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Have a question? Ask the group! > Have you heard of "Spiritual Bypassing"?

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message 1: by Saiisha (new)

Saiisha | 544 comments Mod
I've been reading about this term (first coined by John Welwood) to describe using certain practices to avoid dealing with our pain, beliefs and inner needs. Many of us have experienced the highs of inner awakening, but then when it comes down to doing the work of inner inquiry, not everyone is ready to take it on. Sometimes we rely on others or external means to solve / avoid our problems, like on psychics, psychedelic drugs, gurus, guides, or even giving up on our growth and evolution.

I'm curious what you all think of this concept? Can you relate? Or does it remind you of someone you know?


message 2: by Ian-Anthony (last edited Jun 21, 2016 03:45PM) (new)

Ian-Anthony Finnimore | 53 comments All of the above :-)

The inner awakening is definately a high but then there is a massive low for me in the sense that there is no conversation with the divine.

Sometimes it feels like finding a message in a bottle, there is no return address. Other people also dont help very much.

As I have said previously I try to live my life with Lenity - that is like scaling Everest in itself.

There has been nothing but disappointment for me amongst the list you gave but I never give up ...I just have to take a breather sometimes.

I have heard of shadow work via Michael Tsarion but for me inner reflection is never ending - I feel like a petulant child asking why, why ..why but I cant forsee not enquiring.


message 3: by Julie (last edited Jun 21, 2016 07:37PM) (new)

Julie | 53 comments I never heard this term and just read up on it a bit and from what I read I feel that the majority of the population "suffers" from this. What is that one phrase...something like "People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul" - Carl Jung

Such true words. Even as a seeker myself, and believe me when I say that as an adult I wanted to be semi-spiritual. Book spiritual. I wanted to understand to a limited degree. It was not my intention to go the full Monty, but life shook me up and had over plans for me, therefore, I could no longer bury my head in the sand or the psychic or bypass or take the easy road.

Some people use religion as their guide to their spirituality and some use drugs (i.e. Timothy Leary / Ram Dass). I don't use either of those but I use guides, books, etc to help access my spiritual growth. I think there is a fine line between utilizing something for our spiritual evolution and using something as smoke and mirrors to pretend / lie to yourself etc about whatever you're afraid to face.


message 4: by Ian-Anthony (last edited Jun 21, 2016 11:25PM) (new)

Ian-Anthony Finnimore | 53 comments Hi Julie - nice to meet you.

I agree. It does seem also that once someone picks a religious belief system they tend to filter anything else out of existence. Also there is a air of snobbery which I detest.

Seeking spirituality for me results in no answer from the creator & a feeling of being out on my own. At least the knowledge is earned I guess as opposed to simply repeating mantras & doctrine.

I along with my family had a paranormal experience that was the equivalent of the washing up doing itself - literally that physical. But I have seen nothing else in 20 odd years which is crazy.

Surely it either exists or it doesn't but it seems that it is more complicated. At least I have an experience which I am thankful for.

That being said I am still very cautious when listening to others claims be they psychics or gurus as one of my tenets is that everyone is fallible.

Salvia took me somewhere out of body but it was for maybe 30 seconds in which chanting children told me to understand the mystery of dreams - again my dreams are just that so it was no real revelation unfortunately & obviously could just be my brain firing & not spiritual at all.

The idea that perhaps we are not born with a complete soul & that it comes to us in pieces seems to be a pretty good theory but I myself have always felt whole - just uninformed.


message 5: by Julie (new)

Julie | 53 comments Good Moring Ian-Anthony. Pleasure to meet you.

I don't feel as if I get answers from the creator but I do feel as if sometimes the Universe gives me confirmation, validation. Also, I write my dreams down and in time when I look back on some of them, there is an absolute pattern. As I am now more consciously aware (not totally just more aware) I can notice when I'm being totally pushed in a different direction whether I like it or not.

With that said, I would like to say that I believe most of us "most" of us are born with a whole soul, that is the intention and through life's traumas our souls become fragmented and we work very hard to get back to the "whole" point. This is just my opinion from how I feel. Some people are not willing to work on it, some feel the need to, some just want to. I also believe that having a fragmented soul does not mean you've lost those parts of your soul, they've just become a bit disconnected from the whole. Some are born fragmented and don't know what it's like to feel whole, so without knowing, they do things to fragment others. I'm going off on a tangent so early in the Chicago morning.


message 6: by Ian-Anthony (last edited Jun 22, 2016 04:00AM) (new)

Ian-Anthony Finnimore | 53 comments The fragmented part seems to ring true with me!!

