World, Writing, Wealth discussion

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message 1: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments OK, so here's the situation. I need to write a blurb for my third book wherein a major plot line is heavily dependent upon what happened in the second book.

My dilemma is how do I write the blurb for the third without giving away what happens in the second thereby spoiling the second for readers? Both books are going to be released concurrently.

Any advice?


message 2: by Marie Silk (new)

Marie Silk | 1022 comments I think the trick is to say as much as you possibly can about the direction of the book while being as vague as possible. Can you use some main characters names and what they are doing? I like to use ambiguous words such as "new" and "changes" so they don't spoil the secrets learned in previous books.


message 3: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments That's good advice Marie; not sure if it will work in my situation though :( I think vagueness will have to be my friend.


message 4: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) @Mr Eldon: Hmmm...

Have you already written up a loose blurb for book three? And if so, would you be okay with including here as a spoiler?

Like (view spoiler)?

Hugs,
Ann


message 5: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments Hey Annie aside from not knowing how to do that lol....I don't have anything specific written just realize that it will be a problem.....


message 6: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) Hahaha!! *apologetic hugs* Sorry!!!

Umm. What about alluding to vital stuff in book two? Like, let's say X killed Y and Z is gonna take revenge:

Z wants revenge. No. He needs revenge. After witnessing what X did to Y, Z can think of nothing else. It consumes him. Like darkness...

Or I'm totally not making any sense? LOL

Just FYI: < spoiler>TOP SECRET TEXT< /spoiler>


message 7: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments That helps Annie :) When I get something put together I'll post it here for comments!!


message 8: by Marie Silk (new)

Marie Silk | 1022 comments You're amazing, Annie! I don't even know who x, y, and z, are, but I need to read this book now! :D


message 9: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) Hahahaha! You're too sweet!! Thanks, Miss Marie!!!

*looks around nervously**starts writing new book**realizes my character names suck* ^_~


message 10: by Alex (new)

Alex (asato) Annie wrote: "Hahahaha! You're too sweet!! Thanks, Miss Marie!!!

*looks around nervously**starts writing new book**realizes my character names suck* ^_~"


not to question the question, but wouldn't it be better to release them sequentially? that way you build up anticipation for the second one? then you could discount the first one when you release the second one?


message 11: by Nik (new)

Nik Krasno | 15679 comments Annie wrote: "Z wants revenge. No. He needs revenge. After witnessing what X did to Y, Z can think of nothing else. It consumes him. Like darkness......"

Wow, great blurb, Ann!
Eldon, I would change a book to fit the blurb -:)


message 12: by Nik (new)

Nik Krasno | 15679 comments Eldon wrote: "My dilemma is how do I write the blurb for the third without giving away what happens in the second thereby spoiling the second for readers? Both books are going to be released concurrently...."

If they are not standalones and planned to be released simultaneously anyway, it may be logical to have a joint blurb for both and call them Part 1 & Part 2. Can this work?


message 13: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) @Mr Nik: Ooooh! The creative juices are flowing freely!! Melikey!!!

Hmm. Mr Eldon already has book one out. So it'd have to be Book 2 & Book 3. Or Volume 2: Part 1 & Part 2...? Haha I don't know what I'm saying anymore!!

Re Nik wrote: "Wow, great blurb, Ann!
Eldon, I would change a book to fit the blurb -:)"


Aww, thanks! But if a book's being written to fit the blurb, lemme whip up a legit one, eh? ^_~

Hugs,
Ann


message 14: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments Here's what I've cobbled together so far. Not too sure about it though; would appreciate any thoughts on it.

Hope is lost.

On a small island off the coast of North Carolina the unthinkable has happened; 400 people have vanished without a trace. So far every government investigation has been stymied in their attempts to explain the sudden mass disappearance. Now as the public clamor for answers the very people tasked with finding them start to disappear as well, leaving many to wonder if what caused the vanishing is still lurking on the island?

Consumed by darkness.

It’s been a month since the events of Toronto and FBI Special Agent Caleb Fine is a shadow of his former self. Overcome with grief, his pursuit of The Toymaker has become so personal that those around him have begun to fear for his health. His superiors feel that he’s become too close to it all to see straight but he’s unrelenting—he will find him without the backing of the FBI if necessary.

In the realm of shadows…

Following a trail of obscure riddles and scant clues, Caleb finally uncovers where his prey is holed up. With the aid of his partner, Li Ling Tran, he heads into the teeth of a hurricane to discover in the shadows of his soul, a promise softly whispered has become tragically true.

Nothing will ever be the same again.


message 15: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) Ooooh, Mr Eldon!! Okie dokie, I'll be honest and say it's a teensy bit wordy for my own personal taste BUT I love:

1. The structure or whatever the heck that's called hahaha!! Like, the way you broke up the paragraphs. The overall effect is both catchy and visually appealing, imho.

2. Annnnd...

Hope is lost.
Consumed by darkness.
In the realm of shadows…
Nothing will ever be the same again.


This right here makes the blurb for me. Dig it!

