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Authors Seeking FREE Betas > NA Serial Killer Thriller, first 3 chapters

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message 1: by Beau (last edited May 07, 2014 06:06PM) (new)

Beau Hall | 6 comments (updated summary)

Marvin Hill is too old for this shit. Killing bums used to give him a sense of accomplishment. If deadbeats showed up in his town, he'd cut them up and bury them.

Nobody ever thanked him — nobody even knew — but he didn't mind. Keeping the city safe for his family was all the thanks he ever needed.

But at seventy six, he knows it's time to stop. His granddaughter Kate is back from college, and the last time she stopped by the house, she almost caught him burying the whore he'd killed the night before.

He's sure he could stop tomorrow if it wasn't for his assistant, Mary Francis. She's helped him for fifty years in exchange for the chance to photograph every grisly detail. But lately, she's been making him kill her enemies instead of bums. How does a bitter hedgehog of a woman with no family make enemies? Just ask the cashier who short-changed her. She could answer, if her throat wasn't cut ear to ear.

If he refuses Mary, she'll mail a few of her snapshots to the police.

When Kate finds a blurry photo next to Mary's bloody body, Marvin has to act fast before his granddaughter connects the dots. Unfortunately, it's a little hard with Mary's ghost nagging at him constantly.

SNAPSHOT is a 51,000-word heart-warming tale with bloody bodies, shallow graves and old people who can't run that fast.
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The full MS is just over 50K, and I'm 7,500 words into the most recent revision. It's a thriller with a LGBT protagonist, a serial killer barely holding on to a double life, and a nagging old woman who comes back from the grave just to annoy the crap out of him.

Your feedback would be extremely appreciated!


message 2: by Paulina (new)

Paulina Romero (promero95) Oohhh! This sounds so good! My email is pauromero24@hotmail.com

Can't wait to read it!


message 3: by Beau (new)

Beau Hall | 6 comments Thanks Paulina, I'll send it out shortly!


message 4: by Beau (new)

Beau Hall | 6 comments Sorry - quick question - what format would you like it?


message 5: by Husnaa (new)

Husnaa  (xohusnaaxo) | 48 comments I'd interested in beta'ing for you as well. My email is: hhassam13@hotmail.com


message 6: by Beau (new)

Beau Hall | 6 comments Fantastic! I'll send you the PDF as well, since I've got it ready now.

I'm working on refining my summary/synopsis of the story. WHO KNEW that was a school unto itself.


message 7: by Beau (new)

Beau Hall | 6 comments If you're mildly interested but not sure, I've re-worked the blurb, I hope this sets up the story better. (Tell me if you think it makes it sound more interesting?):

Marvin Hill is too old for this nonsense. Killing bums used to give him a sense of accomplishment. If deadbeats showed up in his town, he'd cut them up and bury them.

Nobody ever thanked him — nobody even knew — but he didn't mind. Keeping the city safe for his family was all the thanks he ever needed.

But at seventy six, he knows it's time to stop. His granddaughter Kate is back from college, and the last time she stopped by the house, she almost caught him burying the whore he'd killed the night before.

He's sure he could stop tomorrow if it wasn't for his assistant, Mary Francis. She's helped him for fifty years in exchange for the chance to photograph every grisly detail. But lately, she's been making him kill her enemies instead of bums. How does a bitter hedgehog of a woman with no family make enemies? Just ask the cashier who short-changed her. She could answer, if her throat wasn't cut ear to ear.

If he refuses Mary, she'll mail a few of her snapshots to the police.

When Kate finds a blurry photo next to Mary's bloody body, Marvin has to act fast before his granddaughter connects the dots. Unfortunately, it's a little hard with Mary's ghost nagging at him constantly.

SNAPSHOT is a 51,000-word heart-warming tale with bloody bodies, shallow graves and old people who can't run that fast.


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