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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Blurb Help Creative Memoir

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay so I've started going down the self-publish route. I've written a short story (10.5k words) that is a creative memoir. Non-fiction with a twist. Blurb rough draft is below. Any comments or help would be appreciated.



Breathe in. Breathe out.

Maybe it's you. Maybe it's your brother or daughter or friend or spouse. In a way it happens very quickly, and in a way it takes a lifetime. Mental health doesn't get a yearly check-up but maybe it should.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

When you start to feel scared or confused or sad or alone, you don't always know who to turn to. This is a story of M, who, in the face of anxiety and depression, leaned on make-believe stories for help. This is also the story of the Princess and the Historian and their quest, and how M got lost inside them.


message 2: by Rod (new)

Rod Baker | 119 comments I liked it all: the premise of creative self-help for mental health challenges......except the "getting lost inside of them" because its the final sentence and "getting lost" is not a positive outcome...plus it might be good to change the last sentence so include "both" stories—because having told your reader its one story, you then say its another. this might be confusing....good luck.

Rod


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

Thank you Rod and LJ. Here's an updated version:


Breathe in. Breathe out.

Maybe it's you. Maybe it's your brother or daughter or friend or spouse. In a way it happens very quickly, and in a way it takes a lifetime. Mental health doesn't get a yearly check-up but maybe it should.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

When you start to feel scared or confused or sad or alone, you don't always know who to turn to. In the face of anxiety and depression, M leaned on make-believe stories for help. Meanwhile, the Princess and the Historian faced obstacles on their quest for the missing sun and moon. This is a true story about how those separate worlds merged.


message 4: by Jeannine (new)

Jeannine Harris | 22 comments I love the 'Breathe in. Breathe out'. That is what mental health (or unhealth...) is all about. Also, the way you have structured those lines makes me feel like I'm breathing in and breathing out which is imperative for emotive writing.

I love how the paralleled stories are intertwined and merged.

I would change 'yearly' to annual and I would try not repeat 'in a way'. Also, how old is M? Ages spark interest.


message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

Thanks everyone! Very helpful feedback. :)


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