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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 1201:
by
Hallie
(new)
Jul 15, 2017 02:45AM
And I brought it on myself. I did it deliberately. I did it for the masochist in me. I lied so that no one would find out this could be dangerous. I could have gotten help but I didn't so that I could get a dangerous disease and die. I pretended like I was alright and didn't feel a lot of pain. I was happy when the pain didn't go away, and when I felt that there was blood oozing out. I did it. And I hope I succeed.
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I shouldn't have told them at all. I should have tried to hide it.
*shrugs* Having fun at your cousin's? :)
Seriously though, what would people who know me miss if I was never born?
I want to sleep right now and never wake up. Not for dinner, not tomorrow, not ever.
I want to sleep right now and never wake up. Not for dinner, not tomorrow, not ever.
I'm just going to sleep now. Fingers crossed that I won't wake up forever.
Hallie wrote: "Seriously though, what would people who know me miss if I was never born?"I would miss YOU. You are a great friend
My friends don't talk to me anymore....
Talk to me.... Someone.... Or I swear I
You swear you'll what mate? Good morning Miss Hallie (or rather good afternoon or evening wherever you live) hope it's going rather well for you! Do you like music? Like bands and any of that jiff?
Yay Lorien to the rescue from stupid Hallie overdosing! It's 11:30 here :) I'm just craptastic. I mean I wouldn't mind in the ceiling fell on me right now, and I literally had nightmares about that when I first moved in six years ago. Yep, but I'm more of a pop person with some interest in Linkin Park and others.
On your birthday, you have 14% higher chance of dying.Well, if this is true, my birthday's in less than a month, and I'd love for it to happen.
Ah man, that stinks. Whatever is the matter dear Hallie? Poppy person? Very, very interesting. ^.^ What does Linkin Park sound like? Pffft. Sorry. That was a stupid question. XD Have you listened to Morriessy or The Smiths? How about OMD?
Everything. I had extremely rough days since Friday. Linkin Park sounds amazing! I used to listen to a couple of their songs every single day before I heard pop songs. Oh no, it's not! xD I have no clue who Melanie Mersomething is even though I'm a pop person xD Nope. I could try some songs now. I have my earbuds in my ears :)
Yikes! Poor, poor Hallie! Oh cool! I'm always looking for new bands (I recently found out about St. Lucia, HAIM, Stiff Little Fingers, and The Adicts a few days ago) so I'll definitely check out Linkin Park. Any recs as far as songs go? Haha! You'll probably regret saying that since I love to give people HUGE lists of songs they could listen to. Very well. You don't have to listen to all of them but these are a few I enjoy immensely. ^.^Suspect Device (Single Version) - Stiff Little Fingers
Alternative Ulster - Stiff Little Fingers
78 R. P. M. - Stiff Little Fingers
Enola Gay - OMD
Forever (Live and Die) - OMD
Secret - OMD
Electricity - OMD
This Charming Man - The Smiths
There is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
Pretty Girls Make Graves (Troy Tate Version) - The Smiths
Shoplifters of the World - The Smiths
You're the One For Me Fatty - Morriessy
Suedehead - Morriessy
Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
Change - Tears for Fears
Dancing on Glass - St. Lucia
We Got it Wrong - St. Lucia
All Eyes On You - St. Lucia
The Sun Always Shines on TV - Aha
Train of Thought - Aha
Celice - Aha
Infected - Bad Religion
Atomic Garden - Bad Religion
Anesthesia - Bad Religion
The Grand Delusion - Bad Religion
Pray to God (ft. HAIM) - Calvin Harris
Forever - HAIM
Don't Save Me - HAIM
Days Are Gone - HAIM
Melodymania - Pegboard Nerds
Fade - Alan Walker
Sky - Alan Walker
Sing Me to Sleep - Alan Walker
Haha! Sorry. That took a bit longer than I thought it would. 😅
Wow thank you! I'm actually looking for more music, so I don't think I'll regret it unless it's bad :D I forgot the names of the others, but I can never forget these two by Linkin Park: Numb and In The End. Let me just try to recall the others because it's been a long time since I listened to those.Yay Faded by Alan Walker! I absolutely love that one! And Calvin Harris!!!!! (Sorry, I really like him :) ) I think I've heard Train of Thought in my brother's playlist xD
Hallie wrote: "Thank you for the lie."That is not a lie Hallie!!
