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Archived Workshop No New Posts > Blurb opinion, help and critique.

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message 1: by Nathan (last edited Dec 08, 2015 12:46PM) (new)

Nathan Wall (goodreadscomnathanwall) | 37 comments Hi all, I generally go for the "less is more" approach to blurbs. In fact, the blurbs for the first two books in my series were whittled down to one paragraph.

However, this one I am finding special trouble with. As the world of my novels grows, includes more characters, ideas, back story and plot points, so do my troubles with a blurb!

I've come up with the following, but I'm not quite convinced. I feel it could be shorter. Yet, I somehow feel that there's already SO MUCH NOT included in the blurb that its current form doesn't even do the book justice.

Those who've read the book (releasing February 10 btw and looking for ARC reviewers) have said this is good and pretty much sums up the gist of the main story thread in the novel. No, these readers weren't family or friends but fellow authors I've met online. So, there's that to consider in their favor.

So, here's the blurb for "Artificial Light," book three in the "Evolution of Angels" series: a Sci-Fi/Mythology/Action novel:

It's been a year since Jarrod discovered erased memories and incredible powers. Yet, with the truth comes harsh realities. An insatiable lust to grow more powerful burns within and puts everyone in danger, including the only friends he has left. His desire is to live in isolation. However, never one to break his word, there's still a promise left to keep.

Standing opposed are a force from Heaven only unleashed in the most dire situations. The Light of Souls has been disrupted and replaced with a fake. Heaven must find the culprit. The Assassins, three angels from the fallen Corners living out their penance, are charged with eliminating the perpetrator. When their sights turn to Jarrod, he and all those around him are marked for death.

With the most dangerous killers in creation hunting him down, Jarrod must learn to evolve his powers without losing control. Plans are derailed when it seems the Assassins don't intend to kill him, but to coax out his true fate. A strange voice in Jarrod's mind grows stronger. It claims to be the rightful owner of his body. When new alliances are formed, and old ones turn sour, Jarrod must decide once and for all if he's a hero, or a villain waiting to be unleashed.

That's it. Thoughts?


message 2: by Deanna (new)

Deanna Dee (ddgeekwriter) | 2 comments Hi, Nathan,
I haven’t read your first two books, but I had a few question marks while reading your blurb. Notes in brackets below.

It's been a year since Jarrod discovered erased memories and incredible powers. Yet, with the truth comes harsh realities. [Not sure you need this previous line.] An insatiable lust to grow more powerful burns within and puts everyone in danger, including the only friends he has left. His desire is to live in isolation. However, never one to break his word, there's still a promise left to keep.

Standing opposed are [think it should be “is.” And opposed to whom? Jarrod? The previous paragraph doesn’t give any indication Jarrod is fighting someone.] a force from Heaven only unleashed in the most dire situations. The Light of Souls has been disrupted and replaced with a fake. Heaven must find the culprit. [Don’t think you need this previous sentence.] The Assassins, three angels from the fallen Corners living out their penance, are charged with eliminating the perpetrator. When their sights turn to Jarrod, he and all those around him are marked for death.

With the most dangerous killers in creation hunting him down, Jarrod must learn to evolve his powers without losing control. Plans are derailed when it seems the Assassins don't intend to kill him, but to coax out his true fate. [I feel like this line gives too much away about what the Assassins want from him?] A strange voice in Jarrod's mind grows stronger. It claims to be the rightful owner of his body. When new alliances are formed, and old ones turn sour, Jarrod must decide once and for all if he's a hero, or a villain waiting to be unleashed. [Awesome ending line!]


message 3: by Nathan (new)

Nathan Wall (goodreadscomnathanwall) | 37 comments Thanks for the notes!


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