Let's All Write STORIES!!! discussion

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HELP!!!! HELP!!!! HELP!!!!

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message 1: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Can someone please help me??
I have an idea for a story, where a music box gives these four friends the 'Sight' and it turns out they're part of a 'Prediction'/'Prophcey', invloving an underground world of goblins and an aboveground secret world only they can see.
A ruthless princial (unnamed, I need some help on that) discovers the secret world and wants to kill everything magical (dragons, fairies,) because he thinks the world would be cleaner without "scum like this".

He needs to get the music box, so he can have the 'Sight' and therefore destroy the secret world. The four kids need to protect it with their lives, and at the same time complete the 'Prediction' they were mentioned in.
But the trouble is, I don't know what the 'Prediction' should be, (don't you think I should have thought of that already?!) and what they should do to protect the music box. I could just write "they protected it for years and years" but that would get realllly booorrring.
So I need some serious ideas and help!!


message 2: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi well, is the prediction something good, or does it like scare them, say something about death or something? and is anyone else mentioned in this prophasy besides them? figure out what needs to be in it first, then find the actual words. it could say something and the kids think it means something completely different. like this one book I read Gregor and the Prophecy of Bane. that said in one part "Die the baby, die his heart" he thought it meant if his baby sister died, he'd be brokenhearted. actually it meant if he killed this baby monster named bane his heart would lose feelings of mercy and stuff. Prophecies are hard to handle if you don't know haw the whole story is going to follow.


message 3: by Janeen-san (last edited Jul 30, 2009 07:58AM) (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments In an abandoned cave far far away, there is a woman who is cursed to see everyone and everything's fate in her mind's eye, so all the time her brain is overcrowded with what is going to happen to who.

I was thinking that she sort of screams out the prophcey, and it invloves the four kids...
There are these men called Extirminators, who swore to vanish every magical creature from Earth, and when they find a huge underground world with goblin Kings, it's basically the jackpot for them.
The kids need to protect the music box from the Extirminators, so they won't get the Sight and therefore be able to kill the goblins.
I saw thinking that's what the prophecy could be about, but I still am unstable about the exact words of the prophcey..maybe it should ryhme...

Thanks for your advice!! ^^


message 4: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi it doesn't always have to be a rhyme.though they usually are. why don''t the kids just destroy the music box, that way the exterminators can't get to it?


message 5: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Good idea, accept THEY wouldn't have the Sight...hmm...


message 6: by Janeen-san (last edited Jul 28, 2009 08:19PM) (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments (I also forgot to tell you, the two worlds are interdependent.)

^^


message 7: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi if they depend on each other, but also depend on one not knowing the other is there, then i;d think the one wold need to find out how to get rid of it's dependence on the other. that would be kinda like someone living in soneone elses' house and eating their food & stuff but hiding and keeping it seret at the same time.


message 8: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments That's a really good idea!!


message 9: by Cleveland (last edited Jul 30, 2009 02:40AM) (new)

Cleveland Janeen-san (The Girl Who Lept Through Time FAN!!) wrote: "Can someone please help me??
I have an idea for a story, where a music box gives these four friends the 'Sight' and it turns out they're part of a 'Prediction'/'Prophcey', invloving an underground..."

I'm a creative writer and I'd suggest you go for something simple. The simpler the better. It means the 'suspension of disbelief' kicks in and people are sucked into the story.
What about a prediction that bad times will follow, even evil deeds done if the box falls into the wrong hands. If a key is turned in the lock of the box three times at MIDNIGHT a secret compartment will open at the base.The box will not open but this slip section will. It contains a red candle, matches and instruction of how to see the prediction by lightening the candle at night in a suitable location like a cave or an old barn.
The children find the cave and light the candle. Then they see the famine, the disease caused by evil owners of the box and millions dying through disease.That was the forecast or the prediction. the candle goes out. Relight the candle. The graphic scene continues with a deadline. In seven days the box will fall into evil hands unless it is taken to the crystal mountain immediately and given to the white witch. In exchange the witch will given then a Celtic silver cross to wear at all time. It is their protection again the evil unnamed one. Then leaving the box behind for the white witch to do something with the four begin the return journey, all are sad they had to give up the box. then halffway along the trip back they are stopped b a single runner who has been following them. they must return to the crystal mountain as it under attack and the white witch need help, help from the good Kama of the silver crosses they wear.
I'm making this up as I go and you should now do the same. There is going to be a bust up with various parties after the box so build in the fight scene with white dragons and their armed riders and riders of the giant horned toads and so on...
"I'm a bad writer.Many disagree but I can't possibly comment."
I'm not sure who said that but it seems a good way to end this post.
Good luck with the writing.
Cleveland




message 10: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi that was good Cleveland!


message 11: by Cleveland (new)

Cleveland Oh heck! Thanks. I re-read it myself and said: "Who the hell wrote that! " But then I'm allowed to say that aren't I. It's fun after all.
I'm working on 'Devil Drum' which links different worlds and everything is a closely run thing. But exciting. A YA novel.
Best wishes
Cleveland


message 12: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Cleveland wrote: " Janeen-san (The Girl Who Lept Through Time FAN!!) wrote: "Can someone please help me??
I have an idea for a story, where a music box gives these four friends the 'Sight' and it turns out they're p..."


