could live without a guy, or you could live with one. Well" - he grinned - "you do live with one, but you know what I mean."

He stopped there, because something told Kit he shouldn't go any farther. Zoe was looking at him the way she did when something really, truly caught her interest. And he wouldn't usually pay attention to it, but perhaps it was the subject they were discussing or some inherent instinct that warned him away, but either way he ended it there with a quick grin.

"Anyways," he finished. "To date or not to date, it's not really an issue. And I'm sure whoever thinks you're not a catch, well, it's their loss."

((Okay, so I've got a brilliant arc planned for this. Maybe have her end up blurting out something along the lines of "it's you, idiot!" or whatnot, I've got his reaction planned exactly in my head, as well as the ensuing fallout drama ehehehehe))

message 19: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Zoe turned her attention away from where it had been briefly back on the movie. She had no idea what the plot of the movie was, only that there was some epilepsy inducing action sequences and a really bad romantic plot between the two leads. But when Kit made an awkward effort to turn to face her, he had her attention again as she curled her legs to the side so she could face him as well.

The look in his eyes only solidified her unease. He was too curious. An optimistic part of her had been hoping that he was about to change topic once again, let the subject go. If she drank, she imagined that this would be the time that she would be looking for one. But she didn't, so a distracting gulp of her glass of water had to suffice.

What she didn't expect was the literal list of compliments that he counted on his fingers. It took her back. Not only did he just admit that he actually found her physically attractive but that her found her attractive in a romantic sense as well. He was listing things that he liked about her but he didn't like her.

And it made no sense! He was telling her all of the reasons why a guy should be into her but he wasn't. He didn't like her. He didn't think of her like that. Even though he thought she was a catch, he didn't want to catch her. It was frustrating in a very familiar way. She didn't know why she got so caught up in him.

So when he finished in an attempt to make her feel better, she just laughed. "Mhhmm, yeah, you're loss," she agreed with another huff of laughter, mostly at herself for being so stupid to let her hopes get up in that brief moment.

message 20: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments ((yeah but remember I said I DONT WANT ANY HELP BECAUSE I LOVE THIS FEELING ahahahahahaha *flails off into the sunset*))

For a moment, Kit didn't catch her slip-up. Probably because he hadn't even considered the possibility, so sure that she was on his side regarding their relationship. But when he did realize what she'd said, what she meant, he blinked as the obvious truth slammed into him.

The first reaction he had was annoyance. Out of everyone he'd ever interacted with, he thought Zoe understood him completely! He thought they were on the same page, that stupid emotions like lust and romantic attraction weren't cluttering up their friendship, turning things sour with drama and confusion. He thought she was different in that way, that he didn't have to worry about accidentally breaking her heart. And then now that things were revealed, he was even more annoyed that he'd be breaking the heart of his best friend.

His second reaction was denial. Pfft, yeah right. He'd heard wrong. She hadn't meant it that way . . . had she? Of course not. This was Zoe. His best friend. The one person who got him, who understood that not all relationships between opposite genders was meant for a romantic end, or even became romantic at all. She was just messing with him. Yes, that's what.

The third and final reaction was a mixture of annoyance and sadness, because it was true, if Zoe liked him in that way, then she was doomed for heartbreak. Because Kit had never, ever seen her in a romantic way. Ever. It was so absurd, not to mention slightly cringe-y. He blinked at her again, trying to picture them in that way, even so much as darting a glance at her lips to wonder if he could imagine wanting to kiss her . . . yeah, no.

Kit leaned back with a visible shudder, though not a particularly obvious one. He wasn't really thinking about Zoe's reaction to his reaction, merely dealing with the completely unexpected shock of this fact. Well, wait . . . no, it wasn't fact. Just very, very possible.

"Um," he said slowly, wishing, hoping, praying she would deny it, "what?"

message 21: by Jaz (last edited Feb 28, 2018 04:44PM) (new)

Jaz | 415 comments It took Zoe about as long as it took Kit to realise what she'd just said. Her stomach dropped at the same time her heart lept into her throat. She couldn't believe that she'd just said that. She had no idea how she'd just said that. Over all these years, she'd been determined to keep her feelings to herself and not let Kit know about her feelings towards him.

Her friends always told her that she was crazy for keeping it to herself and in part, she agreed with them, but she always knew that she could never tell him. She understood how he felt about their friendship. They were friends. That was that. Kit had always been very vocal about his view that people of the opposite gender could be friends without any of the drama that could come from romance and Zoe had always respected that.

So perhaps it was the fact that her one slip up seemed to upset Kit so much that had her feeling a frustrating mix of angry and sad. He had pushed and pushed and pressed when she had been so content to never tell him and just get on with her life. She had tried so long and so hard to make sure their friendship never changed because she cared about him and how he felt about their relationship. But one slip up and it was as though she'd ruined everything in his eyes.

