A Man Called Ove A Man Called Ove question

Am I the only one who...? [SPOILERS]
Rachel Rachel Oct 03, 2016 01:46PM
...was kind of horrified by the thought of Ove as a father? I am not by any means saying I'm happy about the bus crash. The double loss of the child-to-be and Sonja's mobility is terrible. But with Ove's temper and inflexibility, I can't help thinking he would not make a good father.

Well, you are right that Ove wouldn't have been a good father but in my opinion that is only true to the older Ove... I don't think Ove was such a hard person before Sonja died and before he lost his child... His anger\temper and inflexibility increased a lot after the accident the then Sonja's death. So I think had he not lost he's child he could have been a good father. And by the way, the end of the story proves that Ove can be a warm and good person so probably a child would also have cause him to be a warmer person.

I agree with Noam. Ove's devotion to Saab, due to his father's preference for that auto brand, shows his incredible loyalty and affection for his own father. I think Ove would have been a great dad. If a woman like Sonja was attracted enough to him to marry him, that is good enough for me. He was a man of integrity who got grumpy after 30 years of living with disappointments and "making do," but when given the opportunity, he helped anyone who needed it. At my age, I understand the grumpiness.

And yet Parvaneh's girls love him!

Ove has a love language that a child wouldn't be able to comprehend until older. That's what makes it difficult to grasp. Ove shows love through doing things, but when children are small, they understand touch and speech a lot more than action. Parvaneh's children are able to catch on to this, which you see in the book. I think this could be because he isn't their parent so their frame of reference regarding Ove is more malleable.

I think his attachment to the children of Parvaneh (whose names I can't remember, it has been awhile) proves that he would have been a good father. He loved and cared for Sonja. He loved and cared for Parvaneh and the children. Why do we all have to be fuzzy and let people trample on us? He is like the son in the parable of Jesus that said no he wouldn't work in the vineyard but then went and did it anyway.

Ove would have been a different person completely if Sonja and the child had not died. Their death was the end of the changes that were happening to him.

The loss and the loneliness probably contributed to his grumpiness. I'd imagine before he was too closed off to be a great father but probably not a bad father either.

I think he would have been a wonderful father, devoted and caring.
I cannot help but feel that The bus accident and Sonja's paralysis and subsequent death, made him a lonely, bitter, angry man. The love of his wife and would be child would have made him a better person. Not that I feel he was not a good kind person, but it was difficult for him to relate to people, being alone most of his life with no one to be his role model.

Grief changes us. And the loss of a child is the worst type of loss. I believe that he was a different man before he lost his family.

Did anyone else feel that Ove may have been on the spectrum?

MarilynW I think both Ove and his father might have been on the spectrum.
Mar 05, 2019 01:11AM

Parvaneh's kids loved Ove, I think he'd be a wonderful father. His grumpiness stems from the tragedies he's had to deal with in his life. (losing a kid and having a wife bound in a wheelchair)...that would make me grumpy too!

I think the balance of Sonja and Ove would have created a wonderful family environment.

MarilynW I agree.
Mar 05, 2019 01:12AM

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