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message 1: by Tanya (new)

Tanya Lisle (tanyalisle) | 11 comments I'm currently getting ready to put one of my books into print and I'm hitting a wall with the back cover blurb. It's the first book of an anthology series, if that helps, and it's in the supernatural horror genre. Any and all suggestions welcome.

Magic still exists. It always has. Just because you never see it doesn't mean it's not there.

Hidden away in dark alleys and performed by those with the proper training, magic still thrives. Being forced into the shadows over the years has created some issues, with some wanting to bring it further out into the light and use it for their own purposes.

The Syndicate is an organization dedicated to keeping that from happening. They have eyes and ears all over the city, watching and making sure no one steps out of line. For those who do, the punishment will be swift and not necessarily painless.

The stories in Syndicate offer a glimpse into this strange underworld behind the veil where things are not always what they seem and you may find out that you belong there after all.



message 2: by Morris (last edited Aug 27, 2015 06:46AM) (new)

Morris Graham (morris_g) I know this is not going to be possible yet, but the best blurb on the back cover is four or five newspaper reviews saying your book is amazing.

But, I think the blurb is way-too long for the back cover; it will force it to be in tiny print. Boil it down to something that will grab the reader if they have liked the cover and flipped it over. Condense.

Make it about this size...
(Hidden away in dark alleys and performed by those with the proper training, magic still thrives. Being forced into the shadows over the years has created some issues, with some wanting to bring it further out into the light and use it for their own purposes.)


message 3: by Tom (new)

Tom (tom_shutt) | 20 comments Tanya, does your book have any particularly interesting protagonists that you could focus on? While the blurb does a good job of inviting us into the world you've created, I don't know who I'm rooting for or why I should care about them.

I would respectfully disagree with Morris, at least in part. Randomly picking up a dozen books on my shelf, it's true that the best of them had praise for other books written by the author (or earlier books in the series). But the ones that focused more on the book I was holding had rather extensive descriptions, using the back cover space to its fullest potential. One had fantastic artwork that the author wanted to showcase, so the blurb was pushed to the side and presented in a different way than usual, but there was still a considerable amount of text.

I think the blurb you've given, Tanya, is just the right length, but some of it should be devoted to whoever our protagonists are so that some relationship is formed before opening the book. Even if it's just to give a glimpse of a few of the characters in the anthology:

Magic still exists. It always has. Just because you never see it doesn't mean it's not there.

Hidden away in dark alleys and performed by those with the proper training, magic still thrives. An orphan with the gilded touch. A young woman whose family is steeped in dark secrets. A wizened battlemage with regrets that have turned his heart to stone. Being forced into the shadows over the years has created some issues, and more than a few of the magically gifted are itching to go public with their powers.

The Syndicate is an organization dedicated to keeping that from happening. They have eyes and ears all over the city, watching and making sure no one steps out of line. For those who do, the punishment will be swift and not necessarily painless.

The stories in Syndicate offer a glimpse into this strange underworld behind the veil where magic comes alive and things are not always what they seem.


It's all made up, as I have no clue what characters are included in the story, but just having something to visualize makes it more attractive before we even get to Page 1.


message 4: by Tanya (new)

Tanya Lisle (tanyalisle) | 11 comments Thanks! Getting reviews is probably not within the scope for the current cover, but I can work with the alternative. Here's a rewrite with the suggestions:

Magic still exists. It always has. Just because you never see it doesn't mean it's not there.

Hidden away in dark alleys and performed by those with the proper training, magic still thrives. A man desperate to bring his wife back from the dead. A young woman being followed by a strange green glow. Two children that delight in bringing people into the depths of hell. Being forced into the shadows over the years has made more than a few of the magically gifted itching to step into the light.

The Syndicate is an organization dedicated to keeping that from happening. They have eyes and ears all over the city, watching and making sure no one steps out of line. For those who do, the punishment will be swift and not necessarily painless.

The stories in Syndicate offer a glimpse into this strange underworld behind the veil where magic comes alive and things are not always what they seem.


Better?


message 5: by Joe (last edited Aug 27, 2015 09:04PM) (new)

Joe Jackson (shoelessauthor) If I may offer a suggestion, move "magic still thrives" to directly after "Hidden away in dark alleys," so that the list of characters flows after we read "performed by those with the proper training."

Like this:

Hidden away in dark alleys, magic still thrives, performed by those with the proper training: A man desperate to bring his wife back from the dead; a young woman being followed by a strange green glow; two children that delight in bringing people into the depths of hell. Being forced into the shadows over the years has made more than a few of the magically gifted itch to step into the light.

(Note: remove the -ing from itching)


message 6: by Tanya (new)

Tanya Lisle (tanyalisle) | 11 comments Thanks! Reads a lot better now. And you saved me from my editor for the grammar error.


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