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message 1: by Rohvannyn (new)

Rohvannyn Shaw | 189 comments We all know how important it is to have reviews for our books. Advance reader reviews, positive buyer reviews, etc. My latest book (a humorous one) had three fake reviews on the back, so I thought it would be fun to see if anyone else had fake reviews to share.

This was inspired by the fake titles thread.

Here are my three:

"Five stars on Yelp!" -- Jeff

(that was a quote from a coworker who constantly says that.)

"This... ...is... ...a... ...book." -- The Marshington Times

(a multitude of sins can be hidden by well placed ellipses...)

"The most influential book I've taken into the bathroom in quite some time." -- Joe McGershkowitz, Aviation Author

(Too bad my book is about corporate humor, not airplanes.)

Is anyone else inspired by this idea? Have any of your own?


message 2: by Justin (new)

Justin (justinbienvenue) | 787 comments Never considered it until I read this. It's silly alright but also quite clever lol. Consider me inspired.


message 3: by Ben (new)

Ben Jackson | 86 comments Ha Ha I like it!


message 4: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4346 comments Mod
Rohvannyn wrote: "Is anyone else inspired by this idea?"

Never occurred to me. Nope.

~Dwayne Fry, author of The Incredibly Toxic Online Reviews of Tempest Moody


message 5: by Rohvannyn (new)

Rohvannyn Shaw | 189 comments ~Dwayne Fry, author of The Incredibly Toxic Online Reviews of Tempest Moody"

I like that one!


message 6: by Jane (new)

Jane Jago | 888 comments The silliest review I ever saw was from someone who shall remain nameless and trashed a novel because...

... the main protagonist is a lesbian.

Sigh


message 7: by Zoltán (new)

Zoltán (witchhunter) | 267 comments Jane Jago wrote: "The silliest review I ever saw was from someone who shall remain nameless and trashed a novel because...

... the main protagonist is a lesbian.

Sigh"


I'm sure he was just frustrated as he fell in love with the character :D


message 8: by C.L. (last edited Oct 19, 2016 10:17AM) (new)

C.L. Lynch (cllynchauthor) | 316 comments My friend and biggest superfan posted this meme the other day saying this is what she would write to review my book. I think it was hilarious:fanreviews


message 9: by Zoltán (last edited Oct 19, 2016 03:53PM) (new)

Zoltán (witchhunter) | 267 comments "Rofflecopter LMAO OMG LOL KEK! Diz drama rulez!1! 2 many txt in teh st0ry IMO." - 1337ridr (Renowned contemporary blogger.)

"Clear and shiny!" - Washing Townpost

"Felt drawn like it was a black-hole! Totally falling for it. I simply cannot put it down. (Help!??)" - Steve Hallking

"I was amazed to get a copy of this non-existing book! (It's not on Facebook) I want to like it, but can't!" - Marcus Sugarhill

"A bit legacy looking book with those margins, but I managed to cut it into cards and it looks great. Time to upgrade to Doors10!" - Will Portals

"Resistance was futile! I assimilated it!" - 28377 of 64838 of the Borg


message 10: by Truant (new)

Truant Memphis (truant_memphis) | 7 comments Rohvannyn wrote: "We all know how important it is to have reviews for our books. Advance reader reviews, positive buyer reviews, etc. My latest book (a humorous one) had three fake reviews on the back, so I thought ..."

My next book is a farce I wrote 4 years ago and am just now cleaning up to publish. My plan was nothing but fake reviews for the back page. My favorite idea thus far:

"The fastest action sequences I've ever read."

Haven't figured out who to fake credit.


message 11: by C.L. (new)

C.L. Lynch (cllynchauthor) | 316 comments A turtle maybe?


message 12: by Truant (new)

Truant Memphis (truant_memphis) | 7 comments C.L. wrote: "A turtle maybe?"

Hahaha...nice!


message 13: by Rohvannyn (new)

Rohvannyn Shaw | 189 comments These are amazing. I especially like the meme. Here's another.

Novel: Now, with words! - bibliophiles anonymous


message 14: by C.B., Beach Body Moderator (new)

C.B. Archer | 1090 comments Mod
I always thought it would be fun to market with all of your worst reviews possible.
"Come and see what the people hate!!!" 1 Star!


message 15: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4346 comments Mod
I may have to quit this group. You people are starting to think like me and it's quite scary. You're all mad! Mad!

"This book kept me on the edge of my toilet seat... throwing up into it."

"I could not put this book down... fast enough."

"This is a page turner! I turned at least a hundred pages to find a coherent sentence."

"I was immediately drawn in by the first sentence. By the third, I was bored out of my mind."


message 16: by C.B., Beach Body Moderator (new)

C.B. Archer | 1090 comments Mod
:D

I do like how Dwayne thinks though, which is a scary thought. ... ... 1 star review, 10/10 would not rate again!!!

If you have the right book, and the right bad review, I think that could really work.

Example: A funny book with out there humour combined with a dry review by someone that doesn't 'get it' why it is funny, hated the part with the dancing space crocodiles, and was upset when the characters escaped the life or death situation by reading the wikipedia entry on their escape to get pointers... would probably appeal to people that would actually get the book.


message 17: by Zoltán (new)

Zoltán (witchhunter) | 267 comments Dwayne wrote: "I may have to quit this group. You people are starting to think like me and it's quite scary. You're all mad! Mad!"

Nah... we are OK. They are mad! :D


message 18: by Kevin (new)

Kevin Kuhn (kevinkuhn) | 20 comments Dwayne - thanks for the laughs today!


Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger) (sammydogs) | 973 comments Wow, Dwayne! You're just itching to use those, aren't ya? LOL! : )


message 20: by Jane (new)

Jane Jago | 888 comments This book grabbed me by the balls. Shame I've been neutered!


message 22: by Kevin (new)

Kevin Kuhn (kevinkuhn) | 20 comments "Couldn't put it down . . . the book was covered in glue."


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