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The Girl on the Train > Question 6: Marriage....secrets and lies?

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message 1: by [deleted user] (last edited Aug 25, 2015 06:48AM) (new)

In the book, we get a number of glimpses within several marriages (Rachel and Tom, Tom and Anna, Megan and Scott). These marriages seem to have a lot of secrets and lies. Do you think this is normal in marriages, or are they very extreme outliers? Is it ever justifiable to lie to someone you love? How much is too much to lie about—where do you draw the line?


message 2: by Susan (new)

Susan | 130 comments I think that strong relationships - whether married or not - have very few secrets and lies. I would pose another question - do secrets and lies emerge when a relationship goes bad, or does a relationship go bad because of secrets and lies? Either way ... a bad outcome ... even if not quite as desperate as that painted in the book. So I need to believe that these are outliers.

That said, I have been known to slide a pair of shoes or a new outfit past my husband and wait a bit to tell him I was shopping. So no one is perfect.


message 3: by Allison (new)

Allison | 396 comments Susan wrote: "I think that strong relationships - whether married or not - have very few secrets and lies. I would pose another question - do secrets and lies emerge when a relationship goes bad, or does a rela..."

Susan, your secret purchases slipped past your husband made me chuckle. I'm sure you are not alone!


message 4: by Darrell (new)

Darrell | 55 comments Susan wrote: "I think that strong relationships - whether married or not - have very few secrets and lies. I would pose another question - do secrets and lies emerge when a relationship goes bad, or does a rela..."

Haha, Susan that was funny. You make a good point about which comes first in failed relationships--the secrets/lies or do other problems cause the secrets and lies? I suppose it depends on the relationship, I can see both happening. Perhaps this is a reminder that there is no true "black and white" in relationships (or in secrets or lies) and that each situation is somewhat unique, depending on the participants, the relationship, and history?


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