Writer's Aid discussion

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message 1: by Maeros (last edited Mar 01, 2016 03:57AM) (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments Avast, unwary wanderer; you've stumbled upon my lair. Here you'll find spare writing, one-shots and poetry; a dumping ground, a dragon's den of undiscovered treasures and not-so special constructs, of failures successes and those things I hate but, perversely, someone somewhere is sure to love. I'll slowly be filling this with different things I've done, as a kind of collection point. One more thing: Don't be a ghost! If you're reading, please be speaking - even if it's just to say you hate it, please drop me a line - what do you think, how do you feel about it? Doesn't have to be much, and I'll try and do the same for you. C:


message 2: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments The Familiar

Cup of coffee, paper, dressing gown
Small necessities to start off every day
Pattern, safety, comfort - the familiar
Hold your head, won’t let you run away.

Brush hair, lace shoes, don’t let the demons in;
Tie straight, hair neat, face pleasantly opaque
Lock door, close coat, keep keys in your right pocket
Don’t let them see, keep hiding – piece of cake.


message 3: by Hallie (new)

Hallie (inkyhallie) This is so cute!


message 4: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments How do you mean?


message 5: by Hallie (new)

Hallie (inkyhallie) I mean, it's so nice, and I don't know.... I found it cute. I don't know why, but the line Don’t let them see, keep hiding – piece of cake felt so cute, although it simultaneously reminded me of 'Let it go' from Frozen.


message 6: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments lol, I hadn't thought of that xD


message 7: by Hallie (new)

Hallie (inkyhallie) I'm strange in a few ways.


message 8: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments (This one won't make much sense to anyone out of context, unfortunately, but ah well.)

Font wars
Typography; a funny thing to fight about
But then I guess it serves to let our feelings out
Poems bring out passion in the best of us
Though others seem to do it – somehow – with a minimum of fuss
I’ve insulted you again, mistakenly, my dear
I’m doomed to keep on doing it; unavoidable, I fear.
What rhymes with ‘death’ that isn’t ‘breath’?
Nor ‘culpreth’ – avoid cliché – not ‘Macbeth’
Cameron kills stags like he’s writing a fairy tale;
We’ll fight over Garamond, Sans-serif and Arial.


message 9: by Sanne (new)

Sanne (sanlily195) Maeros - Never call anyone evil until you have stood upon their threshold wrote: "(This one won't make much sense to anyone out of context, unfortunately, but ah well.)

Font wars
Typography; a funny thing to fight about
But then I guess it serves to let our feelings out
Poems b..."


Even though I don't know the context, I do really like this poem. The only thing I'm not such a big fan of, is the amount of punction marks you use, but that's just a matter of taste I guess.


message 10: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments Sanne - I'm glad you like it :) It's an interesting point about the punctuation, several people have encouraged me to use less xD
I'll work on it, but as you say - it's partly down to taste.


message 11: by Sanne (new)

Sanne (sanlily195) Maeros - Never call anyone evil until you have stood upon their threshold wrote: "Sanne - I'm glad you like it :) It's an interesting point about the punctuation, several people have encouraged me to use less xD
I'll work on it, but as you say - it's partly down to taste."


I do think using punctuation marks can give poems just that little bit of extra, but for me it's all about balance. On the other side, poetry is quite personal, so you shouldn't feel obligated to change too much.

This comment doesn't really make any sense, I'm sorry haha


message 12: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments I'll work on it C:
Thanks so much for your feedback!


message 13: by Sanne (new)

Sanne (sanlily195) No problem :)


message 14: by Hallie (new)

Hallie (inkyhallie) Maeros - Never call anyone evil until you have stood upon their threshold wrote: "(This one won't make much sense to anyone out of context, unfortunately, but ah well.)

Font wars
Typography; a funny thing to fight about
But then I guess it serves to let our feelings out
Poems b..."


Please don't take amiss, but since you said you wanted a candid opinion.... I didn't like this one that much. I didn't dislike it, but I didn't like it either.


message 15: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments I understand :)
tbh I don't think anyone would like it not having been in the context of the lesson.


message 16: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments Rather than a dancer

Rather than a dancer – treading lightly, paper thin – I’m a soldier.

