Creative Writing discussion

fanfiction critiques > sonya | (Aria/ Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812) Aria: The Exploration

Comments Showing 1-3 of 3 (3 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Lyd's Archive (7/'15 to 6/'18) (last edited Jun 26, 2016 05:52PM) (new)

Lyd's Archive (7/'15 to 6/'18) (violabelcik) | 42 comments

Sonya - san




and Peggy-san

Hello! Konichi-wa! Zdrasvuite! My name is Natasha.

It's been a year since I left Manhome. In this time I've learned many things about Neo-Petrograd and being an Undine. Every day is a new beautiful wonder, whether it's sunny...
      Or whether it's not. At the present, rain falls onto my new winter uniform as I fetch the food for President Maa, the cat president of the Orange Planet Company.

This Maa is the third cat by that name living at the present, the first being the second President Maa at the main Orange Planet headquarters in Neo-Venezia, and the second being the President Maa at the Orange Planet headquarters in Neo-Amsterdam.

Though the cat is called president, the real executive work goes to my trainer, Sonya, who is also my cousin. Until I become a Prima undine like she is, I will train under her and must have her in any gondola I row with customers in it.

Who knows what can happen next? Neo-Petrograd is full of wonderful surprises and something good is always mixed in. Join me on this wonderful adventure!

(Akari, the Aria canon character I based this alternate Natasha on)

message 2: by Lyd's Archive (7/'15 to 6/'18) (last edited Jun 13, 2016 02:38PM) (new)

Lyd's Archive (7/'15 to 6/'18) (violabelcik) | 42 comments I roll over Sonya as she sleeps

"I can't sleep!" I exclaim "Sonya, Sonya-senpai, how can you sleep! It's such a beautiful night, the rain on the window reflects the stars, and there are so many of them! It's begun to snow too!"

I roll out on the other side of the bed.

(This might be what Natasha could see)

"There was never such a night before!"
I pull Sonya's hand and run a few laps around our dormitory. Our footsteps echo on the wooden floors.

"Careful with that," Sonya says.
My face falls a little.
"True, I suppose. I'm just a bit lost in the moment."

Outside the window of the Orange Planet building stands Andrey Bolkonsky. He's come to Orange Planet on business issues to find it closed. He sighs. It is night after all.

Andrey is a salamander. That means his job is to control the weather on planet Aqua, a terraformed Mars, to keep it from being too hot or two cold. This means he works on a weather station in 12-hour shifts and should spend the rest of his time sleeping.

He doesn't, though. Instead of leaving, he watches the two Undines at the window, one a brunette Single, a higher-level trainee, and the other an auburn-haired Prima who must be her trainer. They are beautiful together, especially the Single, who he vaguely remembers. Natasha, is it? Perhaps she'll show up at the next big festival.

Love is a true Neo-Petrograd miracle.

message 3: by Lyd's Archive (7/'15 to 6/'18) (last edited Jun 21, 2016 09:12PM) (new)

Lyd's Archive (7/'15 to 6/'18) (violabelcik) | 42 comments After the next day's lunch, I feed President Maa on the deck of the Orange Planet building. Training's been postponed for a few hours as the three head undines: Sonya-san, Marya-san, and Peggy-san are off on business during the New Year season's heavy flow of tourists.

      The phone rings from inside and I open the door, trailed by Maa. The caller is an unfamiliar voice.

     "Hello?" he asks.
     "This is orange planet," I reply, "How may I help you?"
     "Could I book a ride in Miss Sonya's Gondola? Or Miss Marya's? Or Miss Peggy's?"
     "I'm sorry, but all three are quite busy."
     "Well you're not busy," the caller remarks, "Could I book a ride with you?"
     "I'm still an apprentice," I answer, "I need Sonya-san or Marya-san or Peggy-san to accompany me if I take any customers."
     "Well, then take me as a friend."

      I hang up and race down to where the gondolas are docked. A young man with a thin face and small beard in the crisp uniform of the Neo-Petrograd salamanders stands in front of my gondola holding a bag.

[Andrey (left)]

     "Are you the man who just called?" I ask.
    &nbsp"I am indeed." He holds out his hand. "Andrey Bolkonsky.

     "Natalya Rostova. Is there any particular place you want to go?"

back to top