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All Things Writing & Publishing > Draft back cover blurb for A Traitor's War

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message 1: by Graeme (new)

Graeme Rodaughan | 7222 comments Draft Blurb...

Anton Slaynes been shot, thrown off a cliff, gagged, hooded, bound and buried alive - and that's just in boot camp.

Wait until the real action starts, as Anton discovers that the Order of Thoth harbours corruption that could get all his friends killed. While a secret alliance between the Red Empire and the Vampire Dominion's premier general, Chloe Armitage, threatens to do the same.

With threats both within and without - will Anton be able to stay alive long enough to clear his family's name and forge a place for himself amongst the vampire hunters of the Order of Thoth?

Please ... Fire away...


message 2: by Nik (new)

Nik Krasno | 13438 comments I think the blurbs hints at LOTS of action, which is good. Maybe even a little of an overkill-:)
Just a few associations:
The boot camp adventures sound a bit unbelievable, until you understand that we are talking of a vampire in the next paragraph..
Corruption usually associates with a non-violent crime, so why all friends can be killed?
Chloe's full title is a little too long for a blurb...
Maybe instead of 'stay alive long enough' - 'survive, clear...' and so on?

Just some thoughts. I hope this helps.
And I think the blurb offers a glimpse at a really high-voltage story!


message 3: by Graeme (new)

Graeme Rodaughan | 7222 comments Thanks Nik,

Much appreciated.

Updated...

Anton Slaynes been shot, thrown off a cliff, gagged, hooded, bound and buried alive - and that's just in vampire hunter boot camp.

Wait until the real action starts, as Anton discovers that the Order of Thoth harbours a traitor that could get all his friends killed. While a secret alliance between the Red Empire and vampire General, Chloe Armitage, threatens to do the same.

With threats both within and without - will Anton be able to stay alive long enough to clear his family's name and forge a place for himself amongst the vampire hunters of the Order of Thoth?


message 4: by Nik (new)

Nik Krasno | 13438 comments Sounds cool to me!


message 5: by Graeme (new)

Graeme Rodaughan | 7222 comments I'm all LOL.

I always end my blurbs on a question. .....

And often my scenes.


message 6: by Graeme (new)

Graeme Rodaughan | 7222 comments Thanks Nik.

I'll probably go with something like this.

Cheers Graeme


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