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The Scarlet Thread > The secret to a perfect family!

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message 1: by Britnie (new)

Britnie | 352 comments Mod
How do you feel about Sierras thinking with the best way to have a successful and happy family is to "manage" it perfectly? Is that the secret to having the perfect life?

message 2: by Britnie (new)

Britnie | 352 comments Mod
I don't think it's always that simple. I mean I don't know from experience because I don't have kids yet, but I imagine it's not that easy. You can't just "manage" your family and everything be perfect. It takes more work than that to have a happy family. It takes communication and understanding. That's the big issue between Sierra and Alex is that they have no communication right now. When the parents don't have communication with each other, it passes down to the kids. That I can say from experience.

message 3: by Darlene (new)


I really went back and forth on this question. My first thought was: manage the family? Ha! The best laid plans of mice and men... But I just kept thinking about Proverbs 31. Isn't that what the Proverbs 31 woman does. She manages her family:

1) "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." Her husband trusts her management of their resources. Her industriousness adds to the family income.

2) "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." This woman does not do right only when it is convenient and profitable. Her actions are not based on how she is treated by others or by what others think. Her character is steady. She is reliable and dependable.

3) "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands." Making sure her family has what they need and she does this willingly and with a good attitude.

4) "She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar." She makes sure her family has quality and healthful food to eat.

5) "She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." Making breakfast and lunches for the family before they go off to school and work for the day.

6) "She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard." She does what she can to help her family financially.

7) "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." She works hard for her family

8) "She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night." She knows that her merchandise is good and takes pride in doing a good job. She stays up late to make sure her responsibilities toward are family are completed for the day.

9) "She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." She is compassionate in her actions. Setting an example to her family by providing meals for a sick neighbor, visits those in need in the hospital or just a lonely widow down the street.

10) "When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet." Providing clothing for the family is one of her responsibilities. She takes this seriously, and plans ahead. She does not practice crisis management.

11) "She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple." She has high standards and dresses properly for the occasion.

12) "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." This man does not have to spend half his time trying to straighten out problems at home, and his success in the social world comes partly from her support, just as her success comes partly from his support.
"She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes." This woman runs a business from her home. Her efforts and industry add to the family income.

13) "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." This woman is well read and has the facts. She knows what she is talking about. She is able to express herself intelligently, tactfully and diplomatically. People come to her for good advice.

14) "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." She is an organized, energetic person who carries out her responsibilities.

With all that being said, does this necessarily lead to a successful and happy family? That's where I waiver. We can do everything we are supposed to do, we can be the Proverbs 31 woman the best we are able, but ultimately we can not control how others act.
I feel like that answer is all over the place!

message 4: by Michelle (new)

Michelle Esparza | 119 comments This is a pretty intense question, that I have really taken time to think about.
I think that the word/action "manage" can be used for good and for bad. Us, wives and mothers, need to be managers of our home. A LOT of the home responsibilities fall on us and therefore we need to be as organized as possible. I feel that a home without healthy "management" is bound for chaos, disrespect, and roles flipped around to where the children are the boss. However, there is a balance to this because if our "managing" style is more of a manipulator or dictator, we will squash our husbands and children. With this said, I enjoy the managing role as a wife and mother. I do take it seriously but also take this role with love and compassion in my heart. I will do the best I can but at the same time, I understand that things happen and don't always go the way we planned. Above all, I want to be a woman of God and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit so He can guide me in His ways and help me to be the Wife and Mama that He wants me to be in our home.

This could be a difficult and personal question to answer. I thank Britnie, Ruthie, and Darlene for being honest and sharing with everyone =)

message 5: by Darlene (new)

Darlene Michelle - you answered that so much more eloquently than I did. I love your answer.

message 6: by Britnie (new)

Britnie | 352 comments Mod
I loved everyones opinions on this question. You know it's funny because as I was reading through everyones answers what popped into my mind was Bree from Desperate Housewives. She was the in image the PERFECT family. She had the perfect hair, with the perfect children and the perfect husband. She cooked gourmet meals and made muffin baskets as a welcome to new neighbors. She was always the one to plan the dinner parties for all the other moms on the street. She was who everyone looked up to as a wife and mom.... from the outside. What everyone didn't know is the chaos that was really going on her. Her kids LITERALLY hated her and she even tried murdering her husband sub-conciously with a salad! Sometimes you can do everything perfectly and still have things messed up. Nothing is going to be perfect all the time. You just need to have Faith in God and hope that you did everything you could in raising your kids and hope that they have listened to you for the past 18 years. Just a side note I thought of.

message 7: by Michelle (new)

Michelle Esparza | 119 comments Awww thanks Auntie Darlene.

Britnie, so very true! And all I can add to that is, I definitely don't want to be in the mindset of murdering my husband with a salad. Although, sometimes he acts like I'm killing him for making him eats greens sometimes, LOL. Just kidding! He enjoys the greens....

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