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message 1: by Kristin (new)

Kristin Yodock | 17 comments Hi Readers,

I've written a 35k, MG fantasy novel, and I would like some feedback on plot, character development, flow, etc.

The basic premise:

When 12-year-old Aiden Greene, a typical, run-of-the-mill kid, encounters a beady-eyed goblin, who reveals that his parents were sent to a horrible place filled with creepy creatures, he has no choice, but to slip through his bedroom mirror into the secret, enchanted kingdom of Sirethiel.

That's when things start to get complicated, and Aiden becomes determined to do whatever it takes, to find the golden key and exchange it for their lives.

Once inside, he stumbles upon a clog-clicking gnome and his spunky science partner Emma, who is also now trapped in Sirethiel. The trio embarks on the quest of a lifetime when they sail across the lilac sea with a quirky pirate to Thunder Rock seeking the counsel of the Great White Dragon. The dragon warns of the perilous journey that lay ahead and agrees to help. Soon they're battling with giant man-eating ogres and dueling with dark green witches in the Enhanced Forest. And suddenly nothing seems sure, other than the necessity to find the elusive key before Sirethiel is overrun by darkness, and Aiden's parents are lost forever.

Would you be interested in reading my story? If so you can email me at or message me here.

Thanks for your time,


message 2: by Ripley (new)

Ripley Jordan (RipleyJordan) | 9 comments I'll take a look.

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