This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion


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message 1: by [deleted user] (last edited Jul 25, 2009 06:55PM) (new)

You know what, Haters? I was really domestic and mature and settled in my twenties, and it's only been in my thirties that I've really been "dating" for the first time. And it has been fun, really! But I'm thinking that I'd better get settled, soon. I'm really thinking that.

For no other reason than I could stop OBSESSING about it.

message 2: by Matthieu (new)

Matthieu Why do you have to get settled? Enjoy yourself, 'Tambo.

message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

I can really drive myself crazy. REALLY*.

*Apologies to Mr. Hartman, my 6th grade English teacher, who hated usage of "really."

message 4: by Janet (new)

Janet dating sucks & don't settle

message 5: by [deleted user] (last edited Jul 25, 2009 07:27PM) (new)

I don't mean I want to settle for less! I mean that I want to get settled with a perfectly amazing guy.

Young Matt, I had lots of crazy times as a teen, and I've had lots of crazy times as a 30-something. If there's one thing I've had, it's fun. I'm still having fun. Fun, fun, that all there is? No.

message 6: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Well do you know a perfectly amazing guy? If so, settle him! Settle him right up. (down?) Which way do you settle someone?

message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

I think you just settle with them.

message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

Every guy I date is amazing AND has problems.

message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

Unlike me. No problems on this side.

message 10: by smetchie (last edited Jul 25, 2009 08:54PM) (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Go watch Matlock. That always settles ME down.

message 11: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments It does indeed.

message 12: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen dating. ewwwwww! I'm beginning to feel like you and I are some twisted version of a Cathy comic strip. Bare with me I'm in the middle of a gargantuan sized pity party.
-the deaf guy texted me AGAIN

-last night I met with Misty and her husband and some guy that was clearly intended to be my next beau. A nice enough gentleman that does some science-y thing for OHSU and loves Bonnie Prince Billy but to say caster hair - ? He laughed sufficiently at my self effacing jabs but doesn't read fiction and the most passionate thing he said all night was, "an iphone is the last thing he would want to get" .

-and there's that one. I'm mailing his key back to him. you hear me, MAILING IT !!! not going to see him in person. just going to mail it and try and sqwelch the depression with home decorating, baking and hiking and NOT GET SUCKED IN AGAIN.



message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

Woah. Remember when you set me up with Barry without my knowing and I acted like a 12-year-old the whole time?

Did you respond to the texting?

I actually think that the text messages are the best part of my dating life. They're, um, awesome.

message 14: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen yes, I remember. At least I was decent enough to not tell you ahead of time. I hate it when people do that. That is much much more awkward.

I did respond to the texting. He's texted me again but I've not responded yet. I know the more i text the closer I am to having to tell him I don't actually want to go out with him. oh man.

my texting life sucks lately. The last message I received read, "I'm tired of being your weekend puppet!" previous ones include some charming things as, "why don't you just get your stuff next time you come over and at your convenience want to fuck....!"
Apparently I'm a cold hearted nymphomaniac. A secret I keep well hidden from the rest of the world but he's on to me!

message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

Holy shit.

message 16: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell You're not cold hearted.

message 17: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen wa-ha-ha-ha Dave, you the funny one!

message 18: by Heather (new)

Heather (heatherjoy) I hate dating, and I have no desire to settle down, so it all works out...

message 19: by [deleted user] (new)

Marie: I guess this answers my question of 'how is the deaf guy going to call you?'

message 20: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen Steve: I guess my answered would be, "text messaging". It's a wacky new way of communicating via typed words on a cellular phone, believe it or not. It's really peachy, you should give it a try sometime.

message 21: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen ****lest you find yourself in the awkward position of assuming deaf people are still limited to large horns help up to their ear and the generosity of benevolent on relatives again, you might also like to know that there are "relay services" that can be used, wherein a phone conversation is relayed from the hearing to the deaf and vis-versa by way of an interpreter and a tty (phone for deaf people).
But for the most part it's that dang text messaging all the kids are using these days.*********

message 22: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments did anyone hear when howard stern would have people call those relay services? apparently they are supposed to be completely neutral and just relay exactly what you say. they would say the most inappropriate things and see how far they could get before the relay service person was like, "i'm not going to relay that message." It was pretty far too. I can't even type it out of fear it would be taken out of context! Which, I guess, is nice to know because deaf people have every right to phone sex and free speech!!

message 23: by [deleted user] (last edited Jul 28, 2009 08:04AM) (new)

LOL, you seem to forget that in my previous incarnation as a Netflix representative I often had the opportunity to speak with deaf people using video, TTY, etc services. Tragically however I didn't have the good fortune of my friend in Tech who received a relay call that went along the lines of...

Operator: "Sir I apologize but you understand that I'm legally required to repeat everything that the customer inputs on their side..."

Tech Support: Of course, not a problem

Operator: (Deep Breath) "You goddammotherfuckingsonofabitchratfuckingcocksucker you
fascistratbastardassholesonsofbitches have fucked me over again you shitfa..."

I'd be the first to agree that deafness is no barrier to true & effective communication.

message 24: by [deleted user] (new)

Just saw Gretchen's post which reminds me of Marie's favorite joke...

How did Helen Keller burn her ear off?
She tried to answer the iron.
How did she burn off the other one?
It called back!!

Tragically Marie has never been able to answer this question...
How did Helen Keller know the phone was ringing?

message 25: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen I didn't forget you used the tty service Steve. I assumed you'd forgotten which is why you asked the question.

Howard Stearns makes me puke. "Comedy" aside. He is possibly the ugliest human being alive. I say that with no guilt knowing that he would freely say the same about me given the opportunity.