Even worse, he'd shuddered. It had been small but she'd seen it. He shuddered and she would have bet that it was at the thought of the two of them together.

And she felt her heart crack.

Kit had angered, upset, frustrated and hurt her without even realising he was doing so. But never once, until that moment, had she really understood heartbreak. It wasn't deep or complete, but it was a gaping pain in her chest.

"You heard what I said," Zoe answered with a shrug, trying to play it off as nonchalant and keep her emotions under control. Strong emotions had never really worked for her, one of the reasons why she'd turned to yoga and meditation. "I was talking about you. Sorry to burst your 'purely platonic' bubble." She had meant it to come out snappy but much to her annoyance, it was sincere.

message 22: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (last edited Mar 01, 2018 12:37PM) (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments It wasn't that Kit was against friendship becoming more. He was against him and Zoe becoming more because he had never considered it, never wanted it, hadn't even really thought about it because he'd never seen her that way. Even with all the assumptions and questions they got, he brushed those aside as they were from outsiders, people who didn't understand. He and Zoe understood each other, and that was all he needed. But now she had become like those outsiders, breaking the connection Kit had rested and trusted in, and he felt himself spiraling.

Zoe was his best friend. They weren't complicated, and he needed that from her. Not something like this, seeing the heartbreak dawning in her gaze that she tried to hard to shrug away. He wanted both to run away and lean in to comfort her, because she was still his best friend and he hated, hated seeing her like this, no matter the cause. But he couldn't because now Kit wondered just how many times she'd taken his innocent, friendly gestures as more, even when he'd never meant them as anything like that.

Her heart was breaking? Well, so was his. They were supposed to be above a situation like this, but here they were.

"Really?" he said almost breathlessly. "Zoe. I thought . . ." Kit shook his head, looking away from her. He focused on the TV screen and the suddenly stupid movie playing it in an attempt to center himself in the middle of the hurricane she'd dropped them into. "I thought we didn't have to worry about this. That we were different."

message 23: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Different. He thought that they were different. She wasn't different, she never had been. She was typical. She was a teenage girl who'd succumbed to her eating disorder because she was insecure. Sure, she'd fought against that, overcome it to the point that she only had bad days every now and then but she wasn't anything special that she could be classed as 'different'.

"I'm a human, Kit, I have feelings," she said, trying to rise above the crushing sadness in her chest. It was stupid, to feel sad about his reaction to her feelings about him. She'd avoided telling him how she felt simply because she knew that he wouldn't feel the same way. She was expecting something like that so why did she feel so hurt over it?

"Yes, we're friends and we've always been friends but I was young and started to see boys as more than kinda gross and you were there. You were kind and sweet and fun and less stupid that other guys and you were cute. So I got a crush on you. That was that and then it wouldn't go away. And it hasn't gone away because I'm still spending time with because we're still friends," she admitted, trying to explain because she could see him freaking out.

"But I'm sorry for not being different." It was sarcastic, she knew it was but her mouth was moving without much communication with her head. "Like I said, I'm human and this is what tends to happen when you spend time with someone and I'm not an exception to the norm. "

message 24: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "No, I know you're not . . . you are different, but I thought in the same way I was to you . . . what . . . argh!" Kit ended his horrible attempt at clarity with a soft growl of frustration.

He closed his eyes for a moment, half-wishing he could magically change this situation into one he could handle. He felt so out of control, which wasn't a sensation he enjoyed. Kit needed things to make sense, for the world around him to fit together in a way he understood, and this right here was absolutely not a part of the world he tried to live in. If he'd been thinking clearly, Kit might have seen how much of an absolutely selfish ass he was being in holding his preferences as better and normal above Zoe's . . . but Kit was not thinking clearly.

At all.

Also, if he'd been thinking clearly (and maybe if they hadn't been talking about ill-fated kisses as a subtext for desire compatibility) he wouldn't have looked at Zoe again with an ill-fated idea how to clear away her idea that she had a chance with him. Because she didn't. They fit together in so many ways, but not in the one way she wanted. And she knew, she knew, how he felt about something like this! So why, after all the years they'd known each other, would she go ahead and do something like this?

Kit thought he spoke before he leaned in, but he wasn't sure. He had an elaborate explanation for his actions in his head, but in the muddle of his emotions and shock, he thought he verbalized them . . . but he didn't. What he was thinking was this: if Zoe thought she liked him, well, she was wrong. And he would prove it. He would show her that they were just friends, and that's where they belonged, where they would never move past, and that was perfectly okay.

He was close to Zoe now, closer than he would normally put himself. But every part of this moment here was an exception, was an alternate reality that was so, so abnormal. He paused a breath away, flicking his gaze up to hers to see if she was feeling as wrong about this as he was. He wasn't sure, but then Kit wasn't sure about anything right now. He thought he'd been sure about the way he and Zoe stood with each other, but that had been dissolved rather abruptly. 'His platonic bubble', as Zoe so aptly labeled, it had indeed been shattered.

