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P.J. O’Rourke

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message 1: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “If you happen to be on a sinking ship with too few lifeboats, take one and quietly slip away. There’s going to be a terrific fuss among the drowning passengers, and it’s rude to deliberately overhear an argument which is none of your concern.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, Etiquette for Rude People’ 1990.


message 2: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “It is customary for the groom to provide dinner for all the participants in the wedding rehearsal. Even though the honeymoon is rehearsed more often than the wedding, it is not necessary for the groom to buy dinner after each honeymoon rehearsal. However a small snack is always appreciated.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, Etiquette for Rude People’ 1990


message 3: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude or wearing something as expensive as getting her nude is going to be.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, Etiquette for Rude People’ 1990.


message 4: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “The most important way to assure career advancement is to be helpful. If someone has too much to do, help him out. Maybe you have a co-worker who has completed five or six very successful projects. He probably won’t have time to take credit for all of them. Help him out.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, Etiquette for Rude People’ 1990.


message 5: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “Brides are always given away because it's illegal to sell them and impossible to get anything for them in trade except an out-of-work son-in-law.” — P.J. O'Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, an Etiquette Book for Rude People’ 1990.


message 6: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal in women. Chief among these is the Porsche 911 Cabriolet.” — P.J. O'Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, an Etiquette Book for Rude People’ 1990.


message 7: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the sources of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist.


message 8: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “Politics is the business of gaining power and privilege without possessing merit.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist.


message 9: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “Never serve oysters in a month that has no paycheck in it.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘The Bachelor Home Companion’ 1993.


message 10: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “Children are caused by having sex. Because of the media attention paid to kidnapping, artificial insemination, surrogate motherhood, invitro fertilization, and illegal adoption, it can be easy to forget this. But normal sex (consult your doctor) can result in pregnancy. Astonishingly enough, this is often intentional” — P.J. O'Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, Etiquette for Rude People’ 1990


message 11: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “Marathon runners say they run because "it makes me feel better about myself." More intelligent people do things that make others feel better about them. What's the difference how you feel about yourself? You're probably not in a position to give yourself a raise.” — P.J. O'Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, Etiquette for Rude People’ 1990.


message 12: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “No matter how liberated she is, every woman still wants a husband. No one knows why, but it’s true. Modern Manners demands then that whenever you visit a single woman, you should put your feet up on her furniture, smoke stinky cigars, and refuse to take the garbage out. Identify with the role and try to be a husband at all times. Ask every single woman you know, ‘When’s dinner?’ or ‘Why you putting on so much weight.’” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, Etiquette for Rude People’ 1990.


message 13: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “It’s easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America’s favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, An Etiquette Book for Rude People’ 1990.


message 14: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “Alcohol provides you with all those things which are lacking in modern life because of the disappearance of organized religion and domestic servants: Alcohol makes you feel important when you are not.” — P.J. O'Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, Etiquette for Rude People’ 1990.


message 15: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “For years, we have been told: 'Never point a gun at anyone.' Modern manners has now revised that quaint saying to: 'Never point an unloaded gun at anyone'.” — P.J. O'Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, an Etiquette Book for Rude People’ 1990


message 16: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “Fame is a communicable disease. If you get screwed by someone who’s got it, you may catch it yourself.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Modern Manners, Etiquette for Rude People’ 1990.


message 17: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “Living wills should be very specific about the definition of ‘brain dead’ and not so carelessly worded that they can be enacted by greedy heirs if you foot goes to sleep.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist.


message 18: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy— a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting "Sieg Health" and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise, and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted, and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of some kind.” — P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘Republican Party Reptile’ 1987.


message 19: by Ramon4 (new)

Ramon4 | 19 comments “When government does, occasionally, work, it works in an elitist fashion. That is, government is most easily manipulated by people who have money and power already. This is why government benefits usually go to people who don't need benefits from government. Government may make some environmental improvements, but these will be improvements for rich bird-watchers. And no one in government will remember that when poor people go bird-watching they do it at Kentucky Fried Chicken.” — P. J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American political satirist, in ‘All the Trouble in the World’ 1994.


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