Hallie wrote: "On your birthday, you have 14% higher chance of dying.Well, if this is true, my birthday's in less than a month, and I'd love for it to happen."
Don't you dare die Hallie
My birthday is in two weeks
❄️Ƙανу тнє Ƒαℓℓєη Aηgєℓ❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Thank you for the lie."That is not a lie Hallie!!"
It is! I don't want to accuse you of being a liar, but that but isn't true.
❄️Ƙανу тнє Ƒαℓℓєη Aηgєℓ❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) wrote: "Hallie wrote: "On your birthday, you have 14% higher chance of dying.Well, if this is true, my birthday's in less than a month, and I'd love for it to happen."
Don't you dare die Hallie
My bir..."
Two weeks + 6 days for mine. I actually have something important that ends on your birthday.
To-do List
• Incognito searches
• Change Gmail password without brother knowing
• Find out the best app lock that can never ever be opened. Ever. Not even if Scotland Yard tries to hack into my phone for information.
I don't know what's wrong (or maybe I do), but I'm sorry, I just can't keep going on. It's getting harder and harder day by day to do things - even if I used to previously enjoy them.
Over the past few weeks, I noticed that my sleep schedule has gone bonkers. I get really strange dreams, and often rather scary ones that make me not want to sleep the next night. Last night I had a dream in which I was cleaning the door of my bookshelf with soap water (??), and something that I don't remember happened, but it frightened me a lot. I also find it really, really, really hard to focus on a single thing, and lose interest to do anything and everything. I also tend to forget things easily. By forget, I mean I forgot my parents' names.
And my parents are making life "extremely pleasant for me". For instance, my dad told me this morning, "Hal, you didn't polish my shoes! Look they are white!" Oh, did you see the inner back of my shoe? It has a stain of reddish brown. Ever cared about that?
Basically, the only option I see now is to give up.
Answer this honestly: Do you think suicide is cowardice?
![Jaxon(Jax)[They-He] | 4642 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1749715398p1/46156450.jpg)
Hallie wrote: "❄️Ƙανу тнє Ƒαℓℓєη Aηgєℓ❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Thank you for the lie."That is not a lie Hallie!!"
It is! I don't want to accuse you of being a liar, but that but isn't true."
It is not a lie Hallie I love you
Hallie wrote: "I don't know what's wrong (or maybe I do), but I'm sorry, I just can't keep going on. It's getting harder and harder day by day to do things - even if I used to previously enjoy them.
Over the p..."
Don't you dare give up Hallie
I have a headache today.... And a plan to finish this all.
This headache is getting the best of me.
Headache and other stuff.I'm going to lie down now. I can't even read a book with this.
How are migraines supposed to feel like?
There you go, my internal storage space is full again. And I'm still in the last episode of season 5....
But season 6 has only about 20 episodes, and if I can finish those 12 that I have soon, then the final season has just 21.
B O R E D ! ! !
Also Hallie, I have some family members in London, they are with me in Australia rn but there may be a chance I may come to London sometime in the future idk when tho
Wow yay!!! :) You really should come! It's not Disneyland, but it's still cool.
Chester Bennington's dead?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?!!?!?!
On Chris Cornell's birthday. Hmmm.... I can't do that. I'd have to wait till next May or this October, but both of those days are too far away.
Hallie wrote: "Chester Bennington's dead?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?!!?!?!"Hallie wrote: "S-s-suicide? Crap!"
:(
Hallie wrote: "On Chris Cornell's birthday. Hmmm.... I can't do that. I'd have to wait till next May or this October, but both of those days are too far away."Hallie don't you dare
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