Had my chances to show courage, and I’d like to think I took them. But one day I couldn’t simply trust; I asked for proof.

‘Make me’, her reply, and to my shame I couldn’t – couldn’t force her. Makes no -

sense, no sense at all, my fear; she’d jump into the flames for me, and I for her.

It’ll happen, someday, this much I know; I’ll melt, she’ll burn, and I’ll have won but lost my last and -

only battle. Perhaps you’ll see me, tin soldier in the fire – crumbling in each other’s arms, my perfect ballerina girl, and I.


message 17: by Maeros (last edited Mar 02, 2016 09:42AM) (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments Twitter Conflicts

Controversy is a funny thing
An innocent word or change of face
Can cause a thousand bells to ring
And bring at a truly scary pace
A thousand opinions up in arms
All ready and raring to do you harm.

And yet upon the other hand
You face an equally frightening foe
A fearsome and alarming band
Who agree with you; and toe to toe
They stand and scream that YOU were right –
And so begins a brutal fight.

Ten thousand fingers at the keys
Two thousand eyes upon the screen
Opposed to everything they see
They’ll tweet their ‘civil hands’ unclean –
But they provide, these bouts of hate,
Excuses to procrastinate.


message 18: by Hallie (new)

Hallie (inkyhallie) I loved these two!


message 19: by Sanne (new)

Sanne (sanlily195) To me, your poems keep getting better and better haha :) I really love the last one!


message 20: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments aww thanks you guysss!


message 21: by Maeros (last edited Mar 05, 2016 06:41AM) (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments The effort of efforts

I've never been keen upon things such as trying
I never think much about serious thought
If you asked me to work I might just run home crying
I wish concentration could only be bought;
But still I regard with fascination
The concept of procrastination.


message 22: by Sanne (new)

Sanne (sanlily195) Most relatable poem yet :P


message 23: by Maeros (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments lol


message 24: by Maeros (last edited Mar 10, 2016 02:57AM) (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments This one means a lot to me guys, so I'd really appreciate any feedback :)

Paper Flower

I held it in my hands - just so -
as shelter from the wind and rain
a paper flower cannot grow
but what can't live cannot feel pain.

A stranger looked and smiled to see
a red spark in my world of grey
but lasting colour cannot be;
Ink mixed with water fades away.

So delicately made, and still
so bright and pleasing to the eye
release can be a bitter pill
but I must swallow, or I die.

I gave it up, then, in the end
I let it drift away from me
float past the rocks and round the bend
washed down the river, to the sea.

To let it disappear from view
took all my courage, strength, resolve
I left my muddied gift from you;
red petals melted, sank, dissolved.


message 25: by Hallie (new)

Hallie (inkyhallie) This is really good and touching!


message 26: by Maeros (last edited Apr 13, 2016 06:59AM) (new)

Maeros   (maeros) | 61 comments heads up, you lot, this is Disney related. Just a memory from my Easter holiday. :)

Doting adults and the uninitiated often seem to associate Disney with those sleepy toddlers and tiara-decked small girls who are common in the lands of nappy commercials and grandmother’s photo frames but an endangered species in the real world. Their eyes mist over when the word is mentioned and, if you are lucky, they murmur oddments about ‘when they were young’ and ‘wishing upon stars’.
They have the wrong impression.
My companion flicked his dark hair – forever evacuating his ponytail - out of his eyes, drew breath and joined thirteen year old Jonathon Weiss in screaming the opening lines of ‘I just can’t wait to be King’. In actual fact Mr Weiss was probably not screaming, twenty two years ago, but with the volume so high in Sam’s less-than-spacious car it was a forgivable supposition; I rolled my eyes in fond surrender and joined in as we swung across a round-about and into the second line. Within moments we’d settled comfortably into a system, myself singing – screeching – Simba and Nala’s parts, with Sam supplying Zazu the hornbill’s sardonic remarks with ruthless dignity and utter abandonment of the steering wheel.
Our entourage, perfect examples of the doting and illusions generation, sat silent and staring in the back, their knuckles slowly bleaching white, and we forgot them.


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