There is also the notion of the psychic vampire - a person who knowingly or not feeds from an others energy.

I have found that there are most certainly those who drain me spiritually for various reasons so it's not a tangent ;-p

Even my wife who is a practical person has come to find that this type of person can really cause upheaval is the most positive of environments.


message 7: by Saiisha (new)

Saiisha | 544 comments Mod
Great conversation, thank you both for chiming in with your thoughts!

Ian-Anthony, I like your analogy of a message-in-a-bottle... it does seem that way sometimes, doesn't it? But as you're finding out, the answers are always within, no one else can really give us the answers - the most they can do is point to the next step. This whole seeking thing is certainly not for the weak-minded who give up too easily - it's awesome that you're digging in deeper and deeper as you need, and I think you will experience some of those highs again, when the time is right.

Julie - isn't it funny how we can't just dip our toes into being a seeker? You have to go either all in, or bypass it completely (you know, go the other route through drugs and psychics, etc. They might work temporarily, but it's never enough until we do the inner work ourselves). Books have always been good guides for me as well, but as you said - they're merely pointing the way, we still need to get to that inner place through our own experience!


message 8: by Barbara (new)

Barbara | 127 comments I like hearing from the three of you - I think you're all speaking your own truth. I hadn't heard the term 'spiritual by-passing' before but I do think it is a common behavior - I'll have to look up that term. I would call it "numbing" - the things we do to distract ourselves from being 100% engaged in living our lives. Unfortunately the pace of the world these days seems to rob us of time to reflect and renew so spiritual by-passing or numbing may be what happens as a result of our too busy lives. We need to spend more time in just "being". I find that downtime helps me re-engage in the journey. I also find truth in all religions, all faiths. I long for those transcendent experiences that bring us close to the Universal Force and practice meditation to help me be more present.


message 9: by Saiisha (new)

Saiisha | 544 comments Mod
Barbara wrote: "I like hearing from the three of you - I think you're all speaking your own truth. I hadn't heard the term 'spiritual by-passing' before but I do think it is a common behavior - I'll have to look u..."

"Numbing" works just as well as a technical term Barbara :) We absolutely need down time to connect within, to allow those transcendental experiences to come through.


message 10: by Saiisha (new)

Saiisha | 544 comments Mod
Robert wrote: "I have a spiritual journal that I update once a year on my birthday. As i reflect back on past entries it is surprising how much i have changed in very short periods of time.
i mention this becaus..."

That's a great observation Robert - that each of us starts somewhere! As some of us mentioned above, we've each probably tried other ways and bypasses first, until we recognize that we do need to buckle down and do the work that's necessary for next steps. That's the only way we'll evolve. And it's a great practice to look back once a year to record and recognize your progress!


message 11: by S.L. (last edited Jul 07, 2016 09:22AM) (new)

S.L. Northey | 40 comments Ian-Anthony wrote: "All of the above :-)

The inner awakening is definately a high but then there is a massive low for me in the sense that there is no conversation with the divine.

Sometimes it feels like finding a ..."


Good Grieving, Narrative Perspectives of Loss and BereavementGood Grieving, Narrative Perspectives of Loss and Bereavement>Ian-Anthony wrote: "All of the above :-)

The inner awakening is definately a high but then there is a massive low for me in the sense that there is no conversation with the divine.

Sometimes it feels like finding a ..."


Ian-Anthony,

I really felt what you said about " there is no communication with the divine", and how that makes you feel "low" .

I have five questions if you would indulge me, I ask before I speak, to make sure I know the full mantel you keep.

First question, what do you think the divine is?
Second question, what kind of communication do you have hopes to achieve?
Third question, what are you willing to receive?
Fourth question, what are you willing to give up to attain those goals/mandates
Fifth Question, when you receive you message, how much work are you willing to do to transform yourself?

I gave up my life for a view. I was where you are now. I believed because my Mother believed and so many good people believed; but did I believe? And if so, what did I believe? How did I choose or not choose to communicate?

I came to a point in my life where I felt like I had a successful career, money wasn't an issue, relatively speaking. I felt like I was on a path, but it didn't feel like my path. My Mother wanted me to be a Nurse. She saw it as the highest calling to be of service to others. I wanted to be in the arts, my parents said no.

One day, I heard a quiet voice nudging me. "Don't you have something you need to talk to your Father about"? My Father, I thought, my Father, who art in Heaven? The voice said yes, you need to ask him something don't you? I said, I don't think so. This went on subtly for many days. I had no idea my soul was talking to me. It didn't sound like me, so I know it wasn't mental self talk, being logical and analytical, which I was so accustomed. The soul, it is you. That eternal future self that tries calling you through the defenses your ego has created, so something can't disrupt its own control, this sense of mechanical pride.

