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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Blurb for an ebook

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message 1: by [deleted user] (last edited Jun 10, 2016 10:43AM) (new)

Hi Everyone!

I am preparing a blurb for my psychological thriller .
Would really appreciate your thoughts on it.


What do we really know about ourselves?.

Martin Bennett is a content 36 year old man whose life is turned upside-down when his long-term girlfriend leaves him. He begins to doubt everything he has ever believed in, everything that has made him who he is today: his faith, his values, his morals.
In the months that follow, he is abandoned by every single one of his friends and he is left isolated in a world he no longer understands and is repulsed by. He spirals down into a cesspool of self-pity and bitterness from which he sees no escape. And then, at the height of his depression, he learns that he is the prime suspect in a brutal murder...

(possible last sentence of the blurb)
But in a twist of fate, being suspected of murder actually leads to Martin being given an opportunity to put his life back together.

Thanks


message 2: by Sandy (new)

Sandy Frediani That should probably be - depths of his depression - since depression is a downer. Heights of ecstasy (upper) - depths of depression (downer),


message 3: by [deleted user] (last edited Jun 09, 2016 09:29AM) (new)

Thanks for that Sandaidh. That's interesting, but I'm not sure if it is wrong to use height. Height as when he was most depressed. I just searched the intenet and they seemed to have the same number of hits. Maybe you can use both.
Did you think the rest of the blurb was okay?


message 4: by Sandy (new)

Sandy Frediani The rest was fine, but...been there done that re: deep depression. There are no heights to it at all. If nothing else, you already have him spiraling down and using 'heights' contradicts it. Continuity if nothing else. Bi-polar (manic-depressive) is going to have heights (ups) and depths (downs), but depression by itself is nothing but downs until that point when one either goes the ultimate down (death) or claws one's way out.


message 5: by Ama (new)

Ama Pomaa (amapomaa) | 7 comments The first line is quite engaging.
I feel sorry for Martin and would like to know how he gets himself out of his situation. If that's you were going for, then it works. * abandon should be abandoned.


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Sandaidh, I'll have to ponder on that.

Thanks Leticia, it is what I was going for. And thank you for catching that. Of course it should be abandoned


message 7: by Danielle (new)

Danielle | 125 comments Sounds depressing. Maybe give a hint of how he perseveres? To me, it sounds like it's an endless amount of depression that he might never get out of. I would like something to show me that he will.

And I agree with 'heights of depression' It gets the impression that you want across


message 8: by [deleted user] (last edited Jun 09, 2016 10:31AM) (new)

Danielle wrote: "Sounds depressing. Maybe give a hint of how he perseveres? To me, it sounds like it's an endless amount of depression that he might never get out of. I would like something to show me that he will...."

Thanks for your input. I definitely see where you're coming from Daniella. I'll have to think about that. The thing is, though, the reader doesn't know if he is going to get out of his depression or if he his the killer or not, so I can't really show that he will. Maybe I'll try and find another way to inject some kind of positivity into the blurb, but it is a pretty dark novel. (not for everyone, I suppose.)


message 9: by Danielle (new)

Danielle | 125 comments Maybe asking an open question at the end will help. Here's a suggestion.

Will the murder trial have him spiraling even further into chaos or will it give him the strength he needs to preserve?

Something like that makes me want to find out what is going to happen. And is open enough it doesn't give anything away.


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

Danielle wrote: "Maybe asking an open question at the end will help. Here's a suggestion.

Will the murder trial have him spiraling even further into chaos or will it give him the strength he needs to preserve?

S..."

The question at the end is an option I have definitely thought about, and will now think about again:)
I'll see what I can come up with and then ask people to compare the two.
Writing a blurb is much harder than writing a novel!
Thanks Daniella


message 11: by Danielle (new)

Danielle | 125 comments Lol I completely understand.
Good luck!


message 12: by Stan (new)

Stan Morris (morriss003) | 140 comments Here is my suggestion.


When his long-term girlfriend leaves him, Martin Bennett's life is turned upside-down. He begins to doubt everything he has ever believed in: his faith, his values, his morals. Abandoned by his friends, left isolated in a world he doesn't understand, he spirals down into a cesspool of self-pity and bitterness from which he sees no escape. And then, at the height of his depression, he learns he is the prime suspect in a brutal murder...


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

Thanks for your input Stan!


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