World, Writing, Wealth discussion

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message 1: by Mehreen (last edited Oct 15, 2016 12:36AM) (new)

Mehreen Ahmed (mehreen2) | 1907 comments What is better? To have loved and lost or, not to have loved at all? Why?


message 2: by Nik (new)

Nik Krasno | 15397 comments Wonder whether romance writers should be experts on this -:)


message 3: by Mehreen (new)

Mehreen Ahmed (mehreen2) | 1907 comments Nik wrote: "Wonder whether romance writers should be experts on this -:)"

Lol> Not necessarily.


message 4: by Michel (new)

Michel Poulin I prefer to have loved and lost, rather than not to have loved at all. At least, that way I will have known what love is. Yes, losing your loved one(s) (either through death or separation) is painful, but a whole life without love must be the saddest thing you could experience.


message 5: by Mehreen (new)

Mehreen Ahmed (mehreen2) | 1907 comments Michel wrote: "I prefer to have loved and lost, rather than not to have loved at all. At least, that way I will have known what love is. Yes, losing your loved one(s) (either through death or separation) is painf..."

True.


kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ (percybluefood) | 145 comments I prefer to have love and lost, love is an amazing feeling but sometimes it can destroy you love is one of the most powerful things. I believe in True love tho


message 7: by Daniel J. (new)

Daniel J. Nickolas (danieljnickolas) | 111 comments I am a little late to this conversation, but ...

Sometimes love is an unrequited thing; sometimes the unrequited feeling is mutually assumed, mistakenly thought, and only too late do you realize you both were being school children.

It is nice to say "let me love and then lose", but if you've never loved, you've never lost.

I would argue that the question itself is flawed.


message 8: by Mehreen (new)

Mehreen Ahmed (mehreen2) | 1907 comments Daniel J. wrote: "I am a little late to this conversation, but ...

Sometimes love is an unrequited thing; sometimes the unrequited feeling is mutually assumed, mistakenly thought, and only too late do you realize y..."


Why is it flawed? To have loved and lost. Or never to have loved at all. I think your statement is flawed. The question does not indicate anything that you are referring to. For if you have never loved then that's it. End of story.


message 9: by Mehreen (new)

Mehreen Ahmed (mehreen2) | 1907 comments Hermione Granger (aka. Kavy Jackson Fullbuster)~Trying to hide the pain~ wrote: "I prefer to have love and lost, love is an amazing feeling but sometimes it can destroy you love is one of the most powerful things. I believe in True love tho"

True love is the key.


message 10: by Alex (new)

Alex (asato) Mehreen wrote: "True love is the key. "

is true love, the love that lasts?

most people would say it's better to have love and lost. it is hard to avoid. it's the human condition.


message 11: by Mehreen (new)

Mehreen Ahmed (mehreen2) | 1907 comments Alex G wrote: "Mehreen wrote: "True love is the key. "

is true love, the love that lasts?

most people would say it's better to have love and lost. it is hard to avoid. it's the human condition."


What is the human condition? To have loved and lost?


message 12: by Nik (new)

Nik Krasno | 15397 comments I say, if you lost love -:(, go find one (again), try to at least -:)


message 13: by Joanne (new)

Joanne I think that if we wanted to, we could engage in a deeper conversation. What if there were no right answer to this question? What if it depended on the situation. Lets take a few examples:

1. Death. In this case, have you really lost the person you love?

2. Romantic love and rejection. The situation may be one where the person cannot move on and find someone else. Hopefully they can though. It helps them learn what kind of person is most compatible for them.

3. Romantic love and abuse. I would argue in this case that it is better that the person had not loved. I knew a woman who was hospitalized from physical abuse from her husband.

4. Love and the parting of ways. Well, what reasons do people decide to break up? Cheating? incompatibility? Do they sometimes decide the passion is gone? They just don't love each other anymore? Divorce. People in families who no longer speak to each other. I just want to throw out there that I think people should fight for love more. However if you were with someone for a season then they are gone, maybe you can still remember some good things.


message 14: by Alex (new)

Alex (asato) Mehreen wrote: "What is the human condition? To have loved and lost? "

correct.

what is true love?

to opine on Joanne's list:

1) Death -- love is not lost. loss is rejection by one or more of the parties. it is still devastating.
2) Romantic love and rejection -- this is to have loved and lost.
3) Romantic love and abuse -- this is not love.
4) Love and the parting of ways -- this is to have loved and lost.


message 15: by Mehreen (new)

Mehreen Ahmed (mehreen2) | 1907 comments Alex G wrote: "Mehreen wrote: "What is the human condition? To have loved and lost? "

correct.

what is true love?

to opine on Joanne's list:

1) Death -- love is not lost. loss is rejection by one or more of t..."


