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Authors Seeking FREE Betas > Epic Fantasy - First 90k of 250+k

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message 1: by Jeff (last edited Jun 23, 2016 03:57PM) (new)

Jeff | 25 comments I'm going through the process of tightening up an Epic Fantasy manuscript and need some input on the first major section of the story. The writing should be cleaned up enough to not need much proofreading. What I'm really looking for are quick readers that can give me some feedback on the pace and "feel" of the first part. Basically, I have a machete handy and need to know what to start cutting.
Potential betas should be comfortable with GRRM's A Song of Ice and Fire series and Pat Rothfuss' Kingkiller series.
The first 2,500 words are available upon request for a test spin if you think you might be interested.

"Dust Jacket" description:
For most of the common folk of Riversport, their lives are determined and settled before they are even born. However, for Darrien Lokkespey, the orphan heir to Lokkespey Manor, things are far from settled. On his way to becoming the Master of the Manor he must learn some hard truths about himself and secrets about the sources of his family's power. Given a task with no chance for refusal, or room for failure, he will journey to great capital cities, cursed lands, and beyond the planes of mortals.
For mortals and gods alike, all sins come due.


UPDATE: To clarify, I'm not looking for someone to do the hard work of being a junior editor. I'm the most interested in the reader's action to the narrative and the characters, I'll worry about the nuts and bolts of the prose later when I'm sure the story impacts the reader the way I want.
A potential Beta can offer suggestions if they want, but first and foremost, I just need you to read it and answer some questions.


message 2: by David (new)

David Hagberg | 4 comments Hi Jeff!

I love this genre and would love to give some feedback.
Send me a PM and tell me what kind of feedback you are after and I would love to have a read.


message 3: by Jeff (new)

Jeff | 25 comments David wrote: "Hi Jeff!

I love this genre and would love to give some feedback.
Send me a PM and tell me what kind of feedback you are after and I would love to have a read."


Will do.
Since I'm looking for a couple guinea pigs...er...beta readers, I'll state here that I'm experimenting with some writing techniques that we don't typically see in the Fantasy genre. Most of the time the narratives are pretty straight forward without using any literary devices to mix things up. I'm looking to do something a little different, but need to know before I start submitting my manuscript to agents, if it worked.


message 4: by Jeff (new)

Jeff | 25 comments I don't know if bumping is allowed, but I'm doing it anyway.

I still need a few more people.


message 5: by Karen (new)

Karen (kivrin) | 70 comments Jeff are you willing to do a beta swap for another epic fantasy at 175000 words?


message 6: by Jeff (new)

Jeff | 25 comments Karen wrote: "Jeff are you willing to do a beta swap for another epic fantasy at 175000 words?"

That's an interesting proposal. You might end up on the wrong side of it as I have no experience being a Beta reader myself.
What sort of feedback are you looking for in from a Beta, and can you give me a dust jacket sell on your story?


message 7: by Jeff (new)

Jeff | 25 comments Room for more, please message me if you think you might be interested.


message 8: by Karen (new)

Karen (kivrin) | 70 comments Karen wrote: "Jeff are you willing to do a beta swap for another epic fantasy at 175000 words?"

If you're a reader and can tell me what works and doesn't, then there is no wrong side.

I like to hear a reader's thoughts as they go through the story. Such as "I like what you did here" or "I don't see the character saying this" or "this doesn't work at all" or "I'm confused about what's going on" or "oooh, here's a clue and I think it means _____".

I don't have a jacket as I have no graphic artist skills. But chapters 1-3 are posted on Wattpad if you want to take a look.

https://www.wattpad.com/71838801-the-...


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