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Archived Workshop No New Posts > Book trailer for my first novel! Is it any good?

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message 1: by Bernard (last edited Jun 18, 2016 12:54PM) (new)

Bernard Glover | 31 comments I am sorry to say, though the visuals are great, the text reads very "chunky". It needs to be more of a narrative in style. Simply tell the story and let the power of the narrative draw people in.

e.g. "In time yet to come the Earth is no more, destroyed in a cataclysm. A new world has risen in its place whose inhabitants are called... Florisha is a normal teenaged girl of the ... tribe, the tribe of Peacemakers..."

If all goes well, by the end of your narrative readers will identify with Floresha and want to find out what happens on her quest.

Good luck with it.


message 2: by Georgette (new)

Georgette Baker | 8 comments The text is difficult to read in several places, I felt the trailer was long and when it was done, I knew the story and wasn't going to make the effort to read the book. Sorry!


message 3: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4282 comments Mod
Original comment removed for bookwhacking. It is fine to ask for opinions on your trailer in this thread, but if you have books to offer, free or otherwise, there are other places designated for that.


message 4: by L.C. (new)

L.C. Perry | 43 comments Whoops sorry about that!
I'll just post the link for the trailer this time :)

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8Oxt...


message 5: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4282 comments Mod
L.C. wrote: "Whoops sorry about that!
I'll just post the link for the trailer this time :)"


Thanks. After watching it, I would suggest to focus on what is unique about your story. The trailer feels like many other books of a similar type. Most everything in the trailer is typical of young adult sci-fi, fantasy, dystopian...

You may pull in more readers by making them curious about your book instead of reminding them of other books they may have already read.


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