Death is an absolute loss. But to have loved and died for better or for worse is beyond us.


kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ (percybluefood) | 145 comments is it really possible to just stop loving someone who was your first love? because I never stopped loving my ex-bf who was my first love, and we're friends rn, our relationship only lasted a month, but we'd been good friends for a while. I met him last year in september or october, and we became really good friends, well we first saw each other in our first anime club meeting at school, and since it was my first anime club meet most of the ppl were new to me so I was like really shy and quiet, but then the next day, my ex came over to me and talked to me, one of the first things he said was "you don't talk much do you?" and then we became really good friends, and then along the way I started developing feelings for him, and then I had a crush on him, and then a few months later I started falling in love with him, and then we only dated for a month or so before he broke up with me, he broke up with me because he said that we didn't have much in common besides anime, and our personalities didn't go together, and it was just him, but I was still in love with him, I couldn't stop loving him, then three weeks later we became friends again, but in the summer I decided to give him some time and space cause I felt we need some time apart, and in the beginning of the school year, I still gave him time and space, even tho I still loved him, and we were friends, but I had a thought he didn't care, so I let him go, cause I wanted him to be happy but then a couple of weeks ago, we went on a field trip to a University in Advanced Graphics design, and my ex's class- he's Advanced Audio/Video production, and they came with us, and my ex came over to talk to me, and it seemed like he cared, and then my feelings for him returned, and I have a feeling he still loves me, and now he's back, we're not together yet, but we are good friends, and I have a feeling we're going to become close again, and my love for him seems really strong, and I can't stop loving him no matter what. and I read some quotes on first love, and I don't think it is possible to just stop loving someone like that.


message 17: by Graeme (new)

Graeme Rodaughan Michel wrote: "I prefer to have loved and lost, rather than not to have loved at all. At least, that way I will have known what love is. Yes, losing your loved one(s) (either through death or separation) is painf..."

I agree completely with Michel.

I life without love (even with loss) is a life of deep, soul crushing poverty.

It is also why a fully lived life is tragic because you will inevitably lose those that you love. (Unless you are the first to die...)


message 18: by Graeme (new)

Graeme Rodaughan Mehreen wrote: "What is the human condition? To have loved and lost?..."

Love and loss are both central (but not exhaustive) elements of the human condition.


message 19: by Graeme (new)

Graeme Rodaughan Alex G wrote: "1) Death -- love is not lost. loss is rejection by one or more of the parties. it is still devastating.
2) Romantic love and rejection -- this is to have loved and lost.
3) Romantic love and abuse -- this is not love.
4) Love and the parting of ways -- this is to have loved and lost...."


I'm in agreement with Alex's four points.


message 20: by Graeme (new)

Graeme Rodaughan Kavy Jackson Fullbuster wrote: "is it really possible to just stop loving someone who was your first love? because I never stopped loving my ex-bf who was my first love, and we're friends rn, our relationship only lasted a month,..."

Thanks for sharing Kavy. I hope your situation comes to a resolution for you.


message 21: by Nik (new)

Nik Krasno | 15397 comments Kavy Jackson Fullbuster wrote: " I don't think it is possible to just stop loving someone like that. ..."

Your story sounds like perfect teen/YA relationship: overall exciting, intensive, but with its highs and lows, of course -:)
I guess if you continue together there will be no need to stop loving and test it, while if you don't - you'd probably better stop after a while in order to become emotionally free to develop a new love. The new love may outshine the predecessor, but it can be so that each one still occupies a tiny place in one's heart.
Just my opinion, of course, and I'm probably not the best adviser on romantic affairs -:)


message 22: by Mehreen (new)

Mehreen Ahmed (mehreen2) | 1907 comments Kavy Jackson Fullbuster wrote: "is it really possible to just stop loving someone who was your first love? because I never stopped loving my ex-bf who was my first love, and we're friends rn, our relationship only lasted a month,..."

Love if you must but try not to lose him.


kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ (percybluefood) | 145 comments Thanks guys


kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ (percybluefood) | 145 comments Nik wrote: "Kavy Jackson Fullbuster wrote: " I don't think it is possible to just stop loving someone like that. ..."

Your story sounds like perfect teen/YA relationship: overall exciting, intensive, but with..."


Lol my love story should be made into an actual book lol


message 25: by Nik (new)

Nik Krasno | 15397 comments But then you'd probably need more drama. Not sure you want that -:)


message 27: by Alex (last edited Nov 02, 2016 10:45AM) (new)

Alex (asato) first love is quite a bit different than later ones. that's why bildungsroman is a genre/trope. my first girlfriend dumped me. a year later, under a dim streetlight, i balled my eyes out and begged her to take me back. that was pitiful.

then again, one of my best friends married his high school sweetheart after college.


message 28: by Kevin (last edited Nov 07, 2016 07:11AM) (new)

Kevin Kuhn (kevinkuhn) | 45 comments I'm definitely in the "love and lost" category, but somewhat lucky as I'm currently in year 26 of a very happy marriage. Even though studies show that having children lowers your day to day happiness, I can't imagine going through this life without experiencing lasting love and raising children. Both can be frustrating at times, both have ups and downs, but personally, I find it hard to picture going through my life without my family.


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