Since that had been shattered, there wasn't anything to do but try and convince her that the bubble had been necessary and happy and perfectly fine living in. And so Kit kissed her, a soft, innocent feeling thing because this was Zoe and any of their childhood kisses had been nothing beyond innocent, just two curious kids making faces at how wet and slimy the whole procedure had been.

But they weren't curious kids now. No, they were older, and she was breathless beneath him, and his heart had been shattered by her confession, and the whole thing tasted of warmth and wrong. Kit couldn't do it. Even if she hadn't been convinced of how off the whole thing was, he certainly was.

He pulled away a moment later, his features both carefully blank and yet twisted with frustration at the same time.

"There," he said, finally voicing a continuation to the thoughts in his head, thoughts he just now realized he had never said out loud like he had thought he did, "you see? It's just . . . weird. Us. Doing something beyond friends. We're not meant for that. Never."

((bleh this was long and rambling but, y'know, I still think it works even though half of me is cringing at it . . . :P))

message 25: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Zoe rolled her eyes as he started spluttering. He had been the one who wanted to know what she was talking about. He had been the one who had pushed her when she told him that it was a slip up and she didn't want to tell him. She was the one who had been totally and completely fine living life as they had been living it. Sure, she had feelings for him that weren't reciprocated but she had always known that they wouldn't be reciprocated. She had always known that he wouldn't feel the same way as her and she was fine dealing with that on her own and having Kit completely ignorant to the entire thing.

She opened her mouth to argue with him but he started to lean in. Her mouth closed, her eyebrows rose. She wanted to say something, to ask him what he was doing, but she also didn't want to shatter the fragile, tense atmosphere that sizzled around them. He was going to kiss her. She was sure of it, she just had no idea why.

Her heart pounded so hard that she could hear the pump and rush in her ears. He glanced up at her and it was like she couldn't breathe. She didn't want to breathe, afraid that if she did anything, he would come to his senses and all she wanted was to know what it would feel like to actually kiss him.

It was soft and sweet, tentative and heart melting. Her eyes, which had closed when his lips touched hers, stayed closed for another moment after he had moved away. She didn't want to open them. All she could think of was the worst, that she'd open her eyes and he'd be laughing or telling her she was crazy and there was absolutely nothing between them.

But when he spoke, her eyes shot open. Each word had Zoe's heart breaking, like a hammer chipping at her chest. Her eyes filled with tears, her throat stuck and swollen with a lump. Quickly blinking the tears away, she pressed her lips together and nodded, trying to make sure that her voice didn't come out as upset as she was feeling.

"Obviously, yeah, of course. What was I thinking?" The question was rhetorical, she didn't even wait for an answer as she stood up and stalked off to her room to soothe her heartache as far away from Kit as she could.

message 26: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments For perhaps the only wise moment of his that night, Kit didn't reply to her. Instead he stayed on the couch as she stomped off, the kiss still annoyingly warm on his lips. He felt like childishly scrubbing the sensation away, but that would give the idea that it actually meant something, right? Which it most definitely didn't mean anything.


And yet it meant everything, because he had gone and kissed his best friend who was more than halfway in love with him.

Regret chased Kit into his room a few hours later. It gnawed at his thoughts, spinning and turning them around and around like a time-turner. Oh! If only he did possess the ability or tool to go back and in time and reverse the horrible events of the evening! He wouldn't have asked Zoe about her romantic life, wouldn't have pushed the issue, and definitely wouldn't have kissed her.

He flopped onto his bed with a silent groan of annoyance, mostly directed at himself. It was, after all, his decision that had chased her away . . . and probably added even more fuel to the crush she'd apparently held towards him for years. And he hadn't even been drunk or overly caffeinated! That was when the majority of his bad decisions had occurred in his life.

And so he fell asleep in a tangle of emotions, scenes both real and imagined floating through his head . . .

. . . and woke up to the early gray of morning with an extremely vivid dream tattooed onto his memory.

"Oh, God . . ." Kit gasped in horror, wishing he could slap his dreaming thoughts into submission. It was like they were taunting him with the events of last night, twisting it into something that was absolutely not how he felt towards Zoe at all.

The dream had started out innocent enough: He and Zoe in the living room, talking about nothing. And then the kiss happened . . . and kept going . . . and going. Details were so real, so vivid that their false presence seemed to linger in reality over his skin, over his hands. Hands which had touched parts of his best friend in ways he had never imagined touching.

He shuddered again, both disgusted with himself and his physical reaction to the dream as well as the fact that it had occurred at all! It was a first and he hoped it was the absolute last, the idea of it becoming reality something his body was excited about but his mind and heart definitely weren't.

And so with that still burning in his mind, he got dressed and went into the kitchen, his limbs twitching for caffeine.