That is an awsome idea!!! I like the candle idea!!!


message 13: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi I think she wants to know if she can use that idea. I have trouble coming up w/ things like that, but once I have a basic plot I can add detail and make a story.


message 14: by Cleveland (new)

Cleveland DragonEyedOnePieceFan wrote: "I think she wants to know if she can use that idea. I have trouble coming up w/ things like that, but once I have a basic plot I can add detail and make a story."
She is welcome to use it. She can always change bits of the idea as she goes along. I'm a creative writer so the more ideas I think of he more I get.



message 15: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Thanks Cleveland!! Speaking of "changing bits of the idea as she goes along", I think I will because I just had a brainwave in the middle of the night last night. ^^
The four kids sort of get assigned 'jobs'... (WARNING: This is just a random idea I had, still not sure about the outline...)

♣ One of the boys could travel to where giants live, and try to convince them to join the good guy's side, but the giants are very reluctant to do so. Like in one of Erin Hunter's Warriors books (I can't remember which one) some cats journey to the Tribe of Rushing Water, but they cats there are reluctant to join the Clans, because their leader is planning everything for them, and always has, for intsace what rank a kitten will have when it grows up.
I was thinking the giants could basically have the same problem, and the boy (unnamed) would try and convince them to join his side.

♣ The second boy (unnamed) is a spy, going over to the Extingwishers (sp?) and passing information over to the good guy's side.

♣ One of the girls (unnamed) would stay at the good guys HQ and be mentored to use spells to reinfource the boarders, so the Extingwishers would have a difficult time to get in if attacked. (I like your white dragon idea, too, it's cool!)

♣ The last member, also a girl (unnamed) would go up in a windship (Ever read Dragonworld?) and track the Extingwishers movments, and every time a new one would get recruited, try and stop him from joining the main fource. (Wouldn't that be the spy's job? I don't know).

So that's my brain wave =)



message 16: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi Just one more tip Janeen-chan: make sure you don't use something that's too close to something another author wrote, unless u get permission.


message 17: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Ok thanks you for the tip!


message 18: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments I like you idea Cleveland, very much! I just had to tell you my brain wave sorry if it seems I blew you off or something............


message 19: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Janeen-san (The Girl Who Lept Through Time FAN!!) wrote: "Thanks Cleveland!! Speaking of "changing bits of the idea as she goes along", I think I will because I just had a brainwave in the middle of the night last night. ^^
The four kids sort of get assi..."


No, wait...that would be the spy's job....new job for unnamed girl number one!! ANY IDEAS???


message 20: by Cleveland (last edited Aug 06, 2009 05:32PM) (new)

Cleveland Greeetings, here we go:

How about the four 'heroes' returning to the whee the musical box now lodges , with the White Witch in the mountain. An attack by the Evil Valvois warrior band is forecast when the White Witch 'throws' the coloured stones. The four need to be involved in the defence of the mountain in order to stop the musical box being stolen. If it is the end of the world is likely to take place. There is the reason .
Action. Bo one and two decide to travel to the swampland to find an old hermit called Bocheka. All hey have to go on is that he lives where the Storm Birds live. These ar extra large black birds that eat flesh. The boys mke it to the swamplands and find the hermit. He is old and tries to explain what spells they might use but as he is so ll they have to feed and nurse him back to health,, which they do. Then in the next few day hey learn more about macig barriers and the power of the red and purple bindweed that grows in he swamplands. The hermit tells hem to collect as much as they can, which hey do. Then in their travel they encounter he Black Unicorn. But the hermit tells them what to do. Not to kill he beast but how to tame it. Then with the suggestion they will release the Black Unicorn one hey make it out of the swampland they make the Black Unicorn show them the wa ou through the deep mists and he deadly snakes and black things in the swamps. Once out they let the Black Unicorn go and continue their journey with the hermit. They mnake it back to the mountain HQ.
........................................................
The second girl stays at the Good Guys HQ t learn about spells . But then she discovers there are two portals from different world in he grounds of the HQ. Nobody can locate the portals in the hope of sealing them up. Time is ticking away. No news from the boys and then there is movement in the grounds one night. Large leather bats in countless numbers swoop from the grounds and into the nearby forest.
By this time the hermit and the two boys arrive back. With the hermit's help they search for the two portals continues. One boy kills an intruder and decides to adopt the ID of the dead person and go to the place where the evil people have their camp.Dangerous undercover work.
The last girl leaves to take up a job in a nearby village pub where all soldiers,good and bad , tend to stop for a drink.She passes information back , Then unfortunately a soldier on the side of the Bad people recognizes her and she has to kill him.It starts a rumour of comando raids and for a shor time she has bought a delay of the attack on the Mountain HQ.
Until fresh evil forces arrive and demand a blood ceremony for luck. They need a virgin to sacrifice and guess who the pick?Now who will save her? Or will she die when the dagger enters her heart?