Hugs,
Ann


message 16: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments I agree Annie, I'm not happy with the second paragraph...it doesn't flow for me. Maybe too many words? This is where the spoilers formally resided so I'm trying to say something without saying something you know?


message 17: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) Hmmm...

It's been a month since the events of Toronto and Caleb Fine is overcome with grief. Pursuing The Toymaker has become his only purpose and he'll continue even without the FBI's backing.

A bit clunky. Ugh. And missing something at the end. Double ugh. But I'm totes on my phone. And multitasking. So that's what you get for now hahaha!!


message 18: by Eldon (last edited Aug 02, 2016 10:17AM) (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments It is for sure clunky...must change it :)


message 19: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) Hahaha, Eldon!! I meant my suggestion LMAO!!!

And yes, sir *humbly kneels* I'll make a better one soon ^_~


message 20: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) Oooh! Oooh!! My brain sparked!!! How about...

It's been a month since the events of Toronto and Caleb Fine is overcome with grief. Pursuing The Toymaker has become his only purpose and he'll stop at nothing. Even without the FBI's backing.

?


message 21: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments You know what Annie....that's not bad!! I may have to "borrow" that ;)


message 22: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) Oh, buggers! *headdesk* I just realized that you probably meant the OTHER 2nd paragraph hahaha!! If so...

400 people have vanished from an island off the coast of North Carolina (still clunky grrr). After government investigations come up empty, a public search ensues. But as more people begin to disappear, many start to suspect something sinister still lurks about.

Maybe? I dunno LOL


message 23: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) *many start to wonder if something sinister still lurks about.

Still cringeworthy with the alliteration, but better than the other option. And sorry for brain vomiting on this thread!! There's no edit button on my phone...or...I'm blind?

(☉_☉)


message 24: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments No worries...appreciate the brainstorming ☺


message 25: by Marie Silk (new)

Marie Silk | 1022 comments I like the first two paragraphs but the third one kinda loses me.

I might change this line: His superiors feel that he’s become too close to it all to see straight but he’s unrelenting—he will find him without the backing of the FBI if necessary.

To something like: Caleb is unrelenting and will find The Toymaker--with or without the help of the FBI.

Your books sound awesome, by the way!


message 26: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments Thanks Marie :) Now if I could just get the blurb soundìng awesome....


message 27: by Nik (new)

Nik Krasno | 15679 comments Eldon, sounds like you offer really intriguing mysteries. The blurbs, in my opinion, are pretty good, because they pique interest. Maybe a bit of streamlining can pack the message more tightly.
Something like:

400 people disappeared without a trace. The authorities have neither explanation nor clue where to find them. What's lurking on the island off NC shore that made them vanish? Will it come to the mainland?

In the 2-nd. The mentioning of Toronto events seems unnecessary. Something like: a month after the last assignment SA Caleb is still obsessed with Toymskers pursuit. So obsessed that his superiors start to doubt his...
It's personal now, and Caleb must find him..

Finally, Softly and tragically are not too important in the 3-d part.

Just some ideas. Don't know whether their realization would be any improvement though.

I would've probably ended with blurbs three times longer, messing everything up-:)


message 28: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments Thanks for all the help everyone. Your suggestions made it possible for me to find my way to this blurb:

Hope is lost.

On a small island off the coast of North Carolina the unthinkable has happened; 400 people have vanished without a trace. So far every government investigation has been stymied in their attempts to explain the sudden mass disappearance. Now as the public clamor for answers the very people tasked with finding them start to disappear as well, leaving many to wonder if what caused the vanishing is still lurking on the island?

Consumed by darkness.

Caleb Fine is a changed man. The events of Toronto have left him wracked by guilt and filled with a barely constrained rage. The search for the Toymaker is no longer about justice for him—the killer has made it deeply personal. Now nothing and no one—including the FBI—will stand in his way.

In the realm of shadows…

Following a trail of obscure riddles and scant clues, Caleb finally discovers where the Toymaker has gone to ground. With the aid of his partner, Li Ling Tran, he heads into the unknown to find that in the shadows of his soul, a promise softly spoken has become tragically true.

Nothing will ever be the same again.


message 29: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) 1. I love the bold and italics!
2. This paragraph...

Caleb Fine is a changed man. The events of Toronto have left him wracked by guilt and filled with a barely constrained rage. The search for the Toymaker is no longer about justice for him—the killer has made it deeply personal. Now nothing and no one—including the FBI—will stand in his way.

That's money, right there!!

Hugs,
Ann


message 30: by Eldon (new)

Eldon Farrell | 704 comments Annie wrote: "1. I love the bold and italics!
2. This paragraph...

Caleb Fine is a changed man. The events of Toronto have left him wracked by guilt and filled with a barely constrained rage. The search for the..."


And that was the paragraph giving me all the trouble!!


message 31: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) It's freakin' awesome, Mr Eldon! Even reading it out loud (cuz yeah, I do that haha) it rolls off the tongue real easy...

*fist bump*


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