((idk I maybe thought she would be there and his dream paired with the events of last night could lead into some interesting conversation/drama ahaha))

message 27: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments ((Oh my gosh that just gave me the feels. I'm so excited XP))

Zoe felt like an idiot as she silently cried herself to sleep. When her alarm went off early that morning, she nearly pressed snooze and delayed her daily run because her eyes were puffy and her chest was aching. But she didn't. She wasn't going to let her heartache take over her. She got up and she got dressed, lacing up her trainers and going on her normal route.

She ran her normal route twice. She ran till her legs were aching and her lungs were burning and her mind was too focused on the rhythm of her feet against the pavements and the in and out of her breath to think about Kit and the horribly amazing kiss they'd shared the night before.

Her face was still a blushed red, even after showering and making herself a smoothie. She was sitting on the counter with her legs crossed, sipping her smoothie through a straw when Kit walked in. Her heart did a leap when he walked in and she didn't know whether or not she should talk to him or not.

"I forgot to put coffee on," she said with a shrug. Normally, she was up before him and put a pot of coffee on for him while she was making breakfast for herself so he had his caffeine hit when he woke up. Doubling up on her run had honestly made her forget but as she said it, she realised it probably sounded petty.

message 28: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "Mm'skay," he muttered, his mind still half-asleep even if his body had been jolted into the state of awareness.

He could play the part of his normal morning routine: grunted monosyllabic answers and shuffling movements until he'd finished his first cup of coffee. It wasn't that hard of a role to perform, only now it felt like more of a role because the events of last night . . . and his stupid dream . . . were a weighty elephant lurking in the room.

And so he moved about the kitchen, getting a pot of coffee made. As the pot began burbling and the rich, intoxicating scent of the water-soaked grains slithered into the air, Kit glanced at Zoe. She was lazily sipping her smoothie, eyeing him like he was a snake that could strike at any moment.

Well, she wasn't wrong to do so. He realized he should apologize for last night, considering he'd just kissed her without warning or permission. Yes. He could start there and then they could move on and things could go back to normal, that one night a fateful blip in their lives.

"Sorry for kissing you," he blurted out, his voice still deep and thick with sleep.

message 29: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Zoe's eyes went wide at Kit's words, nearly doing a spit take and covering him with her breakfast but she stopped herself and tried to play it cool. She was cool. She was fine. She'd be okay. She could stay calm in the face of absolute and complete humiliation. Here he was apologizing for kissing her when it was the best moment of her life, something she'd dreamed about for so long, even though the aftermath had much to be desired, which was an understatement.

"It's whatever," she answered with a shrug, her cardigan slipping off her shoulder. Fixing it, she gulped down her drink as she tried to stop her mouth from moving. She failed.

"I mean, of course you'd apologise for kissing me because it was that bad. I mean, why else would you apologise, unless I didn't want it but you made sure you knew all about that when you wouldn't stop pushing me for answers last night." The words fell out of her mouth, pent up words that she hated. She hated starting 'drama', it felt weak and petty. But maybe she was allowed to be weak and petty sometimes.

message 30: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments Kit frowned as she lashed out. Maybe he deserved some part of it, but that didn't mean he liked it.

"I'm trying to apologize for doing something without your permission," he snapped, reaching for the coffee pot as it beeped a finish. "Why are you upset about how it was? Oh, wait . . . never mind." He shook his head, realizing what he'd walked into. "Don't. You . . . you don't have to answer that."

The last was said in a quick, scrambling sort of way to hopefully prevent further drama than that which was already upon them. He felt at a loss with her, the one person he was normally so at ease with and able to talk about literally anything. And yet Kit could not see how he might be able to explain his ridiculous, stupid reasons behind why he kissed her last night.

But she was wrong about it being a bad kiss. It really wasn't. It just wasn't a right kiss, but he was masculinely confident in his techniques at least. Unashamedly so.

"I do know that you can like someone and yet not be ready for anything beyond simply liking them," he finally said, coffee cup cradled in his hands. "But that's not the point here. The point is that my actions last night were not right, and I needed to apologize for them."

message 31: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Zoe rolled her eyes, setting her glass down on the counter next to her a little too hard. Once again, he spoke without caring about how his words might have consequences. It happened last night when he pushed her about something that she didn't want to talk about and they got into this whole debacle in the first place and it happened again when he decided to apologise for it instead of just ignoring it like she was planning to.

Why couldn't he have just let her have that one memory? Why did he have to keep going and keep pushing? Why couldn't he just let her have that one kiss?