Any good?



message 21: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments DragonEyedOnePieceFan wrote: "Just one more tip Janeen-chan: make sure you don't use something that's too close to something another author wrote, unless u get permission."

I won't. Isn't that called playdirisum or something??


message 22: by Cleveland (last edited Aug 07, 2009 12:04AM) (new)

Cleveland Janeen-san (The Girl Who Lept Through Time FAN!!) wrote: "DragonEyedOnePieceFan wrote: "Just one more tip Janeen-chan: make sure you don't use something that's too close to something another author wrote, unless u get permission."

I won't. Isn't that c..."

................................................................
Plagiarism:
Will you be copying and pasting another writers work?I think not.And will you try to pass it off as your own?
Look at URL:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plagiarism
Read and compare novel 'The flight of the Beagle' with Aliens and see how they compare. The words are not copied but some say they share story content.
Add,change, weave a new web over the ideas I suggested.You are welcome to do so.



message 23: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Ok thank you very much. You are very creative, I will use your ideas in my story, but I will change them so they will be mine, and the orginals will be yours so you can use them in your story to! ^^


message 24: by Cleveland (new)

Cleveland That's fine. Plagarism applies to factual essays, non-fiction and data. Ideas in fiction remain ideas. How they are written is the mark of the writer.Colin Dexter, an Oxfordshire published author, say he gets an idea and then changes something about it as he goes through the plotting process. Terry Pratchett reads old Victorian records and comes up with a variety of names and ideas all changed to suit his skills.
I'm currently co-writing a novel for a newpaper. Some tips about that are in m story on GR called 'Killer Serial Writing' aimed at any writer of novel, short story or articles, and fast fiction.
Best wishes
Cleveland


message 25: by Cleveland (new)

Cleveland Here is a puzzle for you:

what is a mermaid with an upper half of a cat called?
Is it Catfish?
or
Mercat?

Always have fun.


message 26: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Um...a cat-maid?


message 27: by Cleveland (new)

Cleveland Janeen-san (The Girl Who Lept Through Time FAN!!) wrote: "Um...a cat-maid?"

Thanks for your suggestion.
What about it being a Cat-maid-fish perhaps...



message 28: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments ok I guess that would work =)



message 29: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments I gotta go bye


message 30: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments I have an idea for the prophcey!
'In a time of choas, four mortal will aid in rebuilding this world.'

The Extingwishers are planning to attack the Other Relhm (I'll just call it that for now) and they need help and the four kids are going to help them!
How about it?


message 31: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi sounds good to me!


message 32: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments YAY!


message 33: by Janeen-san (last edited Aug 17, 2009 02:40PM) (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Hey Cleveland and DragonEyedOnePieceFan!!! I wrote the first chapter! Read and please enjoy =)

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...


message 34: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Hey Cleveland and DragonEyedOnePieceFan!!! CHAPTER TWO!!!
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...


message 35: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments CHAPER THREE!!!! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...


message 38: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments SIX!! (I'm on a role it's so fun!)

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...


St[♥]r Pr!nc:$$ N[♥]wsheen pictures, pictures, pictures ||| ♥ Zin Uru ♥ |||| | 545 comments Hi Janeen, Cleveland and Dragon Eyed.... it's cool seeing a plot develop here. I didn't get the riddle though...ummm...which part is the maid? seems like cat and fish don't leave room for much else,,unless it is a girl caught in catfish body haha :))

Janeen I haven't read the story yet, are you still thinking of naming the characters...I think there's like tons of name generators on the web, maybe you'll find something interesting.


message 42: by Janeen-san (last edited Aug 23, 2009 07:00PM) (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments I have named them Amber, Kendall, August and Erik. But thanks! (I have already used a name genator to fnd names for the griffons!)

=D

Please read the story and tell me if you like it!!


message 45: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Did you like it???


message 46: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments I UPDATED CHAPTER ELEVEN PLEASE READ!


message 47: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi It's definately a good start to a story Janeen chan! I just read the updated version. You fixed the spelling! LOL


message 48: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments =)


message 49: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Nausheen wrote: "Hi Janeen, Cleveland and Dragon Eyed.... it's cool seeing a plot develop here. I didn't get the riddle though...ummm...which part is the maid? seems like cat and fish don't leave room for much else..."

Know what? I think I'll change the names after all, accept I'm not changing Kendall. So...any two boy names and one girl you can think of?


message 50: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi kendra
rebecca
elaine
cassandra
donita
deborah
those are my teacher's names. I don't have any guy teachers. I can't think of names off the top of my head easliy.
lilly
karen
brooke (boy or girl)



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