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Archived Workshop No New Posts > blurb help please:)

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Teri Dluznieski (horsewisevt) | 15 comments Hi,

looking for help with my blurb. I've been slaving away at my cover, and lost track of the 2nd half of the book-selling equation... until someone noted to me, that my blurb didn't really get the job done (my words;)

anyone out there, esp re paranormal-supernatural-fantasy genre who can lend some help?

I'll gladly offer a copy of the book, in exchange for the help;)

main blurb:
American by Birth, Inca and Mexican by heritage: Wayra struggles to navigate through college, life, and the Universe: all balanced against her destiny as a powerful shaman. Everything seems as balanced as any teens life ever really is... until a chance encounter opens up a chink between dimensions. Wayra becomes the target for forces that have been drawn by all the violence, anger and aggression on our planet. it feeds on it... and it's HUNGRY... her life will be forever changed by the invisible Wind blowing through the cosmos...

addended info..
Wayra's story is a real-world blend, with some honest looks and perspectives of YA worlds: from social and environmental issues to drug use- all set within the dangers of the cosmic multiverse. It's about finding your place in the world- when the world is much larger than what most of us can see and experience... because the invisible realms are very real- just not the way most people portray them:) Those cosmic realms nudge and push us one way or another, toward awesome futures, or toward our personal disasters... the cosmic, invisible furniture... so life becomes learning not to bump into and trip over the furniture


message 2: by G.K. (new)

G.K. DeRosa | 8 comments Hi Teri,

I'm currently working on a blurb for my new book and I feel your pain! I like it over all, I would just do some tweaking with the punctuation. The first sentence is a bit too long with too many colons and commas in my opinion. Also it should be teen's life (sorry grammar freak!). Perhaps you could replace "chink" with a stronger word, it doesn't grab my attention as much as I think it should. The use of the ellipses is also a little much. It holds more meaning if it's used more sparingly. Over all it sounds intriguing though! Good luck!

I just posted my blurb on the thread too, I'd welcome your feedback!

Thanks!
GK DeRosa
www.wilderbook.com
http://amzn.to/1LW9a9s


Teri Dluznieski (horsewisevt) | 15 comments heya! yeah... amazing how much time can go into polishing a short piece of writing! makes me think on teaching kids to write simple paragraphs... just polishing the one concept lol:)

this is my latest revision.... and I wonder if we should have a blurb writing thread somewhere... I am appreciating more and more, that knowing how - and being able- to write a story.... and being able to write a good marketing-blurb... are two very different beasts:)

what is the link to your blurb-thread- snippet, in case i don't readily find it;)

Teri

Wayra is one of the last of the Andean Shaman, standing between the Seen and the Unseen. She grew up learning all the secret mysteries of life and the universe. Mountains, rivers, and clouds speak to her. She journeys between the realms of the living, and the dead. She senses countless energies that affect the world. In the ordinary world, she struggles to find her place- both as a young adult, and as a healer. A healer in a society that no longer understands the power and importance of cosmic forces.

At 19, Wayra is coming into her power as a healer and shaman. It is her role, keeping the Seen and the Unseen in balance. The two aspects intertwine and affect each other continuously.

Something from the Unseen begins stalking this world, starting with Wayra. From disrupted dreams to friends in trouble to her animal totems dying, the Unseen is slowly taking over her life. Wayra must figure out what the force drawing toward her is, because it might be more than her own personal world at stake.


message 4: by Cori (new)

Cori Dyson | 23 comments Your first paragraph reads better, but your second paragraph is largely a repeat of first paragraph. I'm assuming the fact that she is turning 19 is important to the book. Maybe you could fold that I to paragraph 2 or 3. The last paragraph, it doesn't seem to work and I can't pinpoint for you - sorry.


message 5: by G.K. (new)

G.K. DeRosa | 8 comments Hi Teri,

This is the link to mine https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

I agree with the comment above, the first paragraph is good but the second two seem superfluous. Maybe put the age 19 bit in the first paragraph and tie in the Unseen evil as well.


Teri Dluznieski (horsewisevt) | 15 comments hhmmmmm.... back to the drawing board.. lol:)

slow progress... slouching toward...???


message 7: by K.P. (new)

K.P. Merriweather (kp_merriweather) | 266 comments taking a stab....

Wayra is one of the last Andean Shaman, standing between the Seen and Unseen. Journeying through the realms of the living and dead, she senses countless energies that affect the world.

Wayra struggles to find her place as a young adult navigating through college, life, and the Universe until a chance encounter opens up a tear between dimensions!

Wayra becomes the target of the invisible wind blowing through the Cosmos, a hungry violent angry aggressive force drawing toward her and slowly taking over her life...


hope this helps!


Teri Dluznieski (horsewisevt) | 15 comments Wayra is one of the last of the Andean Shaman, standing between the Seen and the Unseen. She grew up learning all the secret mysteries of life and the universe. Mountains, rivers, and clouds speak to her. She journeys between the realms of the living, and the dead: tuned into the countless energies that affect our world. In the ordinary world, she struggles to find her place- both as a young adult, and as a healer. A healer in a society that no longer understands the power and importance of cosmic forces.

At 19, Wayra is coming into her power as a healer and shaman. It is her role, keeping the Seen and the Unseen in balance. The two aspects intertwine and affect each other continuously.

Suddenly, there is something new in the Unseen: stalking Wayra. It begins with trivial things, but quickly becomes bigger things. Chaotic terrifying dreams in unknown landscapes become omens. Her animal totems (protectors?) disappear from her life, her friends are in danger. The darkness in the Unseen begins consuming her life. Wayra must figure out what the force drawing toward her is, because it might be more than her own personal world at stake.


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