"That is totally not what this is about and you know it," she pushed back, hopping off the counter and stepping as close as she dared towards him, up in his personal space but not close enough to risk spilling his coffee. "Apologise all you want Kit, I don't care. I'll get over it in my own time, just forget about it and stop bringing it up. And please, stop apologizing for kissing me." With a wavering hurt in her eyes, she broke eye contact and let her shoulders drop, stepping away from him and running her fingers through her hair.

message 32: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments Why was Zoe being so . . . so confusing? Kit couldn't see a logical reason why she wouldn't want him to apologize for making an unsolicited move on her like he had. He was trying to fix his mistake, to not be that guy who acted like he hadn't done a damn thing wrong. He had been wrong in what he did last night, so why, why, why was she so mad that he was apologizing?

"Fine," he said. "We won't talk about it then. But I needed to apologize and you know that."

He should have ended it at that. But he didn't. He was upset and frustrated and mad at himself for being an idiot with the one person he really cared about it. If they fell apart because of this, he knew he would be to blame. And yet he still didn't shut! Up!

"Just because something was wanted doesn't make it right, you know," he challenged her, taking a guess as to why she didn't want him to apologize. "You don't care about me asking permission or not. You're just happy I actually kissed you, huh?"

message 33: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Zoe froze, a cold chill shivering down her spine as those words came out of Kit's mouth. She couldn't believe he had actually just said that. He had honestly said those words to her as though they wouldn't stab her in the heart and rile her up with a cloud of anger that steamed from her ears.

Her muscles tensed once again as she narrowed her eyes at Kit. "Wow, that sounds a lot like not talking about it again. Good job, I'm so proud. How are you so dense?!" Her voice rose as she through her hands in the air, turning around but quickly whirling on him again with her finger pointed.

"Why would you say that to me?" she snapped, her lips pressed together. "Obviously that's why, you stupid, stupid- Clearly! You pushed me until I admitted that I had feelings for you, then you kissed me, then you apologised for it. How would you feel, hmm?"

message 34: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "You didn't have to answer my questions, Zoe!" Kit snapped back just as fiercely. "And I said I was sorry! I was a complete idiot last night, okay? I feel terrible that I did what I did, that I pushed you like that for the sake of my own damn curiosity. I'm sorry that I kissed you like that. I'm sorry that you're clinging to a memory of someone being an idiot instead of a good kiss where they ask first and not do it just to prove a stupid point in a stupid way!"

They hadn't yelled like this at each other in a long time. The last time Kit remembered fighting with Zoe like this was when they were in middle school, and even then he couldn't remember what that argument had been about.

But this? He wished he could do what Zoe wanted and forget about it.

"You think I was trying to do this to you?" he continued with a disbelieving laugh. "Zoe, you're my best friend. I feel awful about this, that you're feeling this way, okay? That's what I feel!"

message 35: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Clinging to a memory? Did he think that she was that desperate? That she was so wound up and prudish that she she had to 'cling' to the memory of kissing him? Did he seriously think that low of her? She wanted to scream.

"Oh thank you so much for telling me how you feel. I appreciate you telling me because you were ready and not because I pushed you to," she hissed, her hands nearly shaking with the pressure she felt from those hot running emotions.

She didn't think. She couldn't think. Her head was clouded with anger, her rationality blurred with frustration. So she just acted. She stepped forward, reaching up and pulling him closer to her as she pressed her lips to his. It was shorter than their one the night before, she pulled back almost straight away, too fogged with anger to let herself enjoy it.

"There! Now we're even. Will you shut up about it now?!"

message 36: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (last edited Oct 03, 2018 11:29AM) (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments If Kit had been more awake and less frustrated, he would have noticed the signs. He would have seen the crazy resolve settle in her gaze. He would have realized what her moving forward meant instead of just thinking she was gonna add emphasis to her statements by poking him in the chest or something.

And so the kiss took him completely by surprise. He didn't even close his eyes like he had last night. And it wasn't even much of a kiss either. One moment her lips were there, warm and rushed and almost desperate against his. And the next moment, they were gone.

He was also so angry at her he couldn't talk for a moment, just gape at her with the damp of her mouth quickly evaporating cold from his lips. She did that so they would be even? Even in what? The fact that they'd kissed each other, or that she did something without asking first? Both were stupid reasons.

"What the hell, Zoe," he said, clipped and low. He slammed his cup down on the counter, some of the liquid sloshing over. "Fine. We're even now if that's how you want it."

He then stormed out of the kitchen and out the door, not really thinking where he was going, just that he had to leave.

message 37: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments ((OH MY GOSH YASSSSS! I need that in my lifeeee. I agree that it makes no sense for him atm but that hassss to happen later!!))

Zoe was expecting screaming or shouting, not the harsh, furiously low tone that he took with her. There was something infinitely more terrifying about quiet anger than loud anger. It had just been a kiss, it was short, a lot shorter than the kiss they had shared the night before. The fact that he had gotten so infuriated took her sort of by surprise and she jumped at the whack of his cup against the counter.