Anyway, I finally looked out the kitchen window and saw a storm was coming. As it started I got the idea that I needed to have "God" hear me and an answer would be sufficient. I stood under a large tree and the Lightning started. I raised my hands palms up, Father, I need you see what will you have in me. If you have none beyond how I have been living, I exercise my free will so you take me now. If you have your will for me, send me a messenger and speak your words in my most resident ear. I walked into the house after not being taken. I sat down, I heard a very audible and clear voice, and it touched me. I received the message very upfront and personal. I started writing because the message was, "write me a poem". No explanation, just on simple command. I followed that command and have been for three years. I write every day, I pray every day, and the writing in itself, changed me. So much so, I can't remember that person I was, how I got around.

I don't what you believe. That is why you have to ask yourself. If you cry out to the universe, something will answer back. Question is, what or whom will come calling. So you better be sure, what you believe.

I feel like your reaching but your reaching with you logic. Many people are searching, the intellectualize spirituality and try to make the divine fit into a rigid notion of only what man can see. It is so hard to quiet this mind.

I hope I haven't offended you, but you made reference that it may be getting hard for you because of this disappointment. Your on a journey, and you said at times it is like climbing Everest. I think your at that place you are trying to get passed the mind. This is where you need to be persistent. Your ego can't let the soul in, it has controlled you and told you that's who you are for so long.

S.L.


message 12: by S.L. (new)

S.L. Northey | 40 comments Good Grieving, Narrative Perspectives of Loss and Bereavement

Post Script, I know I speak of my Mother a lot. She died in 2015 and I still feel her today. I know she is gone, but I feel her very much with me, like we still have conversations, but in a different way. She was my guide. And in a lot of ways she still is.


message 13: by S.L. (new)

S.L. Northey | 40 comments Good Grieving: Narrative Perspectives of Loss and BereavementSaiisha wrote: "I've been reading about this term (first coined by John Welwood) to describe using certain practices to avoid dealing with our pain, beliefs and inner needs. Many of us have experienced the highs o..."

Saiisha,

I don't really know what this spiritual bypassing is. Is it like sublimating?

S.L.


message 14: by S.L. (new)

S.L. Northey | 40 comments S.L. wrote: "Good Grieving: Narrative Perspectives of Loss and BereavementSaiisha wrote: "I've been reading about this term (first coined by John Welwood) to describe using certain practices to ..."

I will have to look that one up.


message 15: by Kris (new)

Kris (krisg11) | 27 comments I have never heard of the term "spiritual bypass" before today. I found an article on spiritual bypass, in Pyschology Today, Beware of Spiritual Bypass: why we avoid rather than accept. I am a confronter, I want to know why and for what greater purpose or good, and I find myself reading for guidance and I love a good psychic. I don't always find the answer I expected, sometimes no answer at all, and I learned that some things just are and you move on and reflect with gratitude for the experience. I understand there are situations where people must shield themselves to avoid an experience or truth until they are ready to confront it. Perhaps some find a new way of life within the shield and it was meant to be.


message 16: by S.L. (new)

S.L. Northey | 40 comments Good Grieving: Narrative Perspectives of Loss and Bereavement

I think it's interesting that Psychology references this term. When I was younger, it was referred to as sublimating. I will say this opinion I feel knowing that it may raise the real concern I have with APA addressing spiritual terms when they are actually intellectualizing the notion of spirituality. I am glad they are trying to reference the suggestion that we need to address the soul, since it has been swept under the rug So-to-speak. For years our society in the US has been emerged in the egocentric view that logic is our design and has ignored our divine element.

Bottom line of what I am trying to say, I think when logical people try to commit to terms that describe spiritual aspects of an abstract notion, there is a less than clear view in the end. They are still trying to describe the idea of the soul's construct aligning this concept with behavioral psychology. It is like apples and oranges. We have been living a mechanical ideology that says the logic of man will lead to self fulfillment, or our nirvana, of self actualization. Self actualization is the biological machine believing in only the mind as a gateway to a universe of energy it really can't qualify or quantify with logic. We created time, it really doesn't exist, it is a relative concept that loses its meaning once we go outward to a larger, undefined presence of the universe.

I think this term will not be a lasting concept unless the APA would like to further manipulate people into further believing we are the apex of everything.

I hope this wasn't harsh. I used to think like this and had no clue about how the abstract worked in my everyday life. It isn't my logic that defines me. It is something else. A communication to something that carries the seed of the vastness of love. So evolved, that it has no word like hate, or unhappiness.