Steve: YOU KNOW I HATE THAT JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

message 26: by Matthieu (new)

Matthieu How?!

message 27: by [deleted user] (new)

To deploy the Socratic method, I'm going to answer your question with a question...

Why does Helen Keller have a phone in the first place???

message 28: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen Hows that dating life going Sarah?

Not that the two are related, but It's supposed to be 107 today. We're going to the river (9ish) and aiming to be back around 430 or 500 if you and/or Lisa want to join us.

message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

Maybe we'll come down later, but not that early. Have fun!

Nothing to report on the dating front.

message 30: by Stina (new)

Stina (stinalee) | 653 comments Sarah- I am completely jealous that your dating experience "has been fun, really!" I HATE it! Is it too much to ask that my freaking soulmate show up on my front porch? I know I don't make things easy either, as my "resting face" looks like I am pissed AND boys that I've never met never EVER talk to me- so therefore I recycle, and that is a freaking stupid idea. I HATE DATING... and I also hate the fact that my pissy attitude is a cause AND effect of my singledom.

message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

Hasn't there been any fun in there, Kristina?! What about when you had those hickies and bite marks at the ob-gyn? LAUGH RIOT!

So, you're not going to be at Shelley's party Sunday. We're never hanging out, are we?

Kristina, do people always urge you to do online dating? People have finally backed off, but right after I broke up with Josh, I just couldn't get away from it. I DON'T WANNA! I don't care if so and so got married to her mate. NO! I can't imagine that the kind of guy I like is filling out one of those profiles right now. And maybe I'd be better off with those types of dudes, but I don't want them. I DON'T WANT THEM!

message 32: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Sarah,
Why don't you want the kind of guy who fills out those profiles? You don't want the kind of guy who actually wants to be in a long-term relationship and knows what kind of woman he's looking for?

message 33: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Kristina wrote: "Sarah- I am completely jealous that your dating experience "has been fun, really!" I HATE it! Is it too much to ask that my freaking soulmate show up on my front porch? I know I don't make thing..."

You should be jealous of her outlook on life (daisy shoved up ass) not her dating experiences. I'll bet they're the same but she just finds the fun because that's the kind of person she is.

You know her in real life. Am I right or wrong?

message 34: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments ::starts to post something really smartassy about women and dating, then decides he's probably better off poking bears with sticks - leaves in search of bears::

message 35: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments oh go ahead Rusty. It's been too nice around here lately anyway. I miss Nick.

message 36: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen Shelley's party is THIS Sunday?

message 37: by [deleted user] (last edited Jul 29, 2009 10:26AM) (new)

Rusty, I know you're not afraid of me, so go ahead.

Gretchen, yes, I probably should want the kind of guy who is filling out those profiles. They'd probably be "good" for me. Hmmm...I am SO internally opposed to the idea, I don't think I could get past it. It's like a gut-level repulsion when I think of it.

And yes, I have a sunny outlook, but dating has been fun! There has been a lot of bullshit and crying, but that stuff was weaved around this stuff:

-making out
-going for beers
-pillow talk

Call me crazy, but that's fun.

message 38: by [deleted user] (last edited Jul 29, 2009 10:25AM) (new)

Oh no, Marie, it's not this Sunday. I just saw on fb that Kristina declined.

Marie, are you checking in from the river via iphone?

message 39: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments If you think that stuff is fun, Sarah, you should NOT settle down. :)

message 40: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen You can still do all that when ur married.... In theory.

Not iphoning from the river. Got a late start (surprising I know). Currently texting from Safeway parking lot while waiting for Henry to get ice.

message 41: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments oh go ahead Rusty. It's been too nice around here lately anyway. I miss Nick. <----very touching, by the way.

I was just going to say something like; blah, blah, most women premeditatedly seek guys who will treat them like $#@!, blah, blah, blah, and then wonder why the guy treats them like $#@!

But I guess it's nothing most of y'all haven't freely admitted.

message 42: by [deleted user] (new)

Yeah, that's what I figured, Rusty. I know, I know.

Most guys have treated me pretty well, though. There have just been a couple exceptions that stand out.

message 43: by Stina (new)

Stina (stinalee) | 653 comments Gretchen, you're right... I need to adopt a daisy-up-the-ass attitude, for my own sake, as well as for those around me!

Rusty- you're right... I freely admit I pick the wrong people- constantly. I have seen too many romantic comedies and read way too much chick lit to really believe that the asshole won't turn around into someone completely charming!!

Sarah- people urge me to online date frequently. It's not that I'm opposed to it, it's just that I don't want anyone to see me on there. What's the stigma and why do I get caught up in it? Again, it's easier to just wait for a dreamboat to drop out of the sky.

message 44: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Marie wrote: " You can still do all that when ur married.... In theory. theory.

my husband and I do sometimes date and go for beers.

message 45: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Sarah- people urge me to online date frequently. It's not that I'm opposed to it, it's just that I don't want anyone to see me on there. What's the stigma and why do I get caught up in it? Again, it's easier to just wait for a dreamboat to drop out of the sky.

that's sort of the problem i think i would have with it. i don't think my self-esteem could take it. However, I'm one of those people who encourage people to do it and I know 3 very happily marrieds with childrens who met online.

message 46: by smetchie (last edited Jul 29, 2009 05:08PM) (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments that kind of sounds like a 3-way marriage huh?? I meant I know 3 happy couples who are married and have children. (and only one of the guys is kind of an ass.) Kristina if any extra dreamboats drop out of the sky over here I'll send them your way. The first one I'm hiding in my closet but I'm not gonna be totally greedy.

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