Her eyes followed him as he stalked past her, the anger palpable, the tension visible. It took her a moment to follow after him, still sort of shocked at the intensity of his reaction. But she rushed after him, her eyes burning into his back as he walked away.

"Oh come on Kit, seriously? Grow up, don't storm off like a child," she called after him, stopping in the door frame to watch him walk away from her. It hurt, watching him leave in such anger, like a punch to the chest. If she wasn't so furious, she would probably have been crying but as it was, she was too infuriated by his words to be able to cry after him.

Perhaps it was time to just give it up. Maybe it was time to think seriously and find someone who would care about her romantically. Obviously nothing would ever happen between her and Kit, that was certain after the events that had just conspired. Maybe, as much as the thought sent another punch to her chest, it was time to move on.

message 38: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments "No, you need to grow up!" Kit shot back . . . rather childishly he realized, but he was still too angry to really care about that.

And then he truly left. He needed time away from her accusations and kisses and broken eyes.

After he'd wandered about the town in his pajama pants and barefeet, anger in his eyes and sunlight reflecting off his white shirt, Kit finally returned. He wasn't sure if Zoe was still in the house, but he didn't care either way. Well, he did, but he didn't feel like he did. He felt numb and drained, wishing the events of the last twenty-four hours were a nightmare he was about to wake from.

When he scuffed up the stairs and back into the apartment, he grabbed a glass of water and then collapsed on the couch.

message 39: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments As soon as Kit left, Zoe picked up a pillow and screamed. She couldn't believe what had just happened. In less than a day, it was though her entire friendship had been ruined. So she called Julie. Her friend was always great at advice but even better at talking her down when she got so worked up that her brain wouldn't even think about doing any of the techniques she knew would help calm her.

After a lot of screaming, squealing and begging for more details, Julie decided to come around and bring half of her wardrobe with her. Julie, her glamorous Chinese-American friend who used both of her languages to become a legitimate entrepreneur, had been trying to get Zoe out on dates for as long as they had known each other but given her hangups on a certain someone, she had turned each set up attempt down.

They were in Zoe's room when they heard the apartment door open and shut again. After a moment of whisper shouting at each other, Julie strutted out of the room with a red-lipped smile and a flick of ebony hair.

"Christopher, I have amazing news which you are not allowed to turn down otherwise I will completely disown you as my adopted son," she announced, waving her hand in a grand gesture. "We're going to a party tonight. I think everyone here needs to chill out," she informed him, raising her voice and looking over her shoulder towards Zoe's room.

((I figured I'd open their world a little more to try and get the little bit of jealousy going perhaps. If you want me to change anything, just let me know.

Also, this is my vision of Julie (view spoiler)))

message 40: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments ((ack I love her!!))

Kit groaned when he heard Julie's voice. Zoe had either called the cavalry in and he was about to get the lecture of a lifetime, or Julie had just sensed Zoe's mood and waltzed over as she was so prone. But amazing news? Hmm, that wasn't exactly a lecture opener. He cracked his eyes open and looked up at her.

"A party?" he echoed, annoyed at how rough his voice sounded. It was like he'd either been screaming for hours or crying, and neither was true.

((sorry it's short but I'll have length in my next reply ahaha but YES BRING THE JEALOUSY))

message 41: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Julie smiled prettily at Kit's interest, though she was concerned about the sound of his voice. While he looked rough, he didn't look as though he'd been crying for hours. She'd been under the impression that it was Zoe who was distraught by the interaction between the two inseparable friends but she had clearly underestimated how it had affected Kit. "Why yes, a party. Tyler's throwing a rager and he always has the best music and most attractive people."

"I'm even getting ZoZo in a-" Julie paused, looking behind her to realise that the girl herself wasn't actually there. Holding up a finger to Kit, she hurried back to the room and grabbed Zoe's hand.

"No!" she whispered, narrowing her eyes at Julie's determined expression.

"Yes! Don't be a baby!" Julie whispered back, pulling at her even though she knew that Zoe was much stronger than her. With a huff, she let Julie drag her into the living room.

"-dress," she finished with a proud smile. "I even got ZoZo in a dress. So you have to come."

"You can't abandon me with her," Zoe pleaded to Kit with a watery smile, not sure where they were as she stood in one of Julie's skin tight party dresses that she felt the urge to tug down.

message 42: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (last edited Oct 27, 2018 07:17AM) (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments Kit's eyes narrowed as Julie dragged Zoe out. She'd somehow convinced his usually more conservative-dressing friend into a glittery, spray-on concoction. Sure, she wore it well because she was Zoe, but if this was meant to mean something to him . . . it didn't.

He sat up then, eyeing the two of them. He felt like this was some sort of trap, but at the same time he knew Zoe wasn't that kind of person. But then he'd also thought she wasn't the kind of person to blow up the way she had this morning, so perhaps anything was possible.