Sincerely,

S.L.


message 17: by Saiisha (new)

Saiisha | 544 comments Mod
Kris wrote: "I have never heard of the term "spiritual bypass" before today. I found an article on spiritual bypass, in Pyschology Today, Beware of Spiritual Bypass: why we avoid rather than accept. I am a conf..."

Love your attitude Kris - that you know you're a confronter, and not an escapist! I also wonder though, if for some people, they run or hide from the truth because they don't know that it's there in front of them - because they're running from the pain, not knowing that the truth is in the pain.


message 18: by Saiisha (new)

Saiisha | 544 comments Mod
S.L. wrote: "Good Grieving: Narrative Perspectives of Loss and Bereavement

I think it's interesting that Psychology references this term. When I was younger, it was referred to as sublimating. ..."


You obviously know a lot more about psychology and APA than I do SL :) But I agree with you, logic can only go so far with intangible things like soul and spirituality.

I always thought science and spirituality are both seeking the same thing, but from different ends; and they each talk about it in a different languages. Maybe someday we'll all agree!?


message 19: by Lorell (new)

Lorell Frysh | 4 comments Hi, I am a PhD psychologist. the focus on my training was spirituality, its profound opportunities and its issues. I have been working in the field for many years.
The psycho-spiritual journey is a continuum and both aspects of our being needs to be addressed if we to truly do our inner work.
When we on;y address the psycho-emotional aspect, we short-change our possibility of growth. And when only concentrate on the Spiritual and don't address the psycho-emotional we spiritually bypass, thereby kidding ourselves about the state of our realization.
Every genuine spiritual path recommends working on all aspects of our inner journey for this reason.


message 20: by Saiisha (new)

Saiisha | 544 comments Mod
Lorell wrote: "Hi, I am a PhD psychologist. the focus on my training was spirituality, its profound opportunities and its issues. I have been working in the field for many years.
The psycho-spiritual journey is ..."


Thanks for chiming in with your other-side-of-the-coin statement! You're right, a genuine spiritual path would include working on all aspects of our inner journey - well-a balanced path.


message 21: by Ian-Anthony (last edited Jul 14, 2016 06:56AM) (new)

Ian-Anthony Finnimore | 53 comments S.L. wrote: "Ian-Anthony wrote: "All of the above :-)

The inner awakening is definately a high but then there is a massive low for me in the sense that there is no conversation with the divine.

Sometimes it f..."


First question, what do you think the divine is?
*The energy of the universe that is not a petty God but closer to what man calls nature.

Second question, what kind of communication do you have hopes to achieve?
*The confirmation that the universal energy can look upon an individual soul - animals do not worship gods as far as we see yet they are closer to it.

Third question, what are you willing to receive?
*Anything - a telling off or a message or a pep talk or just a warm feeling.

Fourth question, what are you willing to give up to attain those goals/mandates
*Not my own sense of morality hence me not subscribing to a dogma or idolising a human living or dead. To me a normal working person or parent should be able to access the universal energy not just monks who forsake the world & lock themselves away.

Fifth Question, when you receive you message, how much work are you willing to do to transform yourself?
*I doubt that I would suddenly become a jedi master & I feel that I had far more spirituality as a child. I don't believe that a loving parent God would ask me to do the impossible without an example show of a benefit. This is why religion is unappealing.

I wouldn't give away my spark or my life lessons to a doctrine thats for certain but God would already know how to council me surely.

I dislike the term ego but I am not offended - I have stated myself that God is indefinable by mankind but I think that our best traits must be divine - hence my attempt at pursuing Lenity despite the odds daily :-)


message 22: by Kris (new)

Kris (krisg11) | 27 comments Saiisha wrote: "Kris wrote: "I have never heard of the term "spiritual bypass" before today. I found an article on spiritual bypass, in Pyschology Today, Beware of Spiritual Bypass: why we avoid rather than accept..."

I am not sure if people escape because they don't know, or they were not shown or taught how to cope or fear what other will think of them. I live in a state that has a very predominant religion. Some people I know suffer pain of not being able to be themselves and choose the path others expect for them; escaping into a life that does not bring them joy. They seem resolved.


message 23: by Saiisha (new)

Saiisha | 544 comments Mod
Kris wrote: "Saiisha wrote: "Kris wrote: "I have never heard of the term "spiritual bypass" before today. I found an article on spiritual bypass, in Pyschology Today, Beware of Spiritual Bypass: why we avoid ra..."

That's very true Kris, and it could also be that people are misled by religion - unfortunately, it happens all too often as well!


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