"I guess we could go," he finally said, inspecting his pajama pants. "Best music sounds appealing."

message 43: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Julie laughed, waving off his suggestion with a toss of her hand. "That's so adorable. Did you hear that ZoZo? He thought he had a choice. That's too cute," she teased with a friendly wink, dancing herself back into Zoe's room to her own soundtrack. A lot of people claimed her to be a flirt but everyone who knew Julie knew not to take her friendliness as anything other than that.

Zoe shifted from foot to foot, the awkward weight pressing against her chest as she tried to figure out what she was supposed to say to him. It felt...weird. She hated it. Everything was normally so comfortable between them, she'd have given anything at that moment to just make it comfortable between them again.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was tentative, quiet. Even after all the years she'd known Kit, been best friends with him, she had suddenly become unsure as to how he would react to her. "For blowing up on you this morning. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"Oh ZoZo," Julie sang from her room as she music from the speaker got steadily louder. "Getting ready's the best part of a party, come on."

message 44: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments Kit fixed Julie with a glare. It was slightly tempered by a raised eyebrow, but he still wasn't in the mood to be told what he was and wasn't doing. He never was in that kind of mood, but especially not today.

"It's cute that you think you can order me around," he shot back, getting to his feet and heading to his room.

But he was going to his room to do exactly what she'd "ordered" so his comment wasn't really that serious, was it? He glanced at Zoe after her whispered apology, the annoyance on his features shifting as he realized that she was probably feeling as bad about her actions as he was about his. And they weren't the type to avoid conflict so much or leave grievances unsettled, so he nodded his head at her in acceptance of her apology before heading to his room.

He didn't have to do much to get ready for a party. Just throw on jeans, a nicer than usual shirt, and shrug on a vest to spice it up. He ruffled his hair in his mirror, decided not to shave, and then stepped back into the living room to wait for the girls.

message 45: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Julie had gone all out considering it was one of the only times she was able to get Zoe out for a party where she actually cared about impressing members of the opposite sex. She'd curled her hair so it fell down her back in voluminous, soft waves, covering part of the deep exposed back of the black dress. The smokiness of her makeup made her chocolate brown eyes smoulder with mystery and the heels made her legs look endless. While she usually skipped makeup and kept her wardrobe limited to sweatpants and athleisure wear, Zoe felt herself actually loving how she looked

After Julie had taken the mandatory million pictures of the two of them, she strutted out with Zoe in tow and gave Kit a look of appraisal. "Perfect, are we ready to go?" She didn't wait for an answer before announcing that their Uber was there and leaving them behind as she left the apartment.

"That girl is crazy," Zoe laughed, letting her head fall back as she shook it slightly at the antics of her friend. She locked the door behind them, dropping her keys into the small bag that hung off her shoulder.

Julie chatted their ears off in the car ride, making friends with their driver and easing the tension that still seemed to fill the air between the two best friends. If Zoe was being honest, she didn't regret was happened between them, only the way it was handled. It was something that she'd wanted and it had given her the answers that she needed.

And it was those answers that led her to give a flirtatious smile in response to Tyler Rhodes wink as he opened the door for them to let the trio inside.

"Well well well, if it isn't Zoe Draver," he drawled, settling an arm over her shoulders as they walked further inside. "I feel honored, it's not often you come to these and somehow look more gorgeous than usual," he flirted, never one to lack confidence even without alcohol influencing him. He held out his free hand to do a complicated handshake with Julie and then did one of those boy head nods at Kit. "Hey man," he greeted before returning his attention to Zoe. It felt weird being receptive to his attention rather then laughing it off but there was honestly something nice about the weight of his arm on her shoulders and the gleam of his smile as he made her laugh,

((Honestly, I have no idea what that was. If it's alright, awesome. If not, I'll change it.))

message 46: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments While the tension had lessened between them, Kit wondered if it would ever completely disappear. He and Zoe sat next to each other in the back of the car, Julie on her other side. He didn't avoid her eyes or stay silent, but he didn't initiate anything. He felt shuttered, every move analyzed before he acted on it; everything he said turned over for possible double-meanings or misunderstandings before he spoke it.

He hated it.

He also realized, as they stepped out of the car, that he really didn't want to be here. He was here because he was trying to appear as normal as possible, when his normality had been shattered into seemingly unfix-able pieces. He was here because he was still trying to apologize to Zoe, and trying to show that he understood that this was a sort-of apology from her, too.

"Hey," he said to Tyler.

Kit then moved past the girls and into the house, looking for caffeine. He passed a keg and considered it, but knew he shouldn't . . . especially in his current mood. Maybe he'd do something even more stupid than he'd done last night, like try to explain to Zoe that he loved her but not in the way she wanted. Or he'd maybe kiss her again, his body acting on the impulses that unforgettable dream kept trying to make him think were his real desires.

He got a cup of coffee, accepted a splash of whiskey so he could say he was drinking. And then he saw Zoe dancing with Tyler in a way she would have never danced with anyone. He frowned. She was better than rebounding and she knew it. But if he said anything as his best-friend urges were telling him to, she would probably start another damn fight.

Before he could look away and hope she wouldn't do anything more stupid than some dancing, she caught him staring at the two of them.

((mkay leaving that here for you to do with as you want xD))

message 47: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments Maybe it was the fact that everyone else around her was at least tipsy or the fact that the shots she was being offered were starting to sound more and more appealing, but Zoe found herself following Tyler as he led her to the edge of a mass of dancing bodies. Dancing had never been her biggest love but she knew that she could move, she just never really danced.

It started off with some basic moving from foot to foot while singing along until she found her eyes searching for Kit and had to scold her heart for still pining over her best friend.

It was ridiculous to believe there would ever be anything more between them and she just needed to get over that fact rather than holding on to a childish dream.

Her hips started to move, following the people around her until her back was against Tyler's chest, his arm wrapped across her stomach to keep her close. His free hand pulled her hair away from her neck and she could feel what he was going to do. It nearly made her freeze until she felt eyes on her.

There he was.

He was a mug in a sea of solo cups, his eyes trained on her and Tyler.

A flurry of hope swelled in her stomach. Could it be jealousy? She quashed that though immediately. He had made his feelings clear. He was just being protective.

Zoe raised her hand, trying to push away the pain to give him her reassuring best friend smile.

Tyler's lips brushed her neck. She gulped and let him continue until his finger tilted her chin. Her lips touched his and she tried not to think about Kit as he kissed her.

message 48: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments (("a mug in a sea of solo cups" wow what a sentence I've read that over and over internally shrieking over the beauty and power of it LET'S DO THIS))

Kit didn't want to watch her kiss someone else because it made his lips burn with the memory of him kissing her, of her kissing him. But he couldn't look away—not yet. He was frozen with something that echoed of jealousy but it couldn't be that since they were just friends.

He had to stop this.

He went back to the kitchen and put down his coffee for a long, long swallow from the whisky. Then he picked up his mug again, head bent as the liquor surged through him, mingling with regret.

Why had he just done that? What was there to run from?

Kit looked up and his eyes instinctively found Zoe again, still entwined with Tyler like he was the sky and she was the stars. Ugh, it was really quite awful.

"You look terrible," Julie said, coming into the kitchen with an already-empty cup.

"I intend to get drunk," he replied automatically, taking a sip from his coffee.

"On coffee?"

He grimaced at her, reaching for the whisky and taking another long pull. "No."

"Okay, you get into one fight with your best friend and start chasing alcohol?" Julie raised an eyebrow. "Seems a bit more than that, buddy."

He didn't reply, just scowled at her and left the kitchen. He leaned against a wall at the outskirts of everything, watching things from over the rim of his mug. He felt a little tipsy, caffeine mixing with the alcohol, and wondered when they could go home.

message 49: by Jaz (new)

Jaz | 415 comments ((Ooohh thank you!! I was very proud of that line, it felt very indie romance xP))

There was something wrong about kissing Tyler and maybe that was exhilarating. Zoe always stayed so strict with herself; how she ate, how she acted, how she was around Kit. Messing up and kissing Kit had been a rush, one that left her hurt. Kissing Tyler didn't feel the same but it still felt like a right kind of wrong.

Hard muscles and bitter alcohol, a dream that she was sure most girls here would be delighted to have but it still just felt like a kiss.

It wasn't molten lava and a Maserati heart like it had been with Kit.

But it was nice. It felt good. It was a long overdue pressure finally being released.

Tyler finally let her go with a grin that looked like he'd just won the lottery. It should have made her feel more special but it was just sweet. He asked if she wanted a drink and there was a part of her that wanted to say yes but she declined. She'd broken a lot of her rules tonight but she still didn't want to break one too many.

He would find her, probably end up taking forever because he got caught in conversation with countless people there and back, so Zoe decided to leave.

She was rumpled and flushed, dancing and kissing and getting so much attention would do that to you. When she spotted Kit, alone and away from the heat of the crowd, she made her way over and leaned against the wall next to him.

"I'm gonna be surprised if that's just coffee in there," she quipped, hoping to lighten the mood that had settled between them after her mistake earlier.

message 50: by ♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (new)

♠ Tabi⁷ ♠ (tabi_card) | 1064 comments Kit didn't expect her to come to him, but she did. He was glad . . . and also furious. She wasn't supposed to see him like this, sulking from alcohol and mixed emotions.

Or was she? Wasn't that the point of him drinking so she could feel bad about putting him in a position he wanted nothing but escape from?

Either way, he gave her an almost-smile that didn't reach his eyes, and raised his mug in a salute of greeting.

"Then you're not gonna be surprised," he drawled